The World Outside
by Dellanotte
Summary: They lost. Weak after Madara, faced with numbers and technology, Konoha had actually LOST to some nation called “America.” Now, they’re all being separated and it’s all TenTen can do to stay strong…
1. Without a Reason

**Description: **They lost. Weak after Madara, faced with numbers and technology, Konoha had actually LOST to some nation called "America." Now, they're all being separated and it's all TenTen can do to stay strong…

_Yeah, not my first fic, period. But still a fun one for me (because I enjoy misery), with my recurring OC and a perfunctory disclaimer stating that I do not own _Naruto_ or anything affiliated with it besides a bit of merchandise, nor am I anti-American. But in case you're curious while reading,_

_ Author's notes_

_ [Translation into English]_

'Communication besides speaking'

_One scene_

_ Another scene (note that I skipped twice)_

_ On with the nonsense!_

Chapter 1, "Without a Reason"

["LET ME GO!"] Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs. They could all feel the fox struggling against the chakra seals, red glinting in the sunlight. ["DAMMIT, LET ME **GO**!!!"] His captor, finally fed up, spun him around and glared him down. His brilliant green eyes misted over into black, and any will slowly left Naruto's eyes.

"NA-NARUTO!" Hinata called, pulling against her bonds for the first time.

["Calm down, Hinata,"] Shikamaru whispered fiercely. ["It's only a genjutsu. Don't lose your cool."]

Hinata's struggles spiraled into shaking as the twelve of them were marched forward yet again. TenTen's eyes met Neji's, two sets of grim determination. Konoha had fallen, there were chakra seals tattooed over their hearts, and they were being scattered into exile in the country responsible. All the same, none of them were truly beaten, not yet. They told each other not ever.

They were shoved apart, and TenTen forced the panic of separation out of her eyes. Neji saw it anyway, and gave her one of his "keep it together" looks. TenTen nodded slightly, moving with the three kunoichi a year her junior. Her dark eyes scanned each in turn.

Sakura looked furious, but was still forcing herself to be calm.

Ino looked about the same, but seemed closer to tears.

Hinata looked terrified, sending concerned glances at a far-too-quiet Naruto.

TenTen set her jaw, meeting the eyes of each in turn and nodding.

["No communication,"] Sakura's captor ordered.

All four glared, but made no move. With a last look at the guys, TenTen went with the others into a building and a plain white room. There were no windows, a low table, and four bundles.

["Change clothes,"] Ino's captor ordered. ["Yours will stand out too much."]

All four kunoichi were released, and they instantly spun around toward their captors and the door. All four Americans held guns. The kunoichi of Konoha didn't even have kunai. Not even TenTen.

["Don't even try,"] one soldier smirked. ["Just get dressed, before we're late."]

["Get out and we will,"] Ino replied.

["Why? We're all _girls_ here."]

TenTen blinked. They were? Yep, they were. And so, unarmed and miserable, they all had to wear...

Skirts.

TenTen hated skirts. And this one was higher than her knees. And the top was a ridiculous white thing with a ridiculously-shaped collar and not enough buttons to open the shirt all the way. The only way the outfit could have _possibly_ resembled her own was the color scheme.

["Gloves."]

TenTen hadn't even bothered to take them off to change. ["You're kidding, right?"]

["Do I look like--?"]

"**KONOHA DAI SENPU!!!**" Something outside crashed.

TenTen blinked again. _Lee?!_

["Stay here,"] one warned, taking another with her and leaving two armed guards.

The sounds of a full fight erupted outside, and TenTen heard explosions. New ones to her ears, gunshots.

["YOU WILL HAVE TO BE FASTER THAN THAT!"] Lee shouted.

["Someone get over to the girls!"]

["GIMME YOUR BEST SHOT!"]

"Shoot!" an enemy shouted. "SHOOT!"

A mix of shouts, many familiar voices. TenTen was listening carefully, easing slowly toward the door. Ino suddenly swiped low, knocking over the guards as the kunoichi ran forward. More gunshots, and they froze at the sight before them: all eight males from their group, sprawled out on the ground, unmoving. The green-eyed genjutsu user spotted them before they could blink.

"Secure them," he ordered quickly. The two from inside quickly joined with others to seal them off, leveling their barrels with the kunoichi's necks. TenTen's eyes darted toward her comrades as the genjutsu user pulled Neji up to his knees. The red fuzz of a dart glowed from his neck, but his eyes were still alert and resilient.

"NEJI!" TenTen called, fighting the shoving enemy. ["NEJI, stand up!"]

His eye just caught hers from the side. He couldn't move his head, _let alone_ stand up. The man holding him by his shirt collar shook him and caught his eyes again. TenTen watched her teammate glue his eyes shut, even as the enemy shoved him yet again.

She saw the electricity crackle from the enemy's hands and across Neji's frame, saw the pain, saw his eyes shoot open, saw a pair of green eyes darken. "NEJI! NEJI!" Her voice caught, and they finally shoved the last kunoichi inside as the enemy moved on to Sai. ["Dammit..."]

All four were made to sit against the wall, staring down the barrels of guns. TenTen forced herself to, to ignore the pit that had just been opened into her heart. She hadn't wanted to see that, to see them lose, to see this happen, to see the will leave Neji's eyes. But she had, and she would now have to live with that.

Sakura was watching her, TenTen met her concerned stare. She nodded, steeling herself. The four kunoichi locked gazes in mutual agreement: they would not get themselves caught in that spell, too. Not if they were to look after the guys now, not if they wanted a chance.

TenTen sat in her chair miserably, moving her fingers back and forth. On her left sat Lee, not hyper and not looking at anything. On her right sat Neji, brows not knotted together in concentration and not his usual focused self. Whatever genjutsu that man had cast, it wasn't slackening. It was like sitting between two perfectly constructed dolls. And she wasn't the only one in this position.

TenTen glanced past an unmoving Lee at the small window, where she could see the tops of clouds. How this thing could fly was beyond her, and the first shock of a dropping stomach at take-off was still working its way out of her system. There had been so much shock recently...

The defeat of Madara and Eagle, the former a nightmare and the latter incredibly painful. An attempt to rebuild the damage to not just Konoha but every one of the five great nations, the sudden onslaught of a new enemy using guns to compensate for a lack of relative skill. The conqueror and his air of superiority, a total newcomer and yet the victor. His wife, who had looked upon them as children, understanding nothing of soldiers.

TenTen pulled her mind from the nightmare yet again, focusing on her current predicament. She wrung her hands yet again, balling her left into a fist in her lap and lifting her right. She slowly reached over and squeezed Neji's hand tightly, drawing his vacant gaze. She strained to reach him through her eyes, but there was nothing there to reach. Blank. He just didn't _see_ her any more than Lee. It didn't register, she didn't register, and he went back to looking at his lap. She tried all manner of secret signals with her hands—_[__'Hey!'] ['An enemy!'] ['Read me?'] ['Gai-senseii scares me sometimes.'] ['Lee's drunk.'] ['Hey, you.'] ['Neji!']_

He didn't even blink. Instead, his gaze shifted to the ugly magazine nobody wanted to read. He didn't really see it, either. Or the hand waving inches from his face, or the pain on his teammate's, or the amusement on the enemy's.

TenTen did, and she glared with the Will of Fire before snapping her fingers in front of Lee's face. And smacking him on the forehead, and shaking him on the shoulder. And missing all of his usual responses as he remained blank. She missed his annoying enthusiasm as much as she missed Neji's reminder that Lee would keep being like that and that it was no use at all, and the way that he'd fit all that into four or five words as Lee would spout a cacophony of youthful nonsense.

Once again, her efforts sank back into fidgeting between her two hands and struggling not to cry.

["Would you like me to release them?"] a cool voice mocked. Four pairs of eyes trained on the raven-haired monster across the aisle from TenTen, perhaps the biggest cause of their current predicament. He was looking at TenTen, who was looking at his smirk. No dojutsu for her, thank you very much. She slowly nodded, expecting a trap with every muscle contraction.

["What's the magic word?"]

You had to be _kidding_, right?!

["P-please,"] Hinata stuttered bravely.

["Okay."]

From her peripheral, she saw Neji blink, once, slowly, eyes barely opening halfway before he slipped to the side. Something plopped onto each of TenTen's shoulders, and cries from behind told her she wasn't alone. Her eyes confirmed that, yes, Lee and Neji were completely unconscious, and leaning on her big time. TenTen didn't have to see the other three to know that she wasn't the only one glaring flustered, bloody murder at the man TenTen officially dubbed "Mr. Annoying."

["What? I released them. Now they're just unconscious. I understand that the plane is cold, and you're all in short sleeves--"]

["And whose fault is that?"] Ino and Sakura snapped.

["Not mine. But since you're stuck in them, I thought that you could use some extra warmth."]

Must... strangle... GRR!!!

["And besides, we all go our separate ways when we land, so you probably want as much contact with them now, while it's still available."]

["C-could we just talk to them instead?"] Hinata asked. It was a reasonable question.

["Nope. Now I suggest being quiet before I drop you four off to dreamland as well."]

Not an option. The girls shut up. TenTen went back to fidgeting, with two extra weights. Soon, she was finally done fidgeting to the point that she could spare her guys a glance. Lee was both a snorer and a drooler, and he had not yet failed to disappoint. Neji was always a quiet sleeper, breathing barely audible and coming as whisper-soft sighs even so close to her ear.

And getting closer. Her unconscious teammate nuzzled gently into the curve of her neck, sending up a blush and gulp from the battle-hardened kunoichi. Why?! Why?! Why?!

But it was warm. And her thoughts were slowly growing more lethargic, her breath more even. Shadows began to darken her vision, and soon she was slipping into sleep alongside the others.

"_Mnn..._"

The slight murmur slowly called TenTen back into consciousness, and she became aware of something warm and soft against her cheek. It was a dark brown color and somewhat glossy, and when she straightened she realized that she had been resting her head on Neji's. There was a weight in her lap, but she ignored it. She knew whose voice had woken her.

If she hadn't been watching, she would have missed seeing Neji's eyes drift open. He blinked slowly, not quite sure where he was and still mostly asleep. His eyes slowly followed the line of what he was leaning against, stopping when his eyes met TenTen's. She could practically see the mental fog left by the genjutsu, but he _saw_ her this time.

"TenTen..." he said slowly. "What..?"

Recent events returned to his eyes, along with tension to his body. He straightened quickly, looking about the long, narrow room lined with high-backed chairs in rows of two and three. The enemy across from them chuckled, earning glares from all conscious Konoha ninja. He simply shrugged, returning his attention to his book.

TenTen and Neji exchanged a look of distaste before Neji noticed TenTen's lap. More specifically, the weight on TenTen's lap:

A drooling, still unconscious Rock Lee. Sometime, most likely when TenTen had slumped toward and onto Neji, Lee had slipped from her shoulder and into her lap.

Shaking her head and careful of what was concealed in her hands, TenTen moved Lee back into his own chair. Where he promptly slipped back onto her shoulder and resumed snoring. TenTen shrugged hopelessly and looked back to Neji.

Who looked mildly surprised, which probably meant that he was probably mildly shocked. She followed his gaze past Lee and out the window, where the clouds continued to drift by below.

Below. He'd thought that they were on a boat or something, not... Were they actually..?

TenTen slowly nodded, answering the unasked question. She then shrugged at his next one. His mask began to slide back up, but froze and fumbled as she smoothed out her drool-spotted, red, pleated skirt. Red, pleated skirt. Skirt. TenTen was wearing a skirt.

"TenTen," he whispered, "why are you wearing a skirt?"

She gave him her first, wry, smile of the day (possibly the week). "Same reason you're not in the Hyuuga clan robes."

He blinked, seeing the weird white shirt like hers-a polo- and gray pants-jeans- for the first time. The guys had changed under the effects of genjutsu, so it was understandable. He shook his head as those memories flickered back as well. He then led her eyes to his lap, where his hands began to flick sign language at her.

_'You spent too much time trying to get through to us.'_

_'I was a little bored.'_

_'I noticed.'_

_'Sorry.'_

_'At least you stayed conscious.'_

_'Mostly. That genjutsu-'_

_'Not genjutsu.'_

TenTen paused, momentarily thrown. Had she read wrong?

He repeated the signs. _'It's not genjutsu.'_

_'What, then?'_

_'Not sure. But it's not genjutsu; not an illusion.'_

TenTen frowned, looking at Neji's own frowning face. She glanced back down at her hand, glancing back up to make sure he had followed. _'Plan?'_

_'Not yet. You?'_

_'Nothing that doesn't get us all caught in not-genjutsu.'_

"We shall go forth in a flurry of guts and youth," Lee said.

Both whirled their heads around to look at their third teammate when had he woken up?! No sooner did they do so than he slipped from TenTen's shoulder and into her lap, where he resumed his snoring.

They stared, Mr. Annoying actually laughed, and they glared at him. Neji even more than TenTen, given what had been done to him. Lee mumbled something incoherent about Neji and a curling iron and the flower of youth, earning himself dual glances of WTF.

TenTen flashed Neji a hopeless smile, and he merely raised an eyebrow. Things, for that instant, felt almost happy and normal, and then she got a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something told her the last thing she wanted to accept: that their team really was being broken up, and that they really would be separated.

As always, Neji read her thoughts in her eyes. Unused as he was to giving comfort, he placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. Startled, TenTen looked back into his eyes and lost her fear on the spot. They'd get out of this, one way or another, together. They were Konoha shinobi, and Team Gai.

"The power of youth shall always prevail," Lee mumbled. He then continued into her lap about her, Neji, a magical fridge, and a mushroom. Neji felt her shoulder shake with muffled laughter, and was mildly surprised to find himself in the same predicament. TenTen shook her head in hopelessness, and he felt his own body sag slightly.

"Lee, what are we going to do with you?" TenTen sighed, moving him against the wall and smoothing the too-short skirt, again. Neji wasn't used to her showing that much leg.

"Whatever you do with him," Mr. Annoying remarked, "you may want to do it soon. We land in five hours, and then you'll all go your separate ways. …Ooh, best glare yet, by the way."

TenTen and Neji silently resolved to kill Mr. Annoying.

One by one and two by two, all of the guys came out of the not-genjutsu. The enemy seemed quite easygoing about letting them all talk freely, so sure in their victory.

"Remember during that ridiculously troublesome mission?" Shikamaru asked.

Even Shikamaru wasn't sleeping through this, then.

"Yes, actually," Neji smirked. "Remind me how we won that one?"

Neji needing reminding? Duh.

"Sure. First that guy who won by a fart and TenTen's cheering section came and attacked without warning."

"I remember that first one," Kiba smirked. "He hadn't seemed too bright 'till then."

"Well he ran with _you_ as a kid, so what'd you expect?" Naruto smirked.

"Watch it, fox face."

"Dog breath."

"Uhh, I'd actually _like_ to hear the end of the story," Ino told them.

"_Fiiine_," both pouted.

"So then Madame Rope-hair and that chick with the giant forehead came in as backup, and that left the guy casting illusions."

"Was that when the wild man came and pounded his face into the ground?" Kiba smirked.

"No, the wild man was busy terrorizing the enemy transport with… What was his name, the one who was such a late-comer to the squads?"

"I'm not sure," Sai smiled, "but I know who you're talking about."

"Yeah, um-um…" Kiba scratched his head. "Crap, now _I've_ forgotten, too."

"So we all know who it was," Sakura interrupted. "Continue."

"But back to that last-standing enemy," Shikamaru said. "Mr. Gloom-and-Doom Destiny and that chick with the love of metal came in out of nowhere. The guy didn't know what hit him."

TenTen and Neji exchanged a glance and shook their heads, as if remembering some long-gone nonsense.

"And in all that, that guy… Damn, I suck at names, today."

"It's understandable." Ino glared at Mr. Annoying, who barely glanced up from his book.

"Who was it?" Naruto pressed.

"The one who won in the Chunin prelims with a pre-match forfeit…"

Frowning, Shikamaru tapped his forehead as if to prod some memory out of its hole.

"You mean the one who Naruto took forever to recognize after his training?" Shino prompted.

"Yeah, I guess…" Shikamaru kept scratching his head. "Anyway, in all that he'd managed to neutralize the enemy armory."

Kiba whistled. "Nice. All alone?"

"Not really," Shino replied.

"Wh-who was he with?" Hinata asked.

"If you don't know, it's too long a story to explain," Shino replied.

"Mr. Mysterious strikes again," Naruto said sarcastically.

"So what happened next on this supposedly troublesome mission?" Ino smirked.

"Well, the guy who always brings stuff to the picnic and_ our favorite slacker_ wound up as backup with this chick who looked like she had _no spine_ whatsoever."

"She couldn't have been _that bad_," Naruto retorted with a roll of his eyes.

"She wasn't, at all."

"Told ya so!"

"But seriously, that mission was such a pain. Everything had to be perfectly timed, hinging on one specific cue."

"Which was?"

"Uhh…"

"You forgot, didn't you?" Ino teased.

"It was a troublesome mission," Shikamaru protested.

"You remembered plenty of other stuff," Naruto protested back.

"Leave me alone," Shikamaru groaned.

"You couldn't even remember anyone's names," Sakura teased.

"You sound like my girlfriend," Shikamaru groaned. Then he realized what he'd said and his face read, _Oh, __**shiiit**__!_

"_You have a_ **girlfriend**?" Naruto and Kiba's eyes were _huuuge_.

"We-well, I—"

"What's her name?" Sakura prompted.

"Tha-that's—"

"It's Temari," Ino said, almost bored.

"TEMARI?! FROM THE _SAND VILLAGE_?!"

"How the heck did _you_ know?!" Shikamaru exclaimed. Once he looked ahead to everyone else, his face did another round of _Oh, __**shiiit**__!_

Naruto's smile turned wicked. His wasn't the only one.

As the fun continued, Sai took notes.

TenTen actually laughed as Lee went to question Shikamaru on a fulfilled springtime of love, and was a little surprised when she heard a chuckle on her right. She looked over at Neji, and he quickly buried the lapse in seriousness.

"The good mood really _is_ infectious, huh?" she asked, smiling and stretching. Neji "hmphed" and crossed his arms, giving her the "don't be ridiculous" look. TenTen gave him her usual giggle, and snuggled back into her seat while turning to face him fully. Everything that the Konoha shinobi did in the next half hour proved that the enemy was underestimating them.

Funny stories, good times, and Naruto's obsession with Ichiraku Ramen (seconded by Choji) passed the time away, a perfectly faked farewell that the enemy bought with egos huger than that of the whole Uchiha clan. Even Neji was laughing as Lee ran down the aisle with Naruto on his back, mimicking their sensei's departure from Sunagakure.

"Hey, Naruto," Shikamaru said lazily. The enemy barely glanced at him. "I just remembered that cue word, from that mission with fart boy."

"Huh? What was it?" Naruto asked.

TenTen stretched her arms over the seat before her, raising a brow in unison with Neji.

"Genzai."

Naruto, Lee, Sakura, Ino, Skikamaru, Choji, and Hinata leaped from their seats, attacking the enemy sitting in such convenient rows. Before Mr. Annoying could jump, TenTen and Neji had him pinned in the aisle. The enemy clicked their guns uselessly, telltale Kikaichou crawling along the barrels. Sai soon had the cockpit door swinging harmlessly, allowing Kiba to waltz right in and persuade the crew to turn this thing around.

TenTen smirked, and bent low in Mr. Annoying's ear. "Little word of advice: never underestimate shinobi, especially shinobi of _Konoha_." Mr. Annoying growled in frustrated disbelief as Neji pressed a point or two to render him paralyzed. She and Neji smirked to each other, knowing not to relax until they were off of this thing.

So then why was it suddenly so hard to stay awake..? TenTen's head swam, and the suddenly slowing fight was far off in her ears. "Neji, I…" She slipped, dropping onto the enemy below. She couldn't make her lead arms move; felt something fall across her back, something heavy to her right, and something tightening against and over her left-hand side. The last of her energy found her tilting her head to her right.

Her eyes found Neji's, both sets drooping steadily closed. The rest of him was close enough to kiss, and she realized that it was his arm that had fallen across her back. Her fingertips brushed his on her side, and she thought, as her mind slipped off into darkness, that she heard someone whisper her name.

"TenTen…"

_Neji…_

Somehow, they had failed.

_And so concludes the first, and perhaps longest, chapter of this fic (not that the others'll be a paragraph long, or anything…) If you like it, or don't, please review._


	2. Cut Throat

_This covers events before Chapter One, explaining how the HELL America beat Konoha. Please note that unless I am indicating a translation with ["blah"], they are speaking in Japanese for story purposes. Normally, this will work the other way, but this is too much text for that._

When Gai-senseii told them that they were being invaded-AGAIN- TenTen had nearly screamed. Pein had just nearly wiped them out, Uchiha & Co. had nearly taken what was left, and an new enemy was attacking them _now_? NOW?!

TenTen swallowed it and awaited the orders for their squad along with their teammates. They were a part of the pre-emptive strike. Hard and fast. The enemy had what appeared to be advanced technology, but no visible ninja. They weren't even from this continent, for mercy's sake. America had shown little influence up until now (besides fashion and technology-wise, but only so far) and mainly through Japan, so the invasion had taken them all by surprise.

"But why has this 'America' suddenly attacked?" Lee had asked.

"Because they're big-shots back home and like being busy-bodys," Shikamaru had drawled. "Such a troublesome country."

And so Teams Gai and Nara headed out for further intel and hopefully an early hit for their side. Basic operations, paper bombs and squaring off. The enemy raised some type of tube, nothing particularly threatening to them.

"What on Earth..?" Lee asked.

"Not crossbows..." Shikamaru murmured. "I don't see how it's a weapon."

"TenTen?" Neji, naturally, asked the weapons expert.

She didn't hear him, eyes on the strange objects through her binoculars. Her instincts were buzzing around them, blocking out the flames near the enemy and even Neji's voice. "What..?" The enemy was behind a ridge, showing little besides their arms, heads, and the weapons. "They're some type of weapon, I'm sure..."

"TenTen?"

Their fingers were on the same type of trigger as on a crossbow. Tightening. They were going to fire something, and the barrel... Barrel. Like one on a fireworks cannon.

Neji saw TenTen's eyes widen, and she finally sucked in a deep breath. As the enemy commander gave an order. "Ten-"

"EVERYBODY DOWN!!!" she shouted.

Multiple somethings exploded, something slammed Neji behind a low ridge and stayed on him, multiple somethings zoomed by overhead, and multiple somethings behind him broke. It made little sense. Same for just about everyone else, but nobody seemed injured. Neji then looked up at the something still on top of him, and realized that it was TenTen. She'd pushed him to the ground for some unknown reason, and was making a quick scan.

"Gomen." She quickly got up, staying low, and her eyes rested on a freshly injured tree.

"What was that, TenTen?" Shikamaru asked.

"A projectile weapon," she replied. "It looks like a fireworks cannon, and if I'm right..." TenTen moved to the tree, careful of enemy fire. She reached in and pulled something from the outer heartwood, something that deepened her frown considerably. "It sounded like there was a small explosion, and it propelled this forward, out the barrel, at the target." She showed them the object, a small metal... something that none of them, not even their weapons expert, had seen before.

"Are you serious?!" Ino breathed. "That little thing did _that_?!" She gestured the severely damaged tree.

"If it had enough force," Shikamaru said seriously. "And if the enemy is firing things that quickly, in serious numbers..."

Shit.

The enemy weapons granted a serious advantage. Individually, American soldiers couldn't keep up with shinobi; their bodies weren't trained for it. But with enemy _groups_, all shooting the "mini-cannons," it was all they could do to avoid severe casualties.

"You need to rest, Sakura," Sai said a week into the fighting.

"No..." Sakura mumbled. "I can't."

"You barely have enough chakra to maintain your vitals," Neji said.

"Sakura-san, I am fine now..." Lee tried to stand, only to shudder as he fell back on his rear.

"Sit still, Lee," Sakura said, working to fix the wound to his leg. The offending shot sat in a little blood pool beside her, destruction in disguise. It was the thirty-third one she'd had to deal with that day alone. The bags under Sakura's eyes could have held all of the shots she'd dealt with in the past week, all several hundred. It royally sucked. "There we go. Send in the next one."

"Thank you, Sakura-san," Lee bowed. "Please do not stress yourself too much."

"This, coming from you?" Sakura asked with a wry smile.

"We've got a problem," Naruto exclaimed, running forward.

"What?" Neji and TenTen were quick to their feet.

"The enemy has ninja after all!"

"What?!"

"It's a dojutsu user, and he's already brought down Team Nara!"

"Yosh! We shall go!"

"Lee!" TenTen shouted. Neji was there before her, air palming the enemy across the field as Squad 7 arrived as backup. Enough damage done, the genjutsu user smirked and escaped a duet of TenTen's weapons and Sakura's earth smash. TenTen quickly returned her attention to her unconscious comrade. "Lee..."

Sakura was already there, moving Lee under cover. "What happened?"

"Enemy dojutsu," TenTen and Neji replied simultaneously, bringing in the other three victims.

Sakura nodded, laying Lee out and focusing her chakra. Given the damage Sharingan was capable of, she was more than capable of dealing with genjutsu. Neji and Sai kept an eye around as Sakura set to work on Lee. "No way..."

TenTen tensed. "What?"

"This-this genjutsu... I've never seen anything like it..." Sakura hardened herself, jumping back to work. But nothing worked. "I don't know how to handle this..."

Sakura, apprentice to the late Tsunade, couldn't handle this.

Shit.

"Someone's coming." Neji sounded cold. He was really bothered by Lee's condition.

"Who?" TenTen looked at the 3-meter-high ridge Neji was facing.

"A kunoichi. I've never seen her before, and she has no village insignia."

"An enemy?"

"Most likely. She just transformed into a cat."

"Tryin' to sneak up on us, eh?" Naruto smirked, already forming seals.

"Here she comes." Everyone faced the ridge some four meters off. "Get ready... WHAT?!"

A silver DRAGON suddenly swooped over the ridge, sending up cries of dismay. TenTen's weapons bounced off of it with a shiiing, not even leaving a scratch.

"THAT'S NOT A CAT!!!" Naruto shouted.

"She transformed at the last second."

"TAKE THIS!" Sakura charged, and the dragon slipped to the right, shadowing black and shifting into the silhouette of a human. The black barely faded to reveal a mostly black full-body wardrobe with a light blue, thigh-length haori and matching mask. She was a brunette, with a spiky bun and ocean deep eyes, dodging every punch Sakura threw at her, with no visible effort.

Then Neji took over, speeding up the pace considerably. The enemy didn't flinch. She simply dodged with easy, fluid movements, even at Neji's highest speed. TenTen couldn't _believe_ what she was seeing.

"No wonder the Americans are scared of you."

The _power_ in her voice was unreal. TenTen attacked all the same as the others dodged her line of fire. The enemy made some weird sign with separate hands, pinky touching thumb.

"_Lisrelsil ucral._"

Chakra streamed from her hands and formed a shield as her arms crossed horizontally, catching every kunai in midair. What kind of technique could _do that_? The enemy's irises shimmered as cold blue as her chakra, and she spun to catch Neji's Juken in the same movement. She had an opening. On Neji.

She pulled away, pausing before the lot of them, and released her handsigns. The technique's aurora faded, and she reached for a silver band high on her left arm. It shimmered to life, and chakra scrolled before her in intricate, ancient, foreign characters.

"Peace Corps Officer Anoh-Miolryuu. I'm on orders to secretly ally myself and aid Konoha shinobi against the invading American forces."

"WHAT?!"

"...Do you really need me to repeat that, or may I take a look at your unconscious comrade?"

"You-you-"

"Do you honestly expect us to believe you?" Neji asked with his usual all-seeing glare.

"In _all_ honesty, no. But I'm here to help, whether you trust me or not."

"You're not getting _anywhere_ near Lee," Sakura glared.

"Because you can handle it?"

Sakura went to punch her. Anoh let her. Sakura gasped as this sank in and Anoh crashed into the ridge behind.

"_Kharas..._" Anoh sighed, making her previous handsign before shifting the joined digits from the outside to below the middle finger. The stream became a halo, and she folded her arms over her chest to heal herself. The chakra faded as she stood, strong but passive.

_She never flinched the whole time... Not even when Sakura hit her._ TenTen and Neji exchanged a glance, the same thought in their eyes.

"Why do you want to help us?" Sai asked. "You're clearly a foreigner, as good as your accent is." Remember that they're speaking in Japanese. "I've never heard of the Peace Corps, so how can we trust you as an ally? Why should we?"

Anoh sighed. "The Peace Corps, not to be confused with an American volunteer agency, is an international underground organization set up in squads of three in major cities worldwide. Borders mean nothing to us, and we're not happy with America's latest intrusion."

"_Latest_ intrusion?"

"America meddles. All the time, with any excuse. Manifest destiny, the American way, etc. If you don't get that last bit, you are extremely lucky."

"I got the gist of it," Neji replied curtly. "But that's no indication of trustworthiness. What nationality are you?"

Anoh barely blinked. "Officially, American. But _un_officially, which is more important, I am a PCO and disapproving of American policy." She met some very disapproving glares, and sighed again. "You've seen the soldiers, how they fight. No special skills or chakra, save one or two. You're more similar to me than them, and you don't need these guys interfering as they do. If they do, it'll be the end of a lot of you guys as you know it. I accepted this mission with glee, and will carry it out as is necessary. You don't even have to trust me; I'll help you all the same."

She wasn't begging; she wasn't even asking, and as far as TenTen could tell she wasn't lying. And her eyes were meeting theirs. TenTen could feel Neji analyzing her; every blink, every breath. She knew what was coming before Neji opened his mouth.

"Fine," her teammate said coolly. "I can see that you aren't lying, but if you make any move to harm any of us, I will kill you."

"One move is all it will take with Lee," Sakura warned.

"Do I look _that_ untrustworthy..?"

Squad 7 flinched at how much Anoh had sounded like Kakashi at that moment.

"Well, you _are_ wearing a mask and have weird tattoos," Naruto said.

"My apologies, but due to my _other_ jobs back home, I can't be found out."

The banter continued as TenTen sighed and silently debated with Neji. They soon nodded. "I'm with Neji on this. We'll give you a chance. _A chance._" She didn't miss Squad 7's disbelief, or the relief in Anoh's eyes. Not newbie joy, but the kind that earned respect. The newcomer nodded, cautiously but confidently approaching a still-unconscious Lee. She kneeled down, forming what appeared to be her jutsu's basic handsign.

"_Miol aural, sclir in xlun; ula ni lura, Lisrelsil Ucral._" Blue chakra, cooler blue than their own and not Sakura's healing green, formed a halo over her pale hand and barely had time to form its miniature aurora borealis before she shifted the sign to heal and it flattened to a halo. She placed one hand on Lee's forehead, the other over his heart, closing her eyes as the picture of serenity.

"Unh..."

TenTen allowed herself a breath of relief as Lee opened his eyes.

"What happened..? Who are you..?"

"Anoh. An ally."

"You got caught in the enemy technique," TenTen explained. "Even Sakura couldn't crack it."

"Sakura-san..? SAKURA-SAN!"

TenTen sighed and shook her head as Lee bounded over to Sakura and Neji pinched his brow in frustration. Anoh looked amused. She also made a quick job of Team Nara, and explanations awkwardly followed.

A sudden predatory sound, too deep to be a cat's mew, startled the shinobi.

"My partner," Anoh said, straightening. "Please don't attack her."

As a huge silver sabertooth bounded in from the brush, TenTen fought down her urge to attack.

"Casclu." Anoh sounded like she was smiling, power or not, as she and... Casclu rubbed heads. "Report?"

"Enemy approaching," Casclu said, without opening her mouth? One platoon, from the North."

"Understood. Merci."

"Hai."

Anoh turned to the Konoha shinobi. "You guys heard?"

"Hai."

"Who's the leader?"

The two squads exchanged a look. Everyone nodded to Neji, who nodded back.

"I am," he said without hesitation. "Hyuuga Neji."

"What are your orders, then?"

Not trying to force her way into leadership, just offering her assistance. Intelligent little American.

"Everyone's good to fight?"

"Hai."

"Then we attack."

"ALRIGHT!" Naruto led the charge, only to be grabbed by Sakura. "Sakura-chaaan..."

"URUSAI!"

"...Does he get too much sugar, or something?"

"No, that's just Naruto."

"Ah. That's why he's not team leader?"

"Yep."

"Ah. I like you guys, already."

"..."

Anoh had soon proven herself to be a powerful ally, starting with the fact that her technique could stop not only kunai, but bullets. She could also send them back, but almost inevitably went for the legs. PCOs, apparently, weren't allowed to use fatal action. But she _did_ know just about every tactic employed by the Americans, and the most effective countermeasures. It was, therefore, most amusing when she met Shikamaru.

"Why aren't you helping your own country?" Shikamaru asked early on.

"I'm a PCO first, American second. I don't like America's actions here, and besides. This may not be in America's best interest, either."

"How's that?"

"I don't know what they hope to gain by increasing the national debt. Again. And a lot of other nations are getting sick of this."

"And you are, as well."

"Doi."

"Tanks," Anoh hissed. They'd never seen her without the mask, but she obviously wasn't smiling.

"On it," Naruto smirked. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Gamakichi materialized before the tanks, sending up American cries in waves. He and Naruto quickly plowed through the line of "tanks," flipping them over like dominoes.

Until the dominoes started firing. Some wounds were too much even for Sakura and Anoh, especially headshots.

"Oh… shit…" Shikamaru stared in horror at the elongate things spilling vapor trails as they shot into the sky. TenTen was no better off.

"What is it?" Neji asked, worried.

"There's no time," TenTen whispered as they arced down a mile South. Seconds later, an explosion rocked the earth with a force on par with boss summonings. Everyone froze, dumbstruck. "Missiles."

"That is insane…" Lee whispered. "How can we defend against those?"

"Don't get hit," Shikamaru replied glumly.

"TenTen?"

"Don't get hit, or be far enough belowground. Or in somewhere ridiculously fortified. The only other option is to stop them at the source."

The enemy was waiting for that last part. Then, they stormed the main camp, even though not a single enemy had been reported anywhere near enough for detection. The final battle found almost every Konoha shinobi dead, almost all the rest in critical, and not a single one able to stand.

They had spent a month in a hospital, first as prisoners of war and then as "unfortunate children". And then they had been herded onto that accursed plane bound for America, 66% of them not of their own free will and the other third with no choice in the matter. Defeat had finally come to Konoha.

End of chapter.

_Pretty much sucks for them, ne? I tried to make it as realistic as I could, and I feel that I must state that I am not just bashing America as I bloody please. I'm just bashing Bush's foreign policy, and maybe pop culture later on. I'm from Louisiana myself, so please don't flame me over that. But, feel free to review, 'k? _


	3. Wave of Anguish

_Still don't own _Naruto_. Now that I've somewhat explained how the Hell this happened, back to the main story of unspeakable horror..._

They landed not in Konoha but the San Francisco International Airport. TenTen blinked, suddenly able to think for the first time since she'd woken up two hours before. Neji had been right: that wasn't genjutsu. It was pure and simple mind control.

_Neji._ TenTen looked at him from the corner of her eye and found him looking back. She tried to sign something but couldn't. She looked down at her hand and found that it wouldn't move. She had only been returned control of her mind. And as she looked back at Neji, she nearly cried at what she saw in his eyes.

_We failed_. TenTen held his gaze as long as she could, but but finally couldn't take that look, from him, of all people, and averted her eyes to her lap. She could still feel his eyes on her, but she just couldn't...

Lee was quiet, too. And his gaze was also on her, unable to find Neji's through her. Could she bear to see defeat in his eyes, too? Neji had once been fatalistic, but Lee... Lee always... He never... He was stubborn in a way as hyper as Neji was cool, and...

She looked up at Lee, and wished she hadn't.

_Focus!_ she told herself. _Find a way out; there's a way out of this. Just don't give in..._ TenTen tried to beam this to Neji then Lee, but she couldn't make them believe it. She couldn't even make _herself_ believe it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching the gate," falsely cheery speakers announced. "Please remain seated while the seatbelt sign remains lit, and be careful opening any overhead bins as items may have shifted during flight. Welcome to San Francisco, and the crew of..."

TenTen didn't care. She met Neji's gaze again, looking past the defeat there because she just wanted to see him as long as she could, while she still could. To tell him everything he meant to her, to touch him, to not have to sit here letting him go. And Lee, who was still looking out the window at a strange and unfamiliar world. They were her teammates, her brothers, more than either of those. They were her guys, Neji and Lee.

She suddenly became aware of a light, almost nonexistent weight over her breastbone. Three charms on a cord; gifts from Neji, Lee, and Gai-sensei respectively from once upon a time; the necklace she always wore, hidden beneath her shirt. She felt the black cord on her neck, the warmed metal on her skin. She had something to remember them by.

She'd tried to ensure the same for them.

They were all made to stand and walk out in single file. Their bodies looked casual, normal, but their eyes were nothing but. The Will of Fire was being smothered by the wet blanket atmosphere, and the cruelty of what was being done. If that woman had truly understood mercy, she would have let them all be killed as Konoha shinobi.

Neji was in front of her, Lee behind, the other nine behind him and the enemy starting and ending the line. As if they could do anything anyway. TenTen kept her eyes on Neji's back, the tie of his hair, her last minutes with him. Lee's breath was on her neck, and so loud in her ears. Whatever awaited them at the end of this hall, TenTen braced herself.

The room was _huge_, and filled with busy people. It was more like a giant hall than anything, or a gigantic market. The group moved to the side, staring wide-eyed at this crazy place. A walkway the width of a four-lane street separated a wall of doors and booths and restaurants set into the wall from section after section of rows and rows of chairs and a booth and a door. And people, everywhere, so many different types all hurrying along and talking and dragging weird wheeled bags behind them. This place, it was--

"This is where you will all go off to your new homes, never to see each other ever again," Mr. Annoying said. As if they hadn't already known. "_A~ah_, there's the _first_ guide."

A teenage girl with a curtain of brown hair past her shoulders and glasses over dark eyes came forward through the crowd, smiling a surprisingly sad smile. Her weird shirt, unlike TenTen's, was black, and she was actually wearing pants. Light blue jeans and black, closed-toed shoes. A blue and silver amulet hung between her collar bones, and a small black satchel, a purse, was swung over her bust and behind her. All twelve watched her warily, wishing that she wasn't about to take one of them away, wondering who it would be, praying that it wouldn't be them.

The girl, pale as Neji, could tell. But she didn't prolong it. "You are TenTen, correct?"

TenTen nodded "yes." And was suddenly shocked that she could. She had control of her body again, and used it to turn back to her closest friends.

"Bye bye," Mr. Annoying smirked. "Go forth, now, with nary a look ba-"

"He~ey, baka," the brunette smiled, ruffling Mr. Annoying's spiky black hair.

"Bwa, A-YOU! What are you-?!"

"Just saying 'hello,'" the brunette beamed, simultaneously kowaii, perky, and calm.

TenTen blinked. This girl had just--girl. She looked about their age, 17. The enemies holding them up until now had all been adults. Mr. Annoying looked about 25, maybe 30. And yet this... _whoever_ person had just...

"Hello," she smiled to TenTen in that low alto voice of hers. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to be stuck with me as a housemate for a good while. I know that there are better situations for us to meet, but let's try to get along, ne?"

What about all of TenTen's scathing replies? She'd lost them all!

"You don't have to say that it's 'nice to meet me,' either, since we all know that it's not. You're going to want to say good-bye to everyone before we go, anyway, right?"

"Ye-yes--"

"Miss Guide," Mr. Annoying growled, "the plan's to get them out of their old lives ASAP, not to--"

"Oh, boo-hoo to you, dude," Miss Guide replied. "If they're never going to meet again, we may as well allow for proper good-byes."

"But--"

"Besides," Miss Guide shrugged, "if they try anything, we can stick another body bind on them. We're in an airport, for mercy's sake."

She said it matter-of-factly enough for TenTen to remember that this person was an enemy. Like Mr. Annoying.

He was frowning. "I'll let two move. But if they cause a riot, it's on your head."

"They won't," Miss Guide said with the tone of _They're not stupid, dude_. "So, who'll it be?"

Like TenTen had to think about that one. "Neji and Lee. My teammates."

Mr. Annoying's eyes shimmered an unearthly green, and the change was immediate. Neji stiffened, and Lee stumbled forward. And kept going, throwing himself around her in a Team Gai trademark hug. She could tell he was trying not to cry in front of the enemy. TenTen hugged back, patting him on the back and looking over her shoulder at Neji. He was unreadable.

Until Lee pulled him into the hug, drawing a look of extreme dismay.

"Lee, what are you-" Neji growled.

"ENJOY THIS MOMENT OF YOUTH AND FRIENDSHIP, NEJI!" Lee exclaimed, tightening his grip on his squirming teammates. He really didn't care who stopped and stared, did he? Well, she'd known that for awhile. TenTen wriggled her left arm free, keeping her right on Lee's back as she helped draw Neji into the hug.

His eyes widened in a rare way, then narrowed, but he took her shoulder all the same. He seemed, even more rarely, at a genuine loss of what to do.

_I should tell him._ Instead, "I'm really gonna miss you guys. Lee, your crazy and overzealous way of doing things--talk about an understatement-- and Neji, the way you always take this one's nonsense so calmly and are the best training partner I could ever have... I couldn't have asked for better comrades, I... I don't want to lose you two."

"TenTen..." Lee sobbed, "that was beautiful, a true rendition of our amazing and irreplaceable team, I-I AM SO MOVED!!!"

"Lee," Neji sighed, "you're making a scene."

"AND YOU ARE NOT! WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS BE SO SERIOUS AND NEVER SHOW--"

"Because I have more self-control and maturity than you."

"Then I will expect you to take care of yourself until we meet again."

Lee's teammates blinked. Lee looked perfectly serious, tears nonexistent. After a moment, Neji smirked.

"I'll expect the same of you."

TenTen could see the playful sparks, and she smiled at them. "Play nice, you two."

They both shot her a look as they pulled apart, all three refusing to believe that this would be their last time to do so. TenTen clenched her fists, and kept her gaze steady on two of the three men of her life. She took their hands, one in each of hers, and gathered her breath.

"I'll see you guys soon. Will you be stronger when that time comes?"

Lee got it instantly as she dropped their hands. "**Stronger than we were yesterday!!!**"

Neji smirked. "Stronger than we were yesterday."

"Stronger than we were yesterday!" TenTen caught them in one last hug. "I love you guys," she whispered.

And then they all pulled away, and TenTen waved to the other, unmoving, Konoha shinobi, meeting the eyes of each. The Will of Fire burned in everyone, an unspoken promise. Miss Guide smiled an apology as she led TenTen down the giant hall. TenTen never stopped looking back, until the slow and steady curve denied her sight of Neji.

When that happened, TenTen felt a piece of herself die. She avoided contact with anyone and anything, trying to keep the feeling of her teammates' touch as long as she could. The oath of Team Gai, the Will of Fire, the pride of Konoha shinobi. Her hands strayed to her hidden necklace, knowing that Neji had felt it in the major hug. They now all had a piece of each other, even if she was two sets of lock picks down to do so.

"Let me know when you feel like talking," Miss Guide told her gently. "There's a lot you need to know."

TenTen nodded, eyes far away. Miss Guide sighed.

"And while I can't give you my name until we're fully separated, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

TenTen blinked, and stared. The girl held her gaze, sadness in those infinitely dark blue eyes. She looked sincere. TenTen almost believed her.

Neji and Lee stuck their hands in their pockets, yearning to run after her as their control over their bodies was taken away. Lee wanted to see what TenTen had handed them, but Neji was a bit more patient. He formed a mental picture of what was in his fist. A set of small and varying rods, a file, a loop of metal holding it all together: one of TenTen's many micro lock pick sets.

_How appropriate,_ he inwardly smirked. It was, for this mission, if not emotional. _Like that necklace_. He was, admittedly, somewhat surprised that she still wore it, and had been able to even now. Of course, she had retained her fingerless gloves, and they had all managed to keep their Konoha headbands, but still.

_I love you guys..._

_So close and yet so far..._ Neji watched her constantly look behind, proud that he hadn't slipped out of the mask at the last minute and simultaneously berating himself for it. The building's curve pulled her from view, and he didn't have the Byakugan to follow her. For now, she was gone. Time to focus on the present, then. There were still eleven Konoha ninja present, and they had to be the priority.

And yet his will was yearning after TenTen's footsteps.

_"TenTen!" Gai-sensei had cried at the end of another grueling training session. She looked up warily, barely able to hold her head up. That tone..._

_"Yes..." she panted "Gai... sen-sei?"_

_"Why have you not yet shared the glorious news that tomorrow is your fifteenth birthday?"_

_"It is?!" Lee echoed. "Oh, Gai-sensei, we MUST celebrate!!!"_

_TenTen didn't hear the rest, suddenly very scared. Gai-sensei's birthday celebrations were always... TenTen shuddered. She glanced at Neji for his reaction, and found him giving her a sympathetic look, the one generally reserved for Gai-sensei's most absurd nonsense. She returned his look with a grateful one, both glad for at least __one__ sane teammate. If they hadn't had each other, they themselves wouldn't have been sane by this point._

_"Well, you're all free to go," Gai told them._

_...Huh..?_

_TenTen and Neji exchanged a nod, and were swift to make a break for it._

_"Neji, a word."_

_"Hn?"_

_"Bye, TenTen!"_

_"Huh?" TenTen looked at her teammates carefully. Neji did the same. Lee and Gai still here and not running laps around Konoha on their pinkies, wanting a word with Neji, telling TenTen to leave... Duh. "What're you up to?"_

_"Wearenotuptoanythingatall,TenTenandweshallseeyoutomorrowwithnosurpriseswhatsoever!" Lee shouted._

_"Uh-huh." TenTen crossed her arms. "Whatever you're planning, don't."_

_"We'renotplanninganythingatallnowpleasegohome!"_

_"You're a terrible liar, Lee."_

_"Just give it up, TenTen," Neji sighed._

_"Seeyoutomorrow,TenTen!" Lee shoved her out the gate, having waaay too much energy after twelve hours of Team Gai training._

_"Fine, fine, I'm going, Lee! I'm going!" TenTen trudged away, already dreading tomorrow._

_Only once they were certain she was gone did Gai and Lee turn to Neji. He already felt sorry for TenTen--she had the earliest birthday and always got the craziest of Gai's experiments. "What nonsense are you two--"_

_"IT IS NOT NONSENSE AND YOU SHALL HELP!" Lee exclaimed._

_Neji glared coolly at him. "She clearly doesn't want--"_

_"SHE WILL CHANGE HER MIND WHEN SHE SEES IT!!!"_

_"When are you going to realize that--"_

"_NEJI, YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT INSTEAD OF CULTIVATING YOUR FLOWER OF YOUTH, YOU STIFLE IT WITH NEGATIVITY! PLEASE DO NOT DO THE SAME TO TENTEN."_

_"She finds your actions to be as absurd as I--"_

_"IT IS NOT ABSURD TO BE IN THE SPRINGTIME OF OUR YOUTH!"_

_"Do you even __**hear**__ what comes out of your--"_

_"I COULD ASK THE SAME OF YOU, HYUUGA NEJI!"_

_"Could you stop interrupt--"_

_"I AM __NOT__ INTERRUPTING YOU!"_

_"Yes, you a--"_

_"NO I AM NOT!"_

_Neji was __**not**__ going to play this game. "I'm leaving. If you insist on torturing TenTen, do it yourself."_

_...How the __**Hell**__ had they gotten him to agree to this? A present? A __**jewelry**__ present? For TenTen? As Neji glanced along the shop shelves, he mentally consoled himself that they weren't trying to make him bake, again. Far away in another corner of the jewelry store, he could hear the pair of buffoons and all of the noise that went with them. His eyes scanned the rows of charms and drops and whatever the heck that was, trying to find something that actually suited their only female teammate. Why not a weapons shop, or even a calligraphy supplier?_

_Because, according to Gai-sensei, TenTen was their beautiful bud that should be allowed to bloom into full womanhood, not confined to the roles of a man._

_Whatever the Hell Gai thought that he was talking about this time. Neji shook his head, thinking about that "little bud" who had Lee's right hook, precision almost as good as his own, and the temper of a troll. And the troll's belching capabilities, as they had had to discover during one fateful mission. That girl wasn't a flower; she was a dragon._

_A dragon. Hmm... Neji looked back at the section he was in._


	4. Our Farewell

_Here is chapter four, with gratuitous switching of the point of view. Well, maybe not gratuitous... Just look for the scene changes or a certain name and it'll be obvious. It's pretty much TenTen by default. I don't own her, _Naruto_, or whatever else that isn't mine that I toss in._

_......_

_"A WONDERFUL AND YOUTHFUL BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!" Gai and Lee shouted._

_"Uh... Thanks!" TenTen beamed nervously, looking to Neji for support/information on what the heck they'd be put through this time. Thinking about last time and the elephant had given her nightmares._

_"NEJI, YOU MUST WISH HER A WON--"_

_"Happy birthday, TenTen," Neji said with all his usual calm._

_"Thanks," TenTen smiled. _For actually saying it like a normal person.

_Neji smirked at the unsaid comment as the MIG (Monkeys in Green) came forward with..._

_How had they managed to tie that many balloons onto a single bag? And why wasn't that bag floating away? And why were the bag and balloons so many different shades of pink? Why hadn't those two realized that TenTen was sick of pink? And why did Neji have his Byakugan on the bag, and why was he making that face?_

_Ah, she was being looked at expectantly. Neji would warn her if the bag was dangerous, right? He'd been a part of this, right? (She was starting to doubt that) TenTen took a deep breath and opened the bag and found... another bag, in a different shade of pink. She opened it to a spray of multi-shaded confetti, and found a pink-wrapped box. Tulip to classic to magenta. They still had no taste. She opened the box to dodge fireworks, find another box, and take a second to unholster one of her kunai._

_In that box was a drawstring bag containing a box, and in that box was a hat box. And in that was a large and hollow rubix cube wtf (which Neji solved in 3.66667 seconds), and in that was a Christmas cracker. TenTen looked up at Lee and Gai, who still had this look of expectation and excitement wide in their eyes, eyebrows going insane._

_"It's March," TenTen said evenly._

_They did nothing but stare, with that _look_ on their faces. TenTen sighed, patience worn thin, and turned to Neji, who had been silent thus far. He said nothing, but the subtle look of relief she saw told her that it was just about over. She took the hot pink cracker in her fingers, wondering where in Heaven's name they'd gotten it as she pulled. Out popped a white jewelry box._

_TenTen blinked. Not just because it wasn't pink, but because it was a jewelry box. Did they know her even better than she'd thought..? Fingers slightly trembling (she'd felt Neji's gaze on her change at this point), she opened the box and gasped._

_"You-you guys..."_

_Two gold characters flanked a steel spiral of two Chinese dragons, the detail amazing for something two centimeters long and almost identical to... _My Rising Twin Dragons technique...

"_Tha-thank you..!"_

_"YOU ARE MOST WELCOME, TENTEN!"_

_Neji helped TenTen tie the black cord around her neck as Lee explained how all three of them had picked out a charm for the necklace and could she guess who picked what?_

_TenTen thanked Neji and looked at the Japanese characters and dragon spiral. "You picked the 'Guts' character, Lee. Gai-sensei picked 'Youth,' and that means that Neji picked the dragons that look so much like one of my favorite techniques."_

_"AMAZING!" Lee exclaimed. "That is exactly right!"_

_TenTen beamed. "Thanks. You guys know me well--anyone else would've stopped at a weapons shop and just added to my arsenal."_

_Gai and Lee did their tear thing and went all huggy on each other, and Neji... did Neji look almost... uncomfortable? TenTen knew that the Hyuuga wasn't used to happyish stuff like this, but __**still**__..._

_"__**And now!**__" Gai announced. "__**WE SHALL ALL GO SWIMMING!**__"_

_"Huh?" two asked._

_"__**HOORAY**__!" exclaimed the third, who happened to have huge eyebrows._

_"But I didn't bring my swimsuit..." TenTen smiled._

_**"**__WE SHALL ALL MEET AT THE LAKE IN TEN MINUTES!"_

_"__**NO**__, GAI-SENSEII, IN __**FIVE**__ MINUTES!!!"_

_"Let's try half an hour," TenTen sighed._

_"AND ONCE WE GET THERE, WE SHALL __**TRAIN**__!"_

_"... At what?"_

_"__**C!**_

_**P!**_

_**R!!!**__"_

_"GAI-SENSEIIYOUAREAGENIUS!!!"_

_"WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!"_

_......_

_TenTen leaped from branch to branch, swim bag slug over a shoulder. At this rate, she'd be right on time. Which meant that she'd be late. Which wasn't her biggest worry, if they were really practicing CPR (what _was_ wrong with Gai-sensei, anyway?). They'd already been traumatized in the Academy by learning and practicing on each other, and some girls had been worried that it counted as their first kiss. TenTen hadn't been one of these, but still whenever she tried to picture Neji performing CPR on her, the scene inevitably shifted to... And then it shifted to Lee, which was creepy, and then to Gai-sensei, which was just __**wrong**__._

_"__**I WIN THIS ONE, HYUUGA NEJI!!!**__"_

_Wait, what? TenTen focused her ears ahead, slowing and quieting her approach. She could see Neji and the speaker, Lee, facing off by the lake below. Neither had so much as a scratch, so what was Lee talking about? Another blinking contest? Neji won those, too..._

_"YOU SAID THAT TENTEN WOULD BE HAPPIER WITH SOMETHING FROM A WEAPONS SHOP, BUT YOU WERE WRONG! THE TRUTH CAME OUT OF HER OWN MOUTH!"_

_"Hn."_

_So that was why Neji had been uncomfortable earlier. TenTen felt a little stab of guilt as Lee continued with his rant about how Neji should have known his teammate better and that TenTen was, indeed, a woman and then the springtime of youth, etc._

_"Hn."_

_"DO NOT DENY IT THAT I HAVE PROVEN TO KNOW OUR TEAMMATE BETTER!"_

_"It happens," TenTen said brightly. The guys whirled, wide-eyed, to see her perched on a branch in plain view before she jumped down. "Guess today's a blue moon, ne?"_

_"TENTENHOWLONGHAVEYOUBEENTHERE?!"_

_"..!"_

_"Long enough to hear you declare victory, even though I liked both of your presents--"_

_"**STUDENTS**!" Gai called from the opposite shore. "COME FORTH WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH!"_

_"**HAI**, GAI-SENSEII!" Lee shot off across the glass blue surface (a rather recent achievement), leaving a flurry of water in his teammates' faces. They sighed and followed, just not as explosively._

_"TenTen..." Neji began, "about not knowing you as well as I should after two years of this..."_

_She picked up where he left off. "What about it? Most of the time, we're practically telepathic." She heard him swallow his pride._

_"Lee was right that you are indeed a woman, not simply a ninja."_

_"But I'm a kunoichi first, woman second. That's how missions get accomplished, ne?"_

_Neji's mouth twitched into a half-smile. "True."_

_"And if we didn't know each other as well as we do, this conversation wouldn't exist, ne?"_

_"Heh."_

_"I would've gone insane otherwise, stuck with these two."_

_"I do not doubt that."_

_They both got the mental image that plagued such topics, the one that had existed since they were Genin: them, wearing the ridiculous green and orange in Lee's stead, beaming and telling jokes with their childish sensei. Not a pretty picture. They were approaching, now. Just in time to see Lee shoot up from a two-person huddle and strip. ...Oh, God, the Speedo again._

_"Do you think he'll **really** make us practice CPR?"_

_"**RIGHT!**" Gai cut Neji off. "**WHO SHALL DROWN FIRST?**"_

_"**I SHALL, GAI-SENSEII!**" He really would, wouldn't he?_

_It was nearly TenTen, given the way that she had almost forgotten that she was running on water with that latest load of--When her foot dipped below the waves and she pitched forward, Neji grabbed her shoulder to steady her._

_"Thanks."_

_"Hn."_

_"**CANNONBALL OF YOUTH!**"_

_"Lee, wait!" TenTen shouted. "The water's not--"_

_**SPLASH! SMACK!**_

_"That deep."_

_Too late, of course; Lee was sitting in waist-deep water, looking like someone had stuck a pot on his head and banged on it with a hammer._

_"**NO MATTER!**" Lee jumped again, over them, diving into suitably deep water. TenTen and Neji sighed, making their way to shore._

_"I'm not giving him CPR," Neji stated bluntly. TenTen glared at him, but didn't protest._

_"THEN YOU MUST PRACTICE ON TENTEN," Gai ordered, suddenly behind them. "AND LEE MUST PRACTICE ON **YOU**, NEJI!"_

_"NANI?!" both students yelled at equal volume. Rare as Neji's outbursts were, Gai didn't even blink. TenTen tried staring her sensei down, and eventually gave up to slap her own forehead. Neji continued, but Gai didn't even move, save to blink. And then continued to stare Neji down. Neji growled._

_"**GIVE IT UP!**" Gai suddenly exclaimed. "**YOUR LIPS SHALL ALL MAKE CONTACT, TODAY!**" 'N that doesn't sound wrong at all._

_TenTen was convinced that Neji was going to kill him. And she was going to help. But before they could do so--_

_"Have I sufficiently drowned, Gai-sensei?" Lee ordered._

_"**YES!** TENTEN, MAKE TO SAVE YOUR TEAMMATE!"_

_Grr... TenTen complied, eyes beaming bloody murder to Neji. It was mutual, as was the target. She then ran across the water to a subsurface shadow, pulling Lee out by his hair. He didn't even flinch, completely absorbed in being a drowning victim. Credit where it was due. TenTen ran back to shore with Lee over his shoulder, setting him somewhat nicely down on the beach._

_The guys stopped fighting to watch her check for pulse, breathing, blockage of the throat, etc. before she began to pump over Lee's sternum, counting as she provided two breaths and repeated._

_......_

_By the end of three minutes, she was sure of it. Lee was applying lip pressure back. TenTen pulled back after one breath, and found her confirmation. "KISSY FACE?!"_

_Lee sat up, looking sheepish. "I apologize, TenTen. I started imagining that it was the lovely Sakura giving me CPR and before I knew it--"_

_**CA-RACK! **TenTen sent Lee flying over the water as she yelled, "WAS **THAT** ENOUGH LIKE SAKURA FOR YOU?!"_

_Neji chuckled, inadvertently reminding TenTen of what was about to happen._

_"A SOLID PUNCH, TENTEN!" Gai beamed. "AND NOW IT IS YOUR TURN!"_

_TenTen killed the threatening blush. If she had to do this, she'd do it right. "Then I guess I'd better have just my swimsuit on." Without waiting for a response, she pulled up her shirt._

_"NO, TENTEN-!"_

_"What?" she asked, back still arched and the majority of her torso exposed. "I put it on under my clothes before I left."_

_Both breathed a sigh of relief--was Neji blushing? To think that they still reacted like that, even if they didn't swim that often. Because of this (mostly because of Neji), she'd put on her full-cleavage (still relatively modest) red halter, plus the matching boy leg bottoms for the sake of modesty. While waiting for Lee, she pulled the necklace into the hollow of her throat and looped a second knot to hold. She didn't bother letting down her buns, which could survive much worse that water. She was feeling the sand beneath her toes when--_

_"TENTEN, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFULLY RAVISHING IN THE SPIRIT OF YOUR YOUTH-!"_

_TenTen's "don't you talk" aura cut Lee off and down. She calmly walked out onto the water, turning when she heard Gai gather air._

_"STAY DOWN, TENTEN! WE MUST GO FOR THE SUBSURFACE SENARIO!"_

_TenTen waved, diving and sitting on the lake bottom in "sulk mode": legs crossed, arms folded crossly, head down and face cross. Overall, very cross indeed. When she heard Neji's footsteps on the water, she stretched out with her arms under her head, awaiting her "rescue."_

_The water splashed overhead, and Neji barely paused before scooping her up bridal-style. She opened one eye and gave him a wry smile, which was returned, before going utterly limp in his arms and resting her head on his bare chest (oh God). Rush of water, rush of wind, earth below as she forced herself to keep her eyes closed and remain limp, limp, limp as he checked her pulse (and would notice), listened to her breath (so CLOSE!), and open her mouth to check for any blockage of the windpipe. He could've just used the Byakugan, but Gai-sensei had probably told him "no."_

_A previously light touch began pumping on her chest, and TenTen kept a silent count. 3... 4... 5... -10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3..._

_2..._

_One..._

_A mouth moved over hers and automatically blew twice, leaving a toothpaste taste different from her own as Neji pumped over her heart in perfect rhythm. His hands were cold, especially when his mouth was so warm... TenTen wanted to wriggle her toes just to move something instead of punching something, but Gai-sensei would inevitably notice and order something heinous. And it would be her fault, so she reminded herself to be limp, limp, limp-_

_He breathed for her again, twice, automatic, and short. TenTen fought down her instinct to apply pressure back, and could see why Lee had started fantasizing about the person he liked doing this..._

_But the person she liked..._

_Was about to go through the same thing as her, except with Lee._

_Mouth again, two breaths. She hated how helpless she had to feel._

_Neji was going to HATE this. And Lee was the one he was stuck with._

_TenTen struggled not to burst out laughing. Behind the mechanical rhythm on her chest, she could tell that Neji had felt the vibrations echoing in her ribcage._

Limp, limp, limp. I'm a fish, limp as a fish, with a fishy tail and fishy fins and fishy lips...

_Which Neji's were _not_, as he unknowingly proved for the fourth time. It had been about a minute, then. The only reason she had stopped was because she'd felt Lee kissing at her, but how long would it have actually gone on for..? And how long was __this__ going to go on for?_

_Neji was probably thinking the same thing, but she didn't dare pop an eye open and find out. So she sat there, in the dark, alternately having Neji's hands press her heart or his lips press against hers. What toothpaste was he using? Thank God she'd brushed before coming. Lee hadn't, and his mouth had reeked of a protein shake. Neji hated protein shakes._

_TenTen forced herself to continue being limp, and not laugh, resolving to study her teammate very carefully when Lee pulled a Prince Charming and she was laughing so hard inside! What if Lee started pretending that NEJI was Sakura? She'd mock them both about it when they were all in the retirement home!_

_And she suddenly understood just how uncomfortable Neji had to feel about this, and stayed utterly limp for the next minute, even when their mouths met--_

_"ALRIGHT!" Gai's voice exclaimed._

_TenTen's eyes shot open, only then registering that Neji's mouth was still perpendicular to her own. Through it she felt him startle, and forced down, once again, the urge to apply pressure back. Instead, she squeaked, and he rose as if nothing had happened and helped her sit up. His hands were still cold, but so was she since she was still wet and in a swim suit._

_She sat fully up, giving Neji another wry smile. To her relief, he smirked back as he and she stood, giving her a full look at a very hot Neji in swim trunks. She quickly averted her gaze to glare at Gai-sensei, who for some reason looked extremely proud of himself. Lee, too, and TenTen wasn't sure if she wanted to know why._

_"RIGHT!" Gai exclaimed. "Now Lee must practice CPR, and Neji must practice being a drowning victim!"_

_TenTen swore that she saw Neji twitch, then shudder. It only got worse when Lee got that fire burning in his eyes and Gai-sensei started giving him an unnecessary pep talk. Dear Lord TenTen sighed and looked back at Neji, who looked angry and resigned._

_"Do your best," TenTen beamed, patting him on the shoulder. Neji's head twitched toward her, startled. Wow, this was really getting to him. Perfectly understandable, really. Her smile turned more reassuring, this time, and it got him out of whatever that was because he turned cold. Oh, yeah, he hated feeling patronized, even now. She turned her smile apologetic, and he felt it even if he didn't see it. He turned almost imperceptibly less cold, but that ice wall went back up once Gai-sensei sucked in a fresh breath._

_"__**GO FORTH AND DROWN WELL!**__" Gai shouted with a full thumbs-up. Neji walked out, leaving TenTen to get a towel from her bag and dry off. She looked at his back, and the line of tension high in his muscles. When had Neji gotten so hot, again? He seemed to get even hotter by the day, even if TenTen never said anything. "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, TENTEN?"_

_"I'm thinking that we'll get sunburned if we stay out too long."_

_"NEVER FEAR!" Gai-sensei proclaimed. "I BROUGHT SUNSCREEN!"_

_"So did I, but sunscreen can only do so much."_

_"Have you put it on, yet?"_

_"No... I probably should."_

_"WAIT."_

_"...Why?"_

_"We shall be performing a sunscreen bonding exercise." ..._

_"A WHAT!?" TenTen threw a glance at Neji to see if he had heard, but he was already under._

_"OH, GAI-SENSEII, HOW AMAZING!"_

_"... I am going to kill you both..."_

_"GO FORTH, LEE, AND MAKE TO SAVE YOUR TEAMMATE!!!"_

_"HAI, GAI-SENSEII!!!" Lee shot off across the water to a poor, defenseless, underwater Neji, leaving TenTen with their clueless sensei._

_"You know, TenTen."_

_"Huh?" Why was he using normal speaking tones?_

_"You may think that I don't notice your and Neji's reactions to this and that, but I have noticed your feelings for him."_

_"WAIT, WHA-?!"_

_"So has Lee, and I challenge you to tell us that we are wrong."_

_"You-you're... yeahyou'reright..."_

_"Hm?"_

_"You're both right. I like Neji. Don't let him know, **please**."_

_"Love is but friendship stronger, TenTen."_

_"It's Neji. And, wait, 'love'?"_

_"And because it is Neji, I have made arrangements."_

_"...What arrangements?"_

_"Happy birthday, TenTen."_

_"Happy..?" TenTen's eyes widened, but before she could even curl her fist, Lee had exploded from the water, running toward shore and carrying Neji..._

_Bridal-style._

_"Gai-sensei."_

_"Yes?"_

_"As messed up as this is, thank you. Never do it again."_

_"-"_

_"I do have one question, though."_

_"Yes?"_

_"Am I allowed to laugh?"_

_"That probably wouldn't help Neji."_

_"Right... Can I laugh silently and make faces?"_

_"I was planning on doing the same."_

_Lee set Neji on the ground, the latter trying his hardest to tense, and failing rather miserably. Lee made a perfunctory job of checking for pulse, breathing, and blockage of the throat. Neji's brow twitched, and TenTen fought down a smile. Lee began pumping his wet chest, and soon bent down as the tension mounted... Neji's fingers twitched into a fist, face a grimace as Lee pulled back and TenTen's cheeks ballooned in stifled laughter. Neji still hated protein shakes._

_It wasn't as entertaining as TenTen had expected (and hoped, though she wouldn't tell Neji), and soon her poor teammate was sitting back up, vigorously wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. TenTen then realized that he had been the only one to do so. Neji then went to his bag and pulled out a bottle of water as Gai confirmed that Lee had done well._

_"Well, that's one ordeal done," TenTen smiled to Neji as he pulled out a bottle of mouthwash. lol "You expected this, ne?"_

_"Of course, knowing that idiotic sensei of ours." He then proceeded to empty nearly half the bottle, and TenTen allowed him a minute of peace before delivering her horrible news._

_"It's not over, yet."_

_Neji spat out his mouthwash early, staring at her in disbelief. "What?"_

_"He mentioned a..." TenTen searched for the words, finding none that weren't absolutely ridiculous._

_"He mentioned a what?"_

_"A--"_

_"**RIGHT!**" Gai exclaimed. "NEXT IS A SUNSCREEN BONDING RITUAL!"_

_"HELL NO!" Neji exclaimed right back._

_"He really was serious about it..." TenTen groaned._

_"YES! EVERYONE, GET YOUR SUNSCREEN!"_

_Reluctantly, the two did._

_"Neji," TenTen said, "I have decided."_

_"Hn?"_

_"He is trying to embarrass us to death."_

_"Of course he is."_

_"I think we're going to die."_

_"It's more than likely."_

_"YES! NOW, EVERYONE, TAKE A PARTNER AND SIT ACROSS! LEE, WITH ME!"_

_"YES, GAI-SENSEII!"_

_That made the partner pickings fairly obvious. TenTen sat across from a bare-chested Neji, trying not to notice this by fiddling with her tube of sun block. What would Gai-sensei do with sun block, at a beach setting, with swimsuits, if this was a less-than-veiled plot to aid her crush on Neji?_

_No._

_He couldn't._

_No way._

_"**YES!**" Gai-sensei announced. "WE SHALL NOW PROCEED WITH THE BONDING EXCERCISE OF SPREADING SUN LOTION ONTO OUR TEAMMATES!"_

_He had. TenTen slapped her own forehead, no more use in yelling at Gai-sensei, and looked up at Neji. He looked fairly incredulous, possibly uncomfortable._

_"LEARN EVERY CURVE OF YOUR TEAMMATE, EVERY MUSCLE!" This is in no way perverted whatsoever... "AND IF TO PROTECT EACH OTHER FROM THE RAYS OF THE SUN YOU MUST REMOVE SOME FABRIC--"_

**SA-MACK.**

_Maito Gai went flying over the treetops in the force of TenTen's punch, leaving his female student in the punch's aftermath pose and radiating bloody murder. Lee stared, amazed; Neji looked blank. TenTen rubbed her reddening fist._

_Neji chuckled, shoulders shaking with the effort of containing his laughter. "Now why might you be getting all of the punches today?"_

_"Because-"_

_"AH, HOW I LOVE YOUTH!" Gai cried, coming right back the way he'd come, in nothing but a green Speedo. TenTen shrieked, glaring from a safe distance behind Neji. Neji wasn't laughing anymore._

_......_

_TenTen fidgeted with the unfamiliar weight of Neji's sunscreen bottle. He was doing the same with hers, and both were trying to ignore what was going on next door oh God. Neji looked as extremely uncomfortable as TenTen felt. They had trained together almost every day, but this was just..._

_And on top of CPR._

_And TenTen knew why._

_"Well," she sighed, "we'd better do something or we'll burn."_

_"Hn. True."_

_"You don't have to be civil. This is ridiculous."_

_"What day of our lives isn't?"_

_"When our squad trains in separate pairs?"_

_"Heh."_

_Both had unconsciously squirted sun block into their hands. They looked at it, looked at each other, sighed, looked at Lee and Gai, looked away, and silently agreed to start at each other's shoulders. Neutral territory. No problem._

_Arms. No problem. Neck. No problem; they trusted each other. TenTen willed herself not to shiver as Neji's hands went over her skin, forced herself to maintain steady movements._

_Chest._

_Problem._

_Problem for both. Neji, there, hot, who she liked; TenTen, who had just _had_ to wear the full-cleavage halter._

_"Maybe if we just applied to ourselves quickly," TenTen suggested, "Gai-sensei and Lee won't see."_

_Neji nodded, looking relieved._

_Unfortunately, Gai-sensei saw, and vetoed._

_And so..._

"**TENTEN!**"

TenTen bolted up, roused from her memories, and whipped her head around before remembering. Defeat. Airport. Separation.

"TENTEN!" Lee called again, running and slamming into her in the mass-produced seat. "WE HAVE NOT BEEN SEPERATED YET! I AM STARTING TO BELIEVE IN NEJI'S 'FATE' THING, AFTERALL!"

"Le-Lee?!" TenTen shoved him back, but kept her hands on her shoulders. "Wha-what?! Did you escape, or-"

"No, no, I... We have the same flight... To think we are truly flying is unreal..."

"Oh..!" Then she saw Naruto, Sakura, and three unfamiliar people behind Lee. "I see."

Lee took the seat next to hers, and Naruto and Sakura sat across. Their captors, none of whom had been on the plane, sat down to flank them. They remained silent, merely looking less unhappy than the Konoha ninja--well, two. One had a full-face mask.

Nobody knew what to say.

"What about the others?" TenTen finally asked.

"They... had different flights," Sakura said. "Apparently, we're all going to different cities, but we have to go through some travel hub before we're fully on our own."

"I see..."

"Did she tell you where you're going?" Lee asked.

"No... You?"

"No. We aren't even supposed to know our person's name, yet."

"It's so that you can't find each other," Miss Guide explained. "I've never met these guys either, so even we don't know where anybody else is going. You'll be split after this flight, once we reach DFW." She sounded apologetic, but her words were too blunt. TenTen looked away from her, back to her friends.

"You seem to have gotten a nicer one," Lee said. "Her, I mean."

"What about yours?"

"Not as bad as Neji's."

"How bad is Ne-Neji's?"

"A drill sergeant, but Neji did not so much as flinch."

"It's Neji."

"This is true, indeed. Neji is still a genius."

"We'll _all _do fine, Lee."

"And it's not the end, either." Naruto had finally spoken. "This is just a temporary setback."

"Well, duh," Sakura smiled. "We're shinobi. We'll find each other."

"A-hem."

All four looked at Naruto's guard, a silver-haired man in what must have been a formal suit. His one visible eye was smirking.

"Forgive me for interrupting, but I'd like to show you two maps, to the same scale. This is the Land of Fire," he said, holding up an accurate map, "and this is the country that we're in, the United States of America."

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!" Naruto exclaimed.

_The difference is huge,_ TenTen realized.

"Also, this city right here, New York. It has a population of over 8.3 million."

"_People?!_"

"Yes. It's one of our larger cities. You _all_ go to big cities, by the way, spread over an area _much larger_ than your homeland. The needle is a splinter, and the haystack is a prairie."

"…And just what is the population of this nation?"

"According to the 2009 census, about 307 million."

Oh, crap.

Not even a combination of Neji's Byakugan, Kiba's nose, and Shino's bugs could guarantee results. Not even all five Kage, or the summoning of the Bijuu…

"Yeah?" Naruto snorted. "So _what_?"

"I believe that I have explained what."

"Well, I don't care. Millions? Billions? I don't care if it's _trillions_! None of us do! You can't keep Konoha shinobi down, or away from our home! And especially not from each other! Just you wait; this won't last forever."

That was _so_ Naruto; dorky, clichéd, and blabber mouthed as it was, it had that same effect of hope and courage it always had. Unless you were the creepy guy who wouldn't stop smirking.

"_My, my,_ what spunk you have. You remind me of Yugi-boy."

"_Who?_"

The creepy guy gave a creepy chuckle. "A… friend of mine."

Miss Guide let out something between a sigh and a snort.

Sakura tapped a rhythm on her seat arm, fidgeting. _'Naruto.'_ Morse code, then. _'Will you be ok with this guy?'_

'_Sure.'_ Now _Naruto_ was fidgeting. _'I'll knock him out ASAP n go find you.'_

'_Great. You're still a fool.'_

'_Sakura chaaaan…'_

'_Kidding. See you soon.'_

'_We're not apart ye—'_

"Would you _please_ stop with the Morse code?" Naruto's captor groaned.

Naruto and Lee's jaws dropped. Sakura glared, and TenTen slapped her own forehead.

"If you have something to say, say it for the whole group."

"I'm going to pound your face in at some point," Sakura stated with perfect calm.

Naruto sniggered, until his captor chuckled. Then, he glared.

Aubrey smirked. If she knew where this fic was going, Naruto was screwed. But, he would become scary good at a certain card game. Perhaps the Kyuubi would get a role. She wondered where the series was in this universe, anyway?

And then, there was Sakura's guardian, who made Aubrey want to burst out laughing. _Those guys_ taking custody of one of Konoha's ninja? Jeez, Ara… And without chakra, Sakura would have been more screwed than Naruto, especially if the Titans got wind of this. Their archenemy with a human weapon? Scary. (_If_ the Titans were still a superpower? Who _knew_ how much Ara had messed with? A lot.)

But the best was Lee's person. What anime still existed in this ficverse if _she_ was present? That he would wind up with the first villain of _that_ manga, the shojo that even non-otaku baka knew of. If Lee wound up running with the Sailor Scouts, Aubrey would have the giggles for a week. Minimum.

"Neji is already worried about you," Lee stated gently.

TenTen forced a laugh. "He would be."

"That guy?" Naruto asked. "He _worries_ about people?"

"Yes! TenTen is Neji's valued teammate! Why should we not worry about each other?"

"He just didn't seem like they type; that's all."

"That is because you do not know him," Lee explained. "Now, TenTen, she and Neji are training when there is no mission, always.

"You forgot to use the past tense." Naruto's captor wagged a finger.

Naruto hadn't heard. "You two are _always_ together?"

"_Naruto_…" Sakura knew that tone.

"Whaaaaat? I'm just thinkin' that it sounds like those two're—"

"THE MOST WONDERFUL OF YOUTHFUL COMRADES!!!" Lee exclaimed. "That we shall all be forced to spend time apart is too much for this youthful heart to bear, I—!"

"Lee," TenTen sighed, "just shut up."

"I was merely—"

"Shut up," Lee's captor snapped. Almost everyone jumped. The curly-haired, red-dressed woman had been silent until now, calmly filing her nails. "You're making a scene, Lee."

"My apologies, Guide-san, but I cannot remain silent as we talk about my teammates before we are separated."

TenTen groaned. "Manners even now." Sakura smiled, and Naruto just looked between them.

Sakura glanced at her own captor, the only one still silent and the third one in business attire.

Aubrey wished that Ara would stop titling those three "his captor"/"her captor." It was wordy, and by now most otaku could probably tell that Lee was being taken by Queen Beryl, Sakura was going off with Slade, and Naruto was stuck with Maxamillion Pegasus. Who was more doomed, who could really say? It depended mainly on how AU this world was.

"We will now begin by boarding flight 1332 Service to Dallas/Ft. Worth at Gate A-26," a loudspeaker announced. "At this time, we will call all first class passengers to board Flight 1332 service to DFW International Airport. Thank you."

"Well, that's us," Pegasus smiled. He and Slade rose fluidly, the latter silently beckoning his less-than-willing charge. In the face of her glare, they finally heard him chuckle. Which made TenTen's skin crawl.

"Fuzzy brows, TenTen." Naruto stood, facing his comrades. "See you on the other side."

"Yosh!" Lee sprung up in full salute, and TenTen nodded. Sakura waved, and then they were being whisked away, down a hall like the first, and around a corner. TenTen and Lee sank back down, clenching their fists and searching for words.

"So I'm not the _only_ one flying Business," Guide-san commented through perfect red lipstick.

"Oh, yeah, since Lee's with you," Miss Guide smiled. "I've never really seen the point of the extra cost, so I just went with Coach. I would've done it based on you all, but I had no idea who you'd be."

"Which would be the point. By the way, would you explain to me why you're here instead of an adult?"

"My mom had work," Miss Guide replied dryly.

Guide-san apparently didn't catch the tone. "And your father?"

"Oh, no," Miss Guide replied wryly. "He would've had too much luggage."

"For this?"

"For anything."

"What could he possibly need?"

"His coffin."

TenTen blinked. That could be taken one of two ways.

Guide-san laughed. "Are you telling me that your father is a vampire?"

"No, I am telling you that he is dead."

As the little light bulb went up, Miss Guide smirked. "I think that my fellow teens got it on the 'his coffin' line."

"At this time, we will be boarding the Second Class for flight 3132, service to DFW."

"And that's us."

"You _do_ know that one doesn't properly begin a sentence with a conjunction, right?"

"Good-bye, Miss Teenager. Come, Lee." Guide-san strode away, leaving Lee and TenTen to quickly hug before they were separated. TenTen watched her teammate wistfully, and he did the same until they got to the front of the line, Guide-san handed over their tickets, and they were gone after the others. Which left TenTen feeling incredibly alone.

"TenTen," Miss Guide sighed, "there's something that you should know before we board."

"_What_?" TenTen didn't even _look_ at her fellow brunette.

"Your teammate, the one named Neji."

TenTen looked at her then, showing no emotion. "What?"

"Look behind us."

Telling herself that Miss Guide was messing with her, TenTen's body turned anyway. She scanned the wall across, and stopped on two pale lavender eyes, eyes that had just seen her a moment before she had seen him. The warm spot that had been kindled from seeing Lee now glowed in her chest as Neji's eyes stayed with hers.

Aubrey scanned the ever-growing line, and the large number of people still waiting for Coach to be called. Lapis lazuli eyes fixed on the longing glowing from TenTen's face, and softened just a little more. She smiled.

"The line's long, and coach still has to be called." Miss Guide stretched to her feet. "Let's get this taken care of."

TenTen's jaw nearly dropped. Was this person an enemy or not? All the same, she and Miss Guide weaved past the crowd to a strangely blank Neji and a peeved-looking man.

"This is both inappropriate and unauthorized, Miss Guide."

"We're already here," Miss Guide replied coolly. "And an argument will waste time; we need to board in a minute."

"Then why would you even…"

Their charges weren't listening. They were too busy staring at each other, equally shocked to have met again so soon.

"Neji…" TenTen began. ["I…"] _Say it._

Neji grabbed her, holding her tight against his chest. TenTen squeaked in surprise, eyes widening at the sudden closeness and the amount of pride that had to have been swallowed for him to… She wrapped her arms around his back, squeezing to match his grip on her. His voice came low and soft in her ear, words only for her. ["I'm going to miss you, TenTen."]

She nearly broke then and there. ["I'm gonna miss you, too, Neji."]

"At this time, we will be boarding all sections for Flight 3132 service to DFW, Flight 3132 service to DFW, now boarding at Gate A-26."

"That's your flight," Richard coolly stated.

"There'll be a line, anyway," Aubrey replied.

This was one of the precious few times that TenTen was reminded of just how _warm_ Neji was, and she wished that it wasn't about to be cut so short. _Tell him_, the voice nagged. _No_. She wouldn't risk leaving in such an awkward situation. _Save it for the reunion._

His chin was on her head, and her head was on his chest. She looked down at the rarity of the sight of his bare, pale, but well-muscled arms, barely darker than his shirt. She could hear his heartbeat, which was strangely quick in her ears. She felt his breath on the crown of her head, his arms around her tight, the pressure of her necklace against her breastbone.

Miss Guide sighed. "I'm sorry, but you need to wrap it up."

Just a moment longer, they pressed even tighter before silently slipping apart. The cold air of the building rushed back on her, save her hands still joined to Neji's.

TenTen gave a strangled laugh. ["You know that we haven't been apart for more than a week in over four years?"]

Neji sighed and nodded. ["Yes. But it isn't as though Team Gai won't meet again, right?"]

TenTen's eyes widened in the face of his smirk. ["Neji, you..?"]

["Just how bored _were_ you on the plane, TenTen?"]

["Well, you and Lee weren't much company."]

"Hmph."

["Good luck, Neji."]

["Good luck, TenTen."]

_I love you…_

Their hands slipped apart. TenTen kept looking over her shoulder as her feet crossed the floor after Miss Guide, moved to the door to that narrow hall, and walked her down it. His eyes never left her. She gave him a small wave, he raised a hand to return it, a final look passed, and the hall turned to block him from view. She stopped looking back, even as that part of her died. Again.

......

In the instant that she had waved, gently clenching and unclenching her fingers, she had looked like a little girl, again. So much vulnerability, fear, and aloneness in those big, dark brown eyes. Neji had raised his hand to his shoulder, the closest that he could come to a wave, and she had looked past everything to him, in what had felt like the last time.

It had been the closest that they had come to forcing themselves to say, "Good-bye."

......

Miss Guide led TenTen past Naruto, past Sakura, past Lee, and to their seats. She let TenTen in first, so that she could sit by the window. She couldn't see Neji in the blacked-out airport panes, so she thought back to their final meeting. He had held her. She could still feel his arms around her and the power in their locked gazes. Neji, the glacier, had held her, without being asked.

Look at what it had taken to make that happen: the destruction and, worse, defeat of Konoha at the hands of this accursed nation, followed by the scattering of the survivors into said accursed nation.

And yet she still hadn't told him.

_Neji…_

TenTen gripped her necklace through her shirt, forcing back the tears.

_Good…b—Team Gai will DEFINITELY meet again._

She wouldn't think about it, wouldn't tell herself any form of farewell.

"We are now closing the cabin doors. Flight 3132, service to Dallas/Fort Worth, will now depart from San Francisco International Airport. Please buckle your seat belts and read over the safety briefing located in the back of _American Way_ magazine. The crew would like to thank you for choosing American Airlines, and would like to wish you a pleasant flight, wherever your travels take you."

End of chapter.

_Yes, I allowed them one last time together. I would also like to point out that Aubrey—yes, Miss Guide is Aubrey, see other fics for implications— could have, very easily, not mentioned anything to TenTen and they would have missed each other. Next chapter is going to involve still more good-byes, still more pain, and TenTen's new home. Review, please._

_Speaking of reviews, I would like to thank Angelwings228, andthenshesaid, Flames Chaos and Wolf, SilentlyDoomed, Toph43, and Shareth for taking the time to click the little button that says "review." The more feedback I can get, the better I can make this thing. Merci!_

_Oh, and somebody mentioned something about French characters... Where did that come from?_

_One more thing: Don't own _Yu-Gi-Oh!_, _Sailor Moon_, or _Teen Titans_. Expect crossovers in place of OCs, except for the Malgens. Who are the Malgens? I'll explain later._


	5. Immortality

_I do not own _Naruto_ or _Sailor Moon_. I do own "Miss Guide," though, and I'm doing my best to keep her from becoming a Mary Sue. If I mention her by name (real name), it's her POV. Otherwise, it's TenTen's. Have fun with that as I continue tearing everything apart._

_......_

The flight was a long one, and TenTen could only take so much of the scenery below, amazing as it was. Miss Guide had pulled out some device with two music-blaring ear pieces. She, meanwhile, had nothing to do and it _sucked_. She wanted to at least fidget, but she dared not expose her necklace.

"You don't have to hide it, you know," Miss Guide said quietly.

"Hide what?"

"Your necklace."

How?!

"The cord in the back ran up past your collar when you hugged. I'm not going to confiscate it, you know."

TenTen gave her the 'I don't trust you' look.

"It's important to you, then?"

Glare.

"Who gave it to you?"

Glare.

"Your teammates? Lee and Neji?"

"You have no right to say their names."

"True. But they did?"

_And Gai-sensei._

"…TenTen," Miss Guide sighed, gently but slowly more serious. "I apologize for not at least using honorifics, but that's not an American custom, and I'm not your enemy; I'm your housemate. At least until someone's fiendish plan comes to fruition. That could be months; it could be years. But even if I can't tell you my name until your friends can't track me, I want to be your friend. You're going to need to trust me."

She was serious. Wheels turned. TenTen wouldn't trust her, but if she _pretended_ to… She let her shoulders sag a little, but kept her glare as she slipped her necklace from her shirt and over it. Gold kanji and steel dragons caught in the light of the window. Miss Guide nodded thoughtfully and smiled softly.

"Seishun and Konjyou."

So she at least knew some Japanese. Good; the English that she _knew_ had been beamed into her brain by Mr. Annoying was just that. Annoying.

"'Youth' and 'Guts.' Interesting combo. Do they reflect aspects of you or your teammates?"

"Both."

"So was it a birthday present?"

"Yeah."

"How old are you, anyway?"

"Seventeen."

"A year my senior, then. Do you go for the sweet sixteen thing?"

"No."

"Then we're going to get along awesomely.

"Hn."

"Shutting up, then. After one more question."

"Hn?"

"Have you eaten, yet?"

"…No."

"Well, they'll feed us _something _on this flight, since it's so bleeping long."

"Hn." _'Bleeping'?_

_......_

One tiny lavatory and a row ahead, Lee was silently struggling not to laugh. TenTen was acting like Neji, and her opponent could do nothing but try to be polite. Truly amusing, indeed. Much more amusing than this person, to say the least. The things in her book were simply… Lee shuddered and kept his eyes away from the glossy paper.

"Excuse me?" a flight attendant asked.

"Yes?" Beryl looked up from the latest issue of _Cosmopolitan_.

"There's a slight weight imbalance in the plane, and I was wondering if your son would mind moving across the aisle?"

"…My…son?"

"Oh, I'm sorry; you two aren't together?"

"He's a foreign exchange student whom I'm escorting. But, no, he wouldn't mind."

"No, ma'am, I would not!" Lee enthusiastically took the aisle seat, and Miss Guide soon noticed. And smirked.

"TenTen," she said to the person he couldn't quite see.

"Hn?"

"Please switch seats with me."

"Why?"

"Trust me."

"…Hn."

Miss Guide stood and moved into the aisle, and TenTen followed. Miss Guide moved back in, and TenTen followed again, eyes never leaving a waving Lee. Except to flash Miss Guide a grateful (yet fake to knowing eyes) smile before returning her undivided attention to her teammate.

The flight was suddenly much less boring. TenTen and Lee laughed over funny stories, like the time that they had had to babysit and Neji got tackled by a swarm of five-year-olds. TenTen had shown Lee how to properly channel the kids' energy, and he'd run them into the ground. The kids had laughed all the way.

Or the time they'd had to help transplant various crops and Lee's eagerness had killed five root systems. How Neji had been able to apply Juuken and save all five was beyond the both of them, but according to TenTen he gardened.

Or the time they'd had to catch that poor cat, again. And every single time, Tora would run far, far away from Neji—who could never catch him, clawed that day or not—and would inevitably run into the arms of Rock Lee.

Who would then be so loud, kitty would flee to TenTen (who, for once, wouldn't be able to get support from Neji once Gai and Lee went off being Gai and Lee).

Aubrey smirked, listening discreetly. Every story was funny, and Lee almost inevitably ragged on Neji. In turn, TenTen inevitably ragged on Lee. Neji was there without being there. Ara was definitely playing that game, as if her intended audience wasn't enough of a hint.

"And then there's always the horrible combination of you and sake."

"Hmph! You have not had that, so you cannot talk!"

"Who said anything like that?"

"Well, of course you haven't had alcohol—" Lee finally caught her smirk. "TenTen…you…"

TenTen shrugged. "Dad and his formal parties. I'm already a Chunin, so…"

"But-but you..! So now you have seen the evils of sake as well!"

"It tastes bad."

"Yes! Yes it does!"

"Even after three cups, I still didn't get what the big deal was."

"Th-three?!"

"Yep."

Aubrey smirked again. TenTen was clearly just messing with Lee, even if she was telling the truth. But since Lee was Lee…

"That is amazing!"

"Shh…" Guide-san glared. As soon as she looked back at her magazines, Miss Guide twirled an invisible lock of hair around her ear. Lee sniggered and made a face. TenTen fought the urge to join in with the need to be mature. What would Neji say, otherwise?

…Neji wasn't here, now, was he? TenTen poked her nose up and crossed her eyes, instantly becoming an angel when Guide-san got suspicious. Lee fought down a new wave of giggles and Miss Guide beamed waaay too much like Kakashi.

TenTen frowned, realizing that she was letting Miss Guide really be her friend. She'd have to be more vigilant. But she wanted to spend time with Lee…

......

The flight went on, food included. The stewardess came had soon come by, asking what each person would like: Salisbury steak, spaghetti and meatballs, or vegetable lasagna.

"Ve-ge-tarian?" Lee asked.

"It means that I don't eat meat," Miss Guide said. "Salisbury steak is ground beef with seasonings and full-bodied sauce called gravy, and spaghetti is a noodle dish with a tomato sauce and ground meat formed into balls. Lasagna is a layered thing of noodle and cheese, same sauce as spaghetti."

"I would like the steak, please," Lee declared. TenTen reasoned away the thoughts she had of poison and ordered the spaghetti, and Miss Guide stayed true to her vegetarian-ness.

"Why do you not eat meat?" Lee asked, curious.

"Because I hate the mass-production methods of American meat companies."

"You're one of _those_ types?"

Although they couldn't see each other, Miss Guide knew that Guide-san was smirking. "Yes. And you're from _that_ type?"

"Yes, indeed."

"Am I missing something here?" Lee asked.

"You _do_ know that _Fast Food Nation_ isn't full of baloney, right?"

"Perhaps. But there's not much difference between baloney and manure."

"Ever been to a corporate slaughterhouse?"

"Of course not."

"Then you know not how small the difference truly is. What about a feedlot?"

"I'm not playing this game."

"Those animals—"

"Please stop there when we are about to eat."

"What better time is there?"

......

The spaghetti was good, and TenTen soon found herself poking at the beefball. It tasted okay, nothing like what she was used to, but Lee seemed to like his steak okay (although it wasn't really steak). The grumpo didn't seem to like his table manners, though. Neither had Neji, but Lee still never seemed to notice. TenTen sighed, wishing that she could get out and run alongside the plane for awhile.

"Not used to sitting for this long?" Miss Guide flipped a page in her book.

"Hn."

"But you don't really have anything to do, which probably doesn't help."

"Hn."

"But you may have to get used to it."

"_Hn?_" What was _that_ supposed to mean? They'd be doing this regularly?!

"Because you're going to be stuck in classrooms for five days a week."

"Hn?"

"We're going to be students?" Lee sounded surprised. But _excited_? How?!

"Yep. You see, I know that in-class education for you guys stops at age twelve, but for us the legal minimum is eighteen, and it can easily continue through your twenties."

"What!"

"I know. We place a high emphasis on education, here."

"So it appears," Lee murmured. "But that is, just… insane."

"I know. But that's just how it works, here. Even soldiers don't really start training until age eighteen. Maybe fourteen if they go to certain schools."

"We begin training as early as possible," Lee told her. "I started at age five."

"Same here."

"Nice."

"How are you so _calm_ about that?" Guide-san demanded.

"I am culturally mindful. Their culture suits the needs and challenges that they face, as does ours."

"But to be trained as a _soldier_, as a child! As a _five year old!_"

"Training the mind and body cannot start too soon," Lee insisted.

TenTen quickly jumped in. "We didn't start on assassinations or anything. Actually, we still hadn't done that as a squad when you guys showed up."

"You simply took it gradually," Miss Guide nodded thoughtfully.

"Pretty much. The Academy was the how-to, then we passed and were placed onto squads of three. Lee and I were teammates, and we started on the small stuff. Help out on a farm, find a missing cat. Then we'd escort low-ranking people, or defend a low-level target. And it steadily progresses, further and further."

"And before you know it," Guide-san told her, "you're killing."

"That's the path we chose."

"To defend our village, and the people in it," Lee affirmed.

"Even if we give our lives to do so."

"That is our nindo, our ninja way."

"You're _children_," Guide-san insisted, just a spot of tenderness in her voice. "You're just too _young_ to talk like that."

"You grow up fast as shinobi," TenTen replied. "Or even by simply living in a shinobi village."

"Do you realize what you're _saying_?"

"Yes. And that's exactly why I'm saying it."

"And if you ask any Konoha shinobi," Lee added, "you will get the same answer."

Aubrey smirked. _This is why I agreed to this nonsense._

Guide-san looked at the two with a mixture of disbelief and pity, and TenTen knew that she would never understand. She wasn't a horrible person; she just couldn't understand.

"Guide-san."

"Better call me 'Miss Guide' for now, or there may be awkwardness. What's up?"

"I do not recall ever speaking this language before, so how are we doing so?"

"You finally asked."

Guide-san coughed conspicuously.

"Was there any point where you were all unconscious simultaneously? All twelve of you?"

TenTen racked her brain. Twice for her, and she knew where this was going… "I can't confirm the other teams, but there was a point where Neji and Lee were, and I 'fell asleep' along with them."

"Helping hand from someone?"

"More than likely."

"It would've been then. That's when all of you had English planted into your brains."

"YOU CAN DO THAT?!"

"I'm not the one who did it."

"Dojutsu-yarou…"

"Well, it wouldn't make sense for 'foreign exchange students' to come here unable to speak English."

"That's not the point," TenTen snapped.

God, she was going to die here. Whether from pain or frustration, she wasn't sure.

......

They were going separately from here, which sucked.

"Fuzzy brows, TenTen." Naruto faced them with all of the seriousness at his disposal. "Good luck."

"We'll see you again," Sakura added. TenTen shook her hand as Lee grabbed her in a hug before going to full attention. Naruto saluted back, and then they were being wisked away on a strange moving contraption. That left TenTen and Lee, to go only to the end of the hall before saying their own good-byes that they refused to say.

TenTen faced him, unsure of what to say. This was seriously it…

"YOSH! GO FORTH, TENTEN, WITH THE POWER OF **YOUTH!!!**"

"Good luck to you, too, Lee," TenTen replied calmly. Not a mask, just the way that she dealt with a lot of his outbursts. He caught her in a hug. Not an embrace, like Neji's; a tearful, bone-breaking hug of friendship and Youth.

"Be strong, TenTen."

"Be sane, Lee."

No mention of 'good-bye,' 'farewell,' etc. They went in different ways, soon separated by the ever-present crowd.

TenTen hated how every not-bye made the next one somehow easier.

End of chapter.

......

_I'm trying to make the impossibility of their not-surrender at least somewhat more realistic, impossible as this obviously is. Next chapter is going to involve fast food, Miss Guide's mom, and horseless carriages. Review, please. _


	6. Survive

_And thus comes chapter six, and the start of TenTen's official separation from everyone she's ever known. I do not own _Naruto_. There's a very good reason for that. Perhaps because I made Konoha lose to America? Oh, and I re-uploaded to change the Malgen-mobile. If this is your first time reading, you'll understand later._

"We need to get to Terminal B." As they walked along part of a veritable market on the left and terminal on the right, TenTen's eyes scanned everything with shinobi eyes. "Let me know if you get hungry; airplane meals aren't known for huge portions."

"Hn."

"We also have an hour and a half until our flight."

"Hn."

"Not that bad a layover, actually."

"Ah."

"Hey, something other than 'Hn'."

"Hn."

"So what was Konoha like?"

"Hn."

"You _ate __**live cats**_ and had nightly _**panty**__ raids?_"

"HOW THE HECK DO YOU GET THAT FROM 'HN'?"

"I don't, but at least you're not speaking in monosyllables."

TenTen's mouth formed an "O" with the realization that she'd been tricked. "Hn."

"So what's Neji like?"

No _way_ would she let Miss Guide—Aubrey, now— "misconstrue" what Neji was like. "Smart, calm, and an amazing fighter."

"Who you trained with everyday?"

"Hn."

"And you kissed regularly?"

"NO!"

"Still monosyllabic, but better than 'hn'."

"He's my _best friend_, okay? My best friend and comrade."

"I see. My apologies for crossing the wrong line."

"…"

"I'm simply trying to—"

"I know. But you know why I can't trust you."

"Yeah. Maybe that'll change?"

"Hn."

"Hn?"

"Hn."

"Hnnnnnn?"

TenTen's mouth twitched. "Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn hnn!" (Mario laugh)

"Hn?"

"Hn-hn-hn-hn-hnhnnn..."*1

"You don't 'hn' to a song."

"Not a song."

"Still."

"I meddle often, with the strangest excuses."

"Hn." Who had that reminded her of..?

"Ever been on a train, before?"

"No."

"Then you've never been on a monorail, either?"

"No. Why?"

"We need to get to Terminal B."

The current hall was a single, clearly defined room with the same high ceilings, several posters, and three walls of windows. Above the lengthwise ones, which were regularly broken by walls, screens were flashing a countdown. At the ten mark, something whooshed past the windows and gradually slowed. The windows—doors—slid open, revealing groups of people quickly exiting.

"C'mon." Aubrey led TenTen aboard the "_monorail"_ and took yet another mass-produced seat.

What was it with this country and mass-production? Perhaps because it was so huge? Perhaps that was _how_ it was so huge. And it _was_ huge. Given the speed at which they'd passed over whole mountain ranges, the size comparison between the Land of Fire and America, the dispersion of major cities, and the time that had passed, the Shinobi of Konoha were all but beyond each other's reach.

She had felt Neji getting farther and farther away since that final embrace, and now it was the same for Lee. And it hurt. It was this chill over her heart and this blizzard in her stomach and the nagging prick at her eyes. Did the others feel this, too?

_Neji._

If she wanted to see him again, she would have to be strong, no matter how much it hurt to let them all slip away.

She felt a hand on her trembling shoulders. She looked at it, and followed the arm to Aubrey and her ever-sympathetic eyes.

"Talking will make you feel better."

TenTen snorted. How many times had she told that same thing to Neji, and how many times had he given the same monosyllabic response now used by her? "Hn."

"I heard a la~augh…"

"Hn."

Aubrey sighed, again. "Fine, but I'll go ahead and warn you. There are two weeks before we start at school. In that time, you will be taught as much as possible about this bloody place, and the sooner you start talking, the more time you'll have to learn."

"'Bloody'?"

"A curse word in Britain."

"'Britain'."

"Another country, the one that founded America as colonies before yea colonists broke away to make this an independent nation."

"Ah. So this is a nation that rose from enslavement to enslave others."

"Under the premise of the greater good."

"Ah… But isn't this _your_ country?"

"Something that you'll quickly learn about America and its citizens: if we're unhappy about something, we'll say it. And if someone else doesn't like our message, we'll say it all the more. With a megaphone."

"Isn't that insubordination?"

"Possibly, but here it's called 'democracy'. Do you know what a democracy is?"

"No."

"Republic?"

"No."

"Well, America is a Republic. Those who call it a 'democracy' are misinformed. In a democracy, everyone votes on everything to come to a decision. In a republic, a representative for a certain area is elected to lead by the citizens. That's what we have; representatives elected for a certain amount of time, and who have to do a good job. If we don't like them, we elect someone else the next time. 2 to 4 years later, normally."

"Huh. That's… different."

"For you. And the American Republic _was_ the first to experiment like this. They based it off of several ancient cultures and the shortcomings of their parent nation's government, but still."

"And the experiment succeeded."

"Yep. Case in point, you are here."

"Unfortunately."

"Mm-hmm."

"Wait… _you_ agree that this is unfortunate?"

"Your situation and the degree of it? Of course; why'd you think that I agreed to be a guide?"

"You..!"

"I'm not allowed to _help_ you, or anything, but I do sympathize."

"Hn."

"Sorry. And there's something that you need to understand."

"Hn?"

"The ones doing this. The policy-makers. They think that they're doing something good. The world's major powers often step in to help impoverished and war-torn nations. You guys just got lumped in with those."

TenTen swallowed her outrage only with the last sentence.

"In places like certain parts of Africa, child soldiers are kids taken from their families and force to fight, pumped with drugs and pushed into aggression, even to kill their own. It's nothing like your system, but once again, that's what you got lumped in with. Sucks, ne?"

"Yes," TenTen growled. "Yes, it does. And it doesn't just 'suck'. It's so wrong that I don't even know where to start. The fact that we're all separated, the fact that my country's being subjugated, or the fact that it's all because of a Goddamn fucking shitty _misunderstanding from __**Hell**__._"

"Uhh, Ten-chan?"

TenTen was too pissed to deal with the nickname. "_What?_"

"This is a public place."

"And?"

"Cursing is rude."

Everyone was staring.

TenTen gave an "I'll rip your head off"-sweet smile that made everyone turn away.

Aubrey sniggered. "Crowd control no jutsu?"

TenTen chuckled, despite herself. Perhaps she and Aubrey _would_ get along, after all. "Hn."

["Would you rather speak in Japanese?"]

"Hai."

["Sure, then. So, where to continue?"]

["What goes into being a student, here?"]

["Well, I'll start with our system. People are raised to be civilians, and the mandatory education period runs from ages 6 through 13, although going through age 18 is all but a necessity and most start earlier and go later. Education is a major thing here, almost ridiculously so if it weren't so necessary. So from ages 6 to 10, there's Elementary school. Reading, writing, basic math, etc. We call this grades 1 through 5."]

TenTen nodded. Konoha's system did the same, just quicker.

["Middle school is roughly ages 11 through 13, or grades 6 through 8. Everyone's going through puberty, starting to figure out individuality, and making their classmate's lives Hell. The curriculum is more advanced than elementary school, but not too crazy in most places. In your system, this is the last of your in-school education, right?"]

"Hai."

["And after that, the apprentice-esque Genin squads for you, right?"]

["Yes, but how do you know that?"]

["I was researching you guys before America. Education systems are rarely classified info."]

"…" TenTen watched this girl, her own age, _very_ carefully. ["How long and how in-depth?"]

["A year or so, and I couldn't get as much as I would have liked."]

"Hn."

["But I haven't gotten to our own schooling level, yet."]

"Hn."

"[Ages 14 to 18, grades 9-12, are called high school. It's more of the same, only with bigger classes, a harder curriculum, and usually more diversity. The grades even have official names: freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior. We'll both be 11th graders, juniors, and have the most legendarily heavy workload of any single one."]

["Fun,"] TenTen said as dryly as Neji.

["We also have more amusing teachers in the higher levels. Same for you?"]

Iruka versus Maito Gai. "…Hai."

["Something to share?"]

"…"

The doors slid open, and Aubrey and TenTen filed out.

"You know it's not as fun if I do all the talking," Aubrey prodded.

"Hn… True."

"So what were your sensei like?"

More of the giant, endless market-hall. The only difference was the gate numbers. "Iruka-sensei was the guy born to teach kids. Normal, patient, stern when provoked, fair, and kind. He got pranked a lot."

Aubrey sniggered. "Nice. Who was your Jōnin?"

"Gai-sensei wears green spandex and orange leg warmers. His vest is always undone; he has a bowl cut, a blinding smile, and huge eyebrows that seemed almost alive."

"Dot, dot, dot…" Aubrey raised an eyebrow, almost exactly the way Neji had upon first seeing him. "Is he related to Lee, by chance?"

"No, Lee just idolizes him."

"And the 'youth' thing?"

"Yep. But crazy as those two are, they're strong. And if they weren't so insane, Neji and I wouldn't have become such close friends."

"Sanity life raft for two?"

"Pretty much."

"Then you'll love the Group."

"'The Group'?"

"My friends at school. We're known as the Insane Group."

"…"

"Don't worry; it'll be fun."

"What else do you think is fun?"

"Sparring, working with animals, cooking, etc. You?"

"Missions, training with Team Gai, cooking, etc."

"Was that last bit sarcasm?"

"No, I really do love to cook."

"Cook what?"

"Chinese. My family's from China, so my stuff's a bit different from the norm."

"I'm from Louisiana. We took the norm and chucked it out the window." I'm not biased, at all.

"From _where_?"

"Louisiana. It's a relatively small state, province, whatever, in the Southern U.S. Very unique culture, my home, and where we're going."

"Oh. …Do I smell soy sauce?"

"Oh yeah, it's the Food Court."

"The _what_?" _Putting food on trial..?_ Funny images with Gai and Lee… And Neji dressed as a rice ball.

"I'll show you. We have time."

A bunch of… food smells got stronger and stronger as Aubrey led TenTen further through the place. They went through a doorless space to find… a bunch of food stands, built into the oblong walls. "Oh." _Food!_

"There are few ways to better describe a nation than through its food. Take that McDonalds, and that Burger King. They all sell 'American food' at its most charismatic. Burgers, fries, chicken nuggets or tenders, all inexpensive and mass-produced far, far away. Then there's Sbarro's, Italian-American like the spaghetti you had. Pizza, garlic bread, etc. Panda Express, with the Chinese-American food that you smelled."

"Chinese-_American_?"

"America is the land of immigrants. When this continent was 'discovered' by the folks across the ocean, people from all over the world flocked over here over time for a chance at a new life. They brought their cultures with them, fitted them to the new land, and spawned the Homeland-American ways that we have now. Italian-American, Chinese-American, Mexican-American—she pointed a Taco Bell—etc. Fun, ne?"

All of this was accompanied by informative, sometimes elaborate, and occasionally hilarious gestures with subjects ranging from the restaurants to someone's plate (if they even _had_ a plate). And the food looked weird, but her last meal hadn't been nearly enough…

"Hungry?"

"Ehehe… Yeah." _Shut up, stomach!_

"I'd volunteer my wallet for lunch, but Mom's got dinner on the stove, and _trust me_, you won't mind having to wait. Can you wait?"

Hello. TenTen was a soldier. "How long?"

"Two and a half, three hours at max."

"That's it?"

Aubrey explained a lot as they went from lunch to "gate" to plane. More American history, what happened after high school, what most Americans did for fun, what most Americans supposedly did for fun (which were two completely different things), why Aubrey wasn't most Americans (by either definitions), who the Hell Britney Spears and Kanye West were, and the meaning of the word "douche-bag."

TenTen should have been mentally exhausted, but Aubrey's teaching methods made it… fun. Was this an effect of the same thing that implanted language, or was Aubrey just that good? She'd have to be, to be doing this job, never mind having TenTen laughing at jokes that she shouldn't have even gotten.

"Welcome to Shreveport Regional Airport; please keep your seatbelts fastened…"

Aubrey flapped her hand as if it was some possessed, yacking bird, a sure sign that she was used to this mode of transportation. Which was crazy; a culture used to _flying_ everywhere. Her guide pulled out something made of sleek black metal, smaller than her hand, and unfolded it with a flick of her thumb. She hit a number key and another with a weird green symbol, then put it up to her ear. Wait… was that some kind of communicator?

"Hello, Mother. Yes, we just arrived at the gate. Coolness, see you downstairs. Bye." Aubrey gently closed the thing and put it back in her purse while telling her, "My mother will pick us up downstairs."

"Downstairs?"

"Planes are so big, we disembark onto the second floor, and pick up baggage and buy tickets on the first floor. We have no baggage, but still."

"It's not an international airport, just regional."

That explained the overall lack of people. No bustling businesses save one stand, a gift shop, and one restaurant; quieter, with carpet instead of tiling; paintings on the walls. TenTen liked this place better. Pass the security station, and…

The stairs were _moving_.

"It's called an escalator," Aubrey explained. "Don't worry; it's safe."

TenTen gripped the moving rail, only to be pulled forward onto a short platform. That _moved_, pulling her further forward and down as the flat surface formed stairs. Aubrey kept a hand on her shoulder for support, explaining when to walk off and leading the way. Out the self-sliding doors… and into a hot, humid hell. Baked in the front, and chilled by the interior, TenTen actually found herself _missing_ that building. And then there was the shimmering sight before her.

"What are those?"

"Cars. Like horseless carriages, but don't let anyone hear you call it that."

"Oh…" Carriages didn't have this diversity. Huge ones, small ones, some more like wagons with the flat area in the back and one that she had seen on the battlefield. Just… better camouflaged than this one. "I thought you said that everyone's a civilian, here."

"Well, we do have a military base—Air Force, planes—across the river."

"That's not a plane."

"Ah, no; not military, either. Hummer H2's are the crappy civilian versions of a military vehicle."

"Ah."

"A lot of our military stuff eventually gets marketed to civilians. The culture's very buy-sell."

"I've noticed."

"Hey, there's the Malgen-mobile."

"The what?" TenTen let Aubrey lead her down the row of cars, shirt quickly sticking to her heating body, apparently to a… what?

"The original and official name of the car is the automobile, meaning 'self-moving'. In naming an individual car, like a katana, it's fun to replace 'auto' with a name. In this case, my family name, 'Malgen'. And thus, the Malgen-mobile."

It was blue. Ocean blue, with silver undertones, a bit boxy and higher-set than some of the others. Not a full Hummer, but tougher; more rugged-looking. A young woman, Aubrey in a decade or two, stood on the far side, leaning on pale arms crossed over the hood.

"TenTen, this is my mother, Christiana Malgen. Mother, this is TenTen."

TenTen noticed two things. First of all, personal names came before family names in America. Second, it still seemed that nobody knew that her clan name was Ming.

"Hello, TenTen. Welcome to America. You're sick of hearing that, huh?"

Same as Aubrey. TenTen allowed a smile. "Hai, Malgen-san. Thank you, anyway."

"Well then, let's get the Hell out of here. Malgen House awaits!"

…What?

"Shotgun," Aubrey called.

"…What?"

"It means that I get to sit up front." Aubrey then slipped her hand into a grove in the side of the Malgen-mobile and pulled up. There was a door there. Huh. Aubrey opened another before the first and stepped up to sit down into some low chair, swinging her legs inside and pointing for TenTen to follow. She complied, and copied Aubrey to close the door.

"Buckle up or else," Malgen-san called cheerfully.

…What?

Aubrey reached back over the ridiculously high-backed chair, grabbed an ornamented cloth strip, and pulled it over TenTen's torso. The ornament clicked into something beside her, and the whole thing pulled her deeper into the cloth.

"For safety," Aubrey explained before pulling another over herself. "Seat belts are useful, indeed."

So this was a seatbelt. It was annoying.

And we are OUTTA HERE!" Malgen-san clicked on some blaring racket about surviving, she twisted a wheel, and the car _moved_. A lot. TenTen clutched at her seat as the car turned along a road, pausing only at a toll both before gaining speed faster and faster until they reached… the biggest bridge that TenTen had ever seen. And as she looked out the front window, she realized

This was a road. (?)

This was how/why America had a population in the hundreds of millions.

Finding her comrades was going to be a nightmare.

This thing was faster than Lee!

"So what do you think so far?" Malgen-san asked.

"Do you want me to be honest?"

"That tends to be the best policy."

"I hate America and I want to go home."

"Well, duh."

…Had… Malgen-san just said… "duh"?

"And we're working on it, Ten-chan, even if Aubrey can only now speak freely."

"…Nani?"

"Ugh, I hate wearing my hair down to look less threatening," Aubrey sighed. She looked back at TenTen without her glasses (she had one of the silver temple arms between her teeth), and she was pulling her hair back…

No way.

Not into that thing pressed against the back of her neck, but into a spiky ponytail skewed to the side, and not even silver, but it was _back_, period, and the glasses were gone, and even if TenTen had never seen her face back in Konoha…

A silver armband, the ends of which spun into a short spiral without touching, formed high on her left arm. Almond eyes met lapis lazuli. The chakra badge unscrolled.

"Peace Corps Officer Anoh-Miolryuu. I am on orders to secretly aid Konoha shinobi in reuniting and returning to the Land of Fire, while posing as a proponent of American policy and jailer of one kunoichi TenTen."

"…You have got… TO BE KIDDING ME!"

End of chapter.

_Yes, I went there; Aubrey is that Peace Corps Officer from Chapter Two, Anoh Miolryuu. Didn't you wonder where she'd vanished to in the flashback? Find out next time, which is going to involve psycho driving, dragons, and TenTen's new home. Review, please._

_Also:_

_*1: No idea what she was hnning? (Doo-doo-de-do-dodooo, chaaarge!) (Kamikaze watermelon theme song.)_

_*2: Lapis lazuli: a dark blue stone of varying quality and value, the latter of which is in my class ring. Still dunno, Wikipedia it._

_PS: I will be using actual places that I have been to around my hometown area, so the location descriptions from here on in—airports included— will be as accurate as I can make them. Authenticity is something that I prefer to shoot for whenever possible, especially since it allows for that many more options in my stories. Oh, and a couple of review replies; if you reviewed you know who you are._

_The "weight imbalance" thing wasn't because Lee weighs so much; stewardesses often have to move passengers back and forth across the aisle, so that the combined weight on each side levels out. While this is normally done __**before**__ the plane is airborne, it is not unheard of for the seat change request to be made in mid-flight. Also, with regards to manga in this world: the series that I am borrowing characters from will not exist in this world, but those not mentioned do. A world without anime is just a big NO, and this is most likely why _Bleach _and _BioMeat_ won't be featuring characters (among many others). Aubrey only knows about the characters' true origins because I often use her in my stories, and she is fully aware that she is an OC; thus she is genre-savvy, often a guide character, and able to hear the author notes (e.g. Haha I torture manga characters). She will do her best to stay in-character, though. _


	7. Welcome to the Jungle

_Welcome to Malgen House. Still don't own _Naruto_._

"The American government has a lot of cloudcuckoolander—loonybird—plans living in its basement, and most of them the general public neither needs to nor probably wants to know about. The interference with the shinobi world _should_ have been disbanded with the recent change in our highest official—elections, you know—but, no, apparently not. That was when I went over to try and help out as I could.

So much for that idea; the Peace Corps' enemies over here launched some fiendish plot that got me stuck back home—you may not want to know about that, either—so now we're stuck with this mess. I'm sorry that I couldn't let you know sooner, but we were being watched from 'Hello, my name is Aubrey' to 'And we are OUTTA here.' And I apologize for not being able to stay the whole way through, and that you have been dragged here, period. I hope that you can trust or at least work with me."

TenTen wasn't sure which was more impressive: Aubrey's story, or the fact that she could present it so calmly with her mother's DRIVING OF DOOM!

Twisting highway in the middle of some forest, WAY too fast, and a song that featured the words "highway to hell" seemed to signal some horrible demise for the kunoichi, who already had enough on her plate. Like the proverbial can of worms.

**Another psycho turn!!!** TenTen clutched the hollow in the door's armrest all the more, wishing that she could open the door and dreading her success in doing so. Ironically, she was gripping the handle used to pull the door _closed_.

_Shinobi don't show fear my ass!_ TenTen thought treacherously. _This crazy lady's trying to kill us!_

"There's a cow in the road!"

But if they hit such a big animal at this speed—!

SWERVE!

TenTen caught a brief glimpse of a cow with a face-fault before being thrown, again. Malgen-san's war whoops weren't helping, at all, nor was Aubrey's calmness. She really trusted this psycho of a mother with her own life, while TenTen had absolutely no control of her own should they crash? Could one possibly get used to such helplessness, and such a crazy driver?

In the space of twenty hellish minutes, TenTen had already developed a deep love of seatbelts.

"Just so that you know," Aubrey said, "most moms aren't like mine. They're not as fun."

"So you have the cool mom?" Neji would have been proud of the dryness of her tone.

"Pretty much. Oh, you've met Casclu, right?"

A small, legged serpent with a crocodilian head, spiny wings, and a barbed tail—a black and blue dragon—looked over the headrest, lapis talons somehow not puncturing the cloth. She nodded her countershaded head (black above, blue jaw) in silent greeting, and TenTen nodded back.

"You called her your halae, right?"

"Yep. My little demon partner."

A witch and a demon, even closer to magic than shinobi, in a nation ruled and driven by technology. Ouch.

"What about you, Malgen-san?"

"I'm not a witch, so I don't have one."

"Oh, so it was through the father—"

"No, the genes came through me. But witches—Lisrelsil—are souls who reincarnate with their memories and accumulated power intact. That would be Anoh. Aubrey."

"…Oh." That was rather crazy.

"But, no, I look nothing like my father," Aubrey said. "And he never did anything for us, anyway, besides provide the other half."

"…_Oh_… Go-gomenasai."

"It's fine; you may as well know. And here's Malgen House." The speed was dropping. Phew…

**Oh.**

It was on a scale that TenTen rarely saw. Three stories, beautiful in a style incredibly foreign. Pale blue, columns ran from the roof, over the second-floor wrap-around balcony and first-floor porch. It looked old and proud, made even more so by the high-crowned, ancient and strong trees that stood over the property.

"It's an ancestral house," Aubrey explained. "Most houses of the era have fallen into disrepair or become museums. Ours the family held onto, even without all of the land."

The girl had a fond look in her eyes; she'd probably lived here for most of its life, if her story was true.

"Oh."

"C'mon; I'll show you your room."

Past the swings, ropes easily two stories tall; up three gray brick stairs; past the cool shade of the porch... They had left the door unlocked.

"Pity the unsuspecting burglar," Malgen-san winked, stepping inside. TenTen followed her somewhat reluctantly, listening for intruders and an ambush. There was a hardwood staircase sweeping along her left, no sign of movement along its rug; the Malgens were leading her into… a den. Black velvet couch, rug, fireplace… and a warm, meaty smell that was somehow simultaneously foreign and homey. No sounds other than the Malgens… did she smell shrimp?

"I smell gumbo," Aubrey smiled, smelling that rich, spicy, herby, meaty smell.

TenTen heard the whirr of a gas pilot light. "Who's watching the stove?"

"Samantra," Malgen-san called.

"Someone else for you to meet. This calls for a detour…"

Woof! Woof!

A black and brown dog, huge and sleek, bounded past a black velvet recliner to dive… Why did dogs instinctively go there?! Sniffsniffsniffsniffsniffsni--!

"Deirdre," Aubrey said. The dog stopped sniffing between TenTen's legs, and went to sit beside Aubrey like a statue. "Thanks. TenTen, this is Deirdre. She's a Doberman, but really sweet all the same."

By this point, she was rubbing the belly of yea prone, leg-kicking dog. And here TenTen had thought she was a cat person.

FlapflapWHOOSH!! Something flew by overhead, a black blur out a window…to the kitchen. What? And in that window, she could see the stove, with a huge cast-iron pot steaming away…

With a sparrow-sized, strange green dragon flapping away, holding a wooden spoon with all five limbs as she slowly stirred the pot's contents.

"She's European," Aubrey explained.

"Which means?"

"She's a different type of dragon than what you're used to."

"Ah."

"Hey, Samantra," Aubrey smiled, walking around the wall into the kitchen.

The dragon's head turned in a half-circle, reptilian yellow eyes watching them enter. She waved, then paused when she saw TenTen. "This one is new."

How could something so scaly have such a musical voice?

"TenTen's our 'foreign exchange student'." Air quotes included.

"TenTen..hmm… I welcome you on behalf of the Shad-qualae."

"Thank you…the what?"

"The House Guardian Spirits," Aubrey explained.

"YOU are not in charge, SA-MMY~!" someone called. A dull red blur dove into the kitchen, almost falling into the pot to stop. Another dragon, almost Samantra's twin save for the color…perhaps a bit more heavily built, and with a more annoying voice. "Who're you?"

"TenTen."

"Twenty?"

"TenTen." How else could she respond?

"Heaven squared?"

"Doubled, actually," Samantra told him.

"Nobody asked you!"

"My name is TenTen."

"TenTen."

"Yes."

"Huh. Weird name."

"Not as weird as _Zathrus_," Samantra stated, calmly stirring all the while.

"Whaaat was that?"

"Zath, please leave Sam alone," Malgen-san smiled. "She's helping me out, after all."

"Aww…" Zathrus' wings drooped, so that he was just _floating_ there. _Floating._ It was quite a comical scene, even if TenTen would hate to face bigger versions. Hard, beaked snouts; bony crests; dagger teeth and claws; armored hides like terracotta soldiers; spear-sharp tail barbs.

"It serves you right," another voice, female, stated. This one had a slight accent and belonged to a dragoness who was a dull… turquoise.

"Shaddup, Meranelle," Zathrus huffed, arms crossed.

"And if I refuse?" She gently swooped low, playfully blowing flames at Zathrus' rump.

"HEY!"

"Hmm?"

A firefight broke out between the two; all the while, Samantra calmly stirred, clearly ignoring the both of them.

"Uhmmm…"

"Don't worry; this is normal," Aubrey smiled.

"Oh."

Kaw! Kaw!

"AAH!" Zathrus cried. "Fala's divebombing us!" A huge black raven almost seemed to smirk as she perched atop the cabinets and surveyed the startled faces of dragon and newcomer.

"Calm down, Zath," Aubrey smiled.

"You always say that," "Zath" moaned, crying chibi tears.

"Alright, that's enough," Malgen-san smiled. Dinner's in ten, so why don't you show TenTen upstairs?"

"Alright." Aubrey tugged on TenTen's sleeve and motioned her to follow. TenTen nodded, letting herself be led back through the den, up a richly carved stairwell, down a matching light blue hall, past a door, and into…

A bedroom. With a bed _set_ into the wall –if not carved straight from it—on her left, with a door that must have been a closet by the foot. Dark wood furniture and high windows opening onto that porch, matching floorboards and a soft-looking rug radiating from the middle. Above it, a leaf-patterned fan turned lazily from a rippled blue ceiling. It looked more expensive than her whole apartment in Konoha.

"Wow. This is..?"

"Your room. The closet and drawers are empty, but we'll fix that, tomorrow."

"Aubrey…" There was no way out of this. "Thank you, I…"

"Southern hospitality; don't worry about it. We take good care of our guests, and besides, you'll need to be comfortable. You'll be here for awhile."

"I thought that you were on our side."

"I am, but this is a mission that affords no error. If I let them suspect anything before we have all of you together, it's game over. You're not here because of a misguided wife or an accident. None of you are."

"Then why _are_ we here?" Shinobi sense tingling…

"We'll discuss it during the mission briefing following dinner."

"…We're in shit that deep?"

"Deeper than you know." Aubrey glanced at her watch. "Five more minutes. Feel free to explore the room. And if you need me…" Aubrey walked farther down the hall, graceful as a cat. "I'm two doors down."

"Understood." The girls entered their respective room, and TenTen leaned against her door with a heavy sigh. The girl brought her knees into her chest, a rest for her forehead as she fought down the urge to cry. What was wrong with her?! She was just accepting it all so easily; she should have gone down kunai barred before being separated from the others, not willingly walk away from Neji to follow an enemy's heels. She shouldn't have let herself trust Aubrey so easily, or slip into the role she was now in.

_What is wrong with me..?_

Taktaktak

TenTen's head shot up. She wasn't alone in here.

Shfff…

Pop!

A weasel?! TenTen started at the little black face suddenly in hers as it rested its forepaws on her knees. It was sniffing at her nose, watching her with bright and curious eyes.

TenTen finally remembered to blink, and it cocked its head in response. It sniffed closer and closer, then bumped its head on her chin. She pulled back; it cocked its head again. She gently reached for its head. It sniffed her fingers before head-butting them.

TenTen felt her lips smile as her fingers stroked the soft little head. Its fur was like silk… The creature yawned, showing some scary teeth that _seriously_ didn't match that face, ivory gleaming on velvet. It then shot off onto the rug, and OHGODITWASATTACKING!

It was leaping in wild half-circles, snarling and showing its savage teeth. And TenTen didn't have a single kunai! And it had seemed so sweet seconds ago and now she'd probably get rabies—

"TenTen?" Aubrey called through the door with a knock. "Dinner's ready—"

TenTen flung the door open, stepping out into Aubrey's surprised face and pointing at THAT.

"Hm? Oh, you've met Kamaka. And she's doing her war dance."

"How are you so calm about that?"

"It's just her way of asking you to play with her. Don't speak Ferret?"

"… 'Ferret'?"

"Yeah, a close relative of the weasel. Although this breed plays like a cat…" Aubrey pulled a line of twine from her pocket, dangling the toy mouse on the end before the ferret. Kamaka lunged, lithe body chasing the toy around the room. "Ferrets are a fully domestic species, and most have a bad mixture of curiosity, less common sense, and an almost inability to survive as strays. This breed, the Malgen ferret, was refined by my clan, bred with the wild ancestors, and made more intelligent and capable of full independence. They're also fiercely loyal."

"Huh…" TenTen continued watching the little predator, and found that smile, again…

"Oh, gi~irls," Malgen-san's voice echoed. "If you don't hurry, I'll eat everything…"

"Would she really?"

"No, but the gremlins will."

Not knowing what gremlins were, but not wanting them to eat everything, TenTen quickly concluded that they should move back downstairs.

"Race you to the table."

"Fine."

End of chapter.

_It's gonna be a bit tedious for awhile, but I think that this is how it __**would**__ be if a single character were to be stuck in this situation. I'll try to limit the OC dominance, though. Review, please. _

_PS: I'm officially coming home from college, which means that I may or may not have access to the Internet everyday. I'll try to post once a week, and keep writing in the meanwhile. Sorry, this is why I posted two chapters, today._


	8. By the Sword in My Hand

_I do not own _Naruto_. Or any other anime reference. Have fun._

_And remember: Blah means an author's note, while [Blah] means translated from Japanese._

The two took off down the hall, and TenTen soon realized that Aubrey could easily match her speed. She then noticed a little black streak moving before her. They raced down the stairs, around the corner for the breakfast room. They bounced over and past furniture, with Aubrey laughing more than TenTen. The table came into sight, and they reached to tag it…

Kamaka bounced onto the table.

TenTen and Aubrey froze, and Malgen-san started laughing. Aubrey soon joined, voice like a mountain brook. Before TenTen even realized it, she was laughing along with them. It felt nice, and warm. Kamaka cocked her head, looking up with bright eyes before jumping onto TenTen's head.

"Nani?" TenTen looked up at the sensation of tiny claws on her scalp. In the reflection of a TV across the den, she saw Kamaka's head poking up from her own. "Ka-Kamaka-chan?"

A little face poked into her line of vision, even cuter upside-down.

"Someone likes you," Casclu remarked, now a silver tabby. "She's also young."

Several stomachs rumbled.

"Self-serve in the kitchen," Malgen-san declared, walking into a long rectangle of counters and cabinets. The fridge seemed to watch the newcomer from the other end, looming like some giant tree or cliff. Did two people even _need_ a fridge that big? Or that black? And what was that smell…

TenTen's focus shifted to the steaming pot that she had seen earlier. Malgen-san plucked one of three bowls from the adjoining black counter before plonking in a good bit of rice from the cooker. She then ladled some of the pot's contents—a thick soup and the source of that amazing smell—over it before setting the bowl onto a deep-dished plate and moving farther down.

TenTen followed Malgen-san's example, setting rice into the bowl and wondering if this was some type of curry. If it was anything like the Curry of Life, she was probably screwed. Not as screwed as Neji, but still…

"It's spicy," Malgen-san smiled. "But it adds flavor, and hopefully won't burn your tongue off."

"Hopefully?"

"We're in Louisiana, hon."

"…Ah." It didn't smell like she would lose her tongue. Perhaps against her better judgment, the shinobi ladled the mixture of fish-smelling meat and vegetables into her bowl. Still, she had to ask, "Is this a kind of curry?"

"No, I'm afraid that gumbo is a bit more regional."

"Gumbo, huh?"

"Yep. And these are green beans with new potatoes."

"Huh…" They were longer and thinner than snow peas, not to mention rounded and probably something that should be peeled, and TenTen wasn't sure if potatoes should be eaten if they were that pale inside. Still, she scooped up a respectful amount before looking to whatever would come next.

"And these are cornbread muffins."

"Huh…" TenTen eyed the small, golden-brown things with a curious eye.

"They're good with butter, but some people prefer them plain."

"Oh… Thank you for preparing all this."

"Oh, this is nothing, believe me."

"We fend for ourselves most of the time, anyway," Aubrey said. "But we may as well show y'all some good ol' Southahn Hospitalitay."

"What accent was _that_?"

"Clichéd Southern Belle. Really annoying stereotype."

"Ah."

They moved back into the breakfast room and to a solid and elegantly carved hardwood table. Some type of utensils—TenTen recognized a spoon—were set out with glasses and napkins at three places around the oval. Malgen-san and Aubrey took two spots on autopilot, leaving TenTen across from the latter.

"Anou… Itadakimasu," TenTen said, wondering about the utensils but taking the spoon to the gumbo. It had all come from the same pot, after all.

"And we thank you Lord for this meal," Malgen-san and Aubrey said quietly, bringing their fingers here and there in some kind of reverent sign. A prayer, then?

"You've held Western utensils, before?" Aubrey asked.

TenTen paused, gumbo halfway to her lips. "Only the spoon."

"Well, you stab with a fork," Aubrey demonstrated, "and cut with a knife."

"Ah… But with the gumbo…"

"Spoon."

"Hn." TenTen cautiously slid the spoon into her mouth, and her eyes widened. It was SPICY! But absolutely DELICIOUS! It was warm and rich with perfect but foreign spices and tender vegetables and was that shrimp? And TenTen was starving—planes didn't feed people that much.

Further exploration yielded perfectly tender crab meat, fish, and indeed shrimp. All cooked into this delicious thing called gumbo. She then tested the beans…still in the pods, and pale-fleshed potatoes… that tasted good. She missed chopsticks, though. At least the muffins were finger-food. And delicious, especially with butter…

"It's all really good…"

"Don't sound so surprised about it," Malgen-san smiled.

"Sorry…"

"I was just playing. Do you like to cook, at all?"

"Ha-hai…"

"Then that makes three of us."

"What about your teammates?" Aubrey prompted.

"Oh, Kami-sama, no."

"How bad?"

"They went back to their earlier decree that I am Team Chef."

"You became Team Chef?"

"Yeah… It was an early babysitting mission, and I wound up making lunch. That was when Gai-senseii and Lee voted me Team Chef because they're weird like that, and Neji and I officially decided that we are the only sane people on that team. And it's still _very true._"

"Aubrey, what's she going to do at Magnet?"

"Magnet?"

"Caddo Parish Magnet High School, CMHS. Where we go to school in two weeks."

"And why is your mother concerned about this? 'The Group'?"

"Bull's eye," Malgen-san smiled.

TenTen was starting to become rather concerned, herself.

"And some of the teachers."

"_Why?_"

"Well Balalaika and Chang were heads of major organized crime divisions…"

"You're joking. Unless this is a military school…"

"Nope and nope. And Pakku's from the North Pole…" Yes. I did that.

"You're lying."

"That's what _you_ think."

"Anything else?"

"Well Makarov's a pervert, and Talpa's trying to usurp Ancient's principalship…"

"I shouldn't have asked…"

"Better to have an advance warning."

"…True."

"And thus it is time for seconds," Malgen-san stated.

TenTen blinked. In the course of that conversation, she had all but cleaned her dishes. Yes, it was definitely time for seconds, lots of seconds.

"Perhaps this time, we'll actually take the time to pour the lemonade," Aubrey proposed.

...

BUUUUUUURP!

TenTen froze. Aubrey had just…

"Excuse me," Aubrey said calmly. "Sorry, we're like this at the family table."

"No, no, it… cool."

"If you thought that _that_ was cool," Malgen-san smirked, "then I declare a belching contest."

**BUUUUUURP!**

**BRAAAAAAAACK!**

**B**_**UUUUUUUUU**_**RP!**

Post-dinner belching contest? "Are all Americans like this?"

"No," Aubrey sighed. "Strange as it may seem, we are the oddballs out."

_Shocking._ "Ah."

"Dessert," Malgen-san declared. "I'll be right back."

She returned from the fridge with a…what(?)…three smaller plates, three shortish forks, and a spade.

"Ever had pie before?"

TenTen looked down at the strange round thing before her. It was a golden brown color, with brown…crumbs? sprinkled all over like the night sky. The same brown substance formed a ring and went down, visible through the glass dish. This thing was a…pie?

"Graham cracker pie, an old family recipe," Aubrey explained. "Custer filling, buttered graham cracker crumb crust, meringue topping—not the commercial kind— sprinkled with more crumbs. Understand any of that?"

"No."

"Mm-kay, thought so."

Malgen-san had cut three wedges from the pie and set them on plates. Hers looked a little…

"The first piece of the pie is always the messiest," Malgen-san explained. "So I took it."

"O-oh, uhm… You didn't—"

"It's my favorite piece. Go ahead."

TenTen followed Aubrey's example with the fork and cemented once and for all that, Holy cow, the Malgens could cook.

However, she never forgot the priority. It couldn't have been soon enough before they all left their dishes in the sink and moved into the Malgen family library. Which was amazing. Every wall was a built-in shelf or window, with another hardwood table in the middle and easy chairs, a fireplace between it and the den, and books EVERYWHERE.

However, none of this was TenTen's definition of the amazing part. Hanging from the ceiling, sitting on the shelves, even on the table, weapons. Fully functioning, from the view that she had. It was an armory glinting in the lamplight—swords of all types, yari, axes, flails, staves, knives, fans, sickles, clubs, bows, everything but guns. That last part was especially likable.

_Neji and I could both hole up in here for a year and never get bored…_

Of course, Lee would go crazy with boredom.

"To the table," Aubrey declared, and sat into a seat whose cushion had molded to her body from sheer _use_. Which was amazing in and of itself… Malgen-san took one beside her daughter, and the chair motioned for TenTen set Aubrey in the middle. The chairs were comfortable.

"About three months before Akatsuki's invasion of Konoha, my mother was contacted by an official of an undisclosed branch of the CIA—America's primary intelligence agency. They gave her vague details about an undisclosed nation of the Southeast Asian Subcontinent, one relatively primitive in many areas of technology but with soldiers ridiculously stronger than our own. Even as 'children'."

"The Land of Fire."

Aubrey nodded before continuing. "Now apparently this nation was engaged in conflict among its neighbors, and soon the US would intervene. At which point, they would 'rescue' some of their child soldiers and send them over here in hopes of better understanding said nation and aiding this poor, war-torn corner of the world."

"I've heard _that_ before," TenTen spat, fully aware of the sarcasm marinating Aubrey's words.

"But I haven't even gotten to the good part."

"Really."

"Yep. Once my family, with its positive history of serving our country and strong connections, agreed to take in one of these poor children, more details were presented. For instance, their hopes that one day these children, removed from each other and accepting of America's positivity, will come to aid America and its military to settle the disputes worldwide without the cost of new technology or innocent lives."

"But if we ignore the bullshit…" Malgen-san prompted…

"They want to use us as weapons," TenTen growled. "But we'll never agree to that crap."

"They know." Aubrey had adopted a falsely cheery voice as her smile sank farther into a grimace. "That's why, so that you can truly understand America and grow to love it unbiased, half of you will have your horrible memories as child soldiers sealed far, far away."

"**NA-NANI?**_"_

"The hope is that you will rediscover your abilities on your own and use them to fight for _Pphbbbt_." (Aubrey had blown a raspberry.) "The other half, so that we may truly understand Konoha and see if you will come to love America on your own, will _keep_ your memories. So half of you keep the chakra seal, and the other half gain a bonus memory seal."

Aubrey's face had turned as serious as those of the other two, simply missing TenTen's sheer anger.

"And they think they can get away with this?"

Aubrey and Malgen-san nodded.

"Kuzo…"

"Care to guess which one you are?"

"Surprise me."

"You keep your memories, but remain under constant surveillance as do Hinata, Lee, Sai, Shikamaru, and Shino.

_Lee's safe… but…_ "I didn't hear Neji's name on that list…"

"Neji, Choji, Ino, Kiba, Naruto, and Sakura will have their memories sealed."

A cold pit had emptied into her stomach. "When?" No, no, no…

"Tonight."

TenTen froze. No, no, no! No, they couldn't! "We're going to stop them, right? _Right?_"

"How? Even I don't know their locations."

"So find someone who knows!"

"I have. I'm still trying to gain access to them."

"But… but… Wait, you _knew_ and you still _let them separate us?_ What kind of an ally are you, you—!"

"One who can remove the seals."

"…What?"

"I can remove both the memory and the chakra seals. And we have six months until they try to use Group B, the ones with two seals."

_Well, Neji's got three…_ Wait… "What if they have three seals?"

"Three?"

"One of them… in Group B… already had a seal, a powerful one, placed on him."

"There shouldn't be a conflict, unless they overlap."

"And where does the memory seal go?"

"It's a ring around the chakra seal."

"Okay, then…" TenTen's hand went to her heart, tracing lines below the fabric. _Safe. _Not. "So you can definitely fix this." _Really._

"Yes."

"But you _really_ can't stop it _now_?"

"No."

"Even if I told you it's not just a matter of eventually stopping it, but not letting it do any damage before you can?"

"I still can't stop it now, because I have to be able to touch the seal itself. But, pray tell, why?"

"Because…" TenTen began, trying to put it into words. "When they _do_ regain their memories, perhaps after six months of _being an American_, it won't be an issue of removing the seal…some of them have a good deal of…the guilt over this would be…"

"It's an issue of pride?" Malgen-san sighed.

TenTen thought about it, weighing the word. _Neji…_ "Yes, in a sense. But it's so much more than that…"

"I see, and I'm sorry, but it doesn't change the facts."

"I understand. I just want _you_ to know the effect this will have on my teammates."

"Understood. But we're not waiting the full six months; that would be procrastination."

Was that an attempt at humor?

Wait… how was she taking this situation so _lightly_?

"There is an upside."

"Which would be?"

"The Peace Corps network is incredibly vast, far surpassing that of the humans. Now that I've seen their faces, even those of some of their jailers, I can put out a nation-wide alert."

"So finding them…"

"Won't be a chore for this small team alone."

"Yes!"

"Also…"

"Hn?"

"I'm not the only guide duping these guys."

"What?"

"Hinata and Shino have gone to two old friends of mine in California and Illinois."

"Seriously?" _Those two..?_

"Seriously."

"When can I see them?"

"We're working on that, since if you're seen together or the enemy has any reason to be suspicious, game over."

"Really game over?"

"In most likelihood, yes," Aubrey sighed. "Even so, this won't be a quick or easy mission. America's not an easy foe, no matter _what_ I may say."

"I realize this."

"Alright, so then in summary; Mission Objective: locate and gather all Konoha 'foreign exchange students' within six months and return to the Land of Fire. Method: search major cities and news articles, although I doubt the latter will do much. At the same time, keep the enemy completely oblivious of our actions. To that end, the next two weeks will be spent getting you acquainted with this nation and its culture before school starts."

TenTen was not looking forward to that, but she could already hear Neji's lecture on patience. Dammit… "Where does the search begin?"

Malgen-san stood, walked to the bookshelf opposite Aubrey, silently pulled it out two feet, and turned it to reveal a US map before pushing it back inward.

"The nation's capital, Washington, DC. Obvious, but not to be overlooked. From there, we'll go down the other 97 US cities larger than Shreveport.

"Ninety…seven?"

"Shreveport is ranked as the 99th largest city in America. But we have a major air force base Barkesdale, which explains why you're here. Doing the twelve largest cities would also be too obvious."

98 cities larger than this one. "Are there any _smaller_?"

"Yeah, and I'm hoping that we don't have to search all 273 or so of them."

273. TenTen felt like Lee had dumped all his weights on her shoulders, along with his spares.

"The U.S. considers any settlement with a population over 100,000 to be a city. If they stuck someone into a town, which would be beside the point of 'cultural integration,' the number would go up exponentially."

"Wait, there are 273 'cities' with a population over _100,000_?"

"Trust me, you should see New York. Shreveport's a village by comparison."

"Aubrey?"

"Yes?"

"Remember when that jerk showed us the maps?"

"Comparing Konoha to America?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"This is having about the same effect."

"But I haven't broken your brain, yet?"

273. "Of course not."

"Coolness. But you've had enough for one night, right?"

"Only if that's all that needs to be discussed."

"We'll get your seal off once surveillance lightens, we'll try to get you to see Hinata and Shino before school starts, and city searches will begin two weeks into the school year."

"Anything else?"

"Meeting adjourned," Malgen-san declared. "Nocturnal as we are, tomorrow is a busy day. The enemy has to see you assimilating."

"Hooray."

"Do you shower at night or in the morning?"

"Night." _After Gai-sensei's training, no choice._

"Then I'll show you the bathroom," Aubrey offered.

...

TenTen sighed, toweling her hair drier as she returned to "her" bedroom, hair smelling of pear blossoms and the rest of her smelling of almonds thanks to the toiletries that Aubrey had _alchemized_, and feeling surprisingly calm. Which was odd, given that the ultra-soft red robe that she currently wore had been "woven" by Aubrey by _alchemy_, as had the WHOLE BATHROOM (blue marble, really?) several hundred years back.

The underwear that she'd been wearing before was waiting for her, since there were modesty levels to be respected, although the t-shirt and drawstring pants were new.

Apparently, they'd be doing clothes, tomorrow. Aubrey had grimaced, too, so maybe it wouldn't be too bad.

TenTen wondered how the others were adjusting, if at all. Lee's guide should have gone insane by now, and Neji's would have lost multiple staring contests. Hinata and Shino were probably about in her position, maybe with people less…unique.

Her wet hair pooled on the soft pillow, body sinking into a heavenly mattress. TenTen retreated from the cool of the house into the warm quilt called a comforter and silky soft sheets, shinobi sense berating the kunoichi and meeting heavy guilt.

But the post-shower calm and feeling of a full stomach (the first in a long while), plus the knowledge that she was with allies, proved to be a potent combo. TenTen slowly drifted off with thoughts about reuniting with the others and Neji's possible reactions to gumbo and the memories of cooking back home. Like the first time that Team Gai had tasted her cooking, and she actually _had_ been nominated as Team Chef…

[There had been one mission detail that made her happier than any other: they were expected to cook. It was still an early mission, still so much better than that STUPID CAT, and they had to…

Babysit

Sandaime's

grandson.

And friends.

"LET ME GO!"

"YOSH! AMAZING WORK, NEJI!"

Hn." Neji glared down at the little boy dangling a good foot over the ground. Konohamaru waved his arms wildly while glaring back, and TenTen sighed. This was the kid's third escape attempt already, and he'd had the misfortune of being caught by Neji. For the third time.

"KONOHAMARU!"

"LET HIM GO!"

"YOU BULLY!"

"**URUSAI!**"

Everyone froze, and six heads turned to the loudest of all, a very scary TenTen.

"Shut up, and calm down," TenTen ordered. "We are here to protect you and keep you from doing something stupid. You _were_ about to do something stupid, weren't you?"

"Stop lecturing me, you fat cow!"

"Rrg…"

"TENTEN, NO! HE'S THE HOKAGE'S GRANDSON!"

"LEE, LET GO!"

"THAT'S MY LINE! GET OFFA ME, YOU _CROSSDRESSER_!"

The room. Fell. Silent.

"…_What_?"

_**Bloodlust.**_ _Oh, shiiiiit_; Anger forgotten, TenTen thought desperately to stop Neji's wrath.

Someone's stomach grumbled.

TenTen smiled, eye nearly twitching. "_Hungry_?"

Konohamaru said nothing, glaring at a wall, unaware of just how close he was to death.

The other two kids' stomachs growled in turn, and both flushed.

"Well, then, I'll have to fix that," TenTen beamed like a weasel. She strode out of the kitchen before anyone could stop her, leaving Konohamaru to worry about poisons.

As TenTen turned into the kitchen, she heard Neji say that she wasn't going to poison them; "That is not our mission. Instead, you should feel grateful that we are required to feed you."

"YOSH! You shall help TenTen, Neji!"

"…Fine."

TenTen was midway through drying her hands when Neji came through the door.

"YES!" Gai-senseii shouted. "LET'S RUN 100 LAPS AROUND KONOHA AS WE AWAIT LUNCH!"

"YOSH!" Lee echoed.

"WHAAAAT?"

TenTen sniggered, setting a wok onto the counter before checking for rice and vegetables. "Did you _plan_ that, Neji?"

"…Perhaps."

TenTen sniggered again as she set leeks, peppers, bamboo shoots, etc. beside the wok and began searching for oil.

"What are you _making_?"

"Fried vegetables and fish with plain rice. They left a list of what we can use, so I decided to save the beef for dinner…" TenTen began measuring water and rice into the cooker on autopilot, going through her mental checklist.

"Hn. You cook?"

"Ha, ha, yeah. Just Chinese-style."

"Hn."

"What?"

"You didn't strike me as the type."

"And you didn't strike me as the type to care."

"We're going to be on the same team for awhile, TenTen."

"I know. So do you cook?"

"No."

Awkward silence.

"HOW THE HECK DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY?" a child screamed.

TenTen smirked at Neji, who shook his head in disdain. TenTen began chopping vegetables. She felt Neji's eyes on her, but ignored it. While she was in a kitchen, she could ignore a lot of things. Her teammate may as well have been her mother's ugly lion statue, for all she cared. She soon moved several fish filets from the fridge and made a neat job of slicing them up before warming up the wok. Next came the sauce.

"Hmm, no broth…" the kunoichi murmured.

"_Hn?_"

"Oh!" TenTen had honestly forgotten about Neji. He noticed. "Just talking to myself… They don't have any broth or stock on the list, so I'll have to find something else!"

"Hn?"

"What?"

"Why on Earth would you require either of those?"

"For flavor. Soy sauce and cornstarch are the base, but you need something else to make it taste really good… Ah-ha! The spice cabinet…"

"Hn."

"I don't speak a single-word language, Neji." There was the ginger…

"Hn."

"Could you at least make it an actual word?" There was the pepper…

"Hn."

"Or one that's multisyllabic?" And the soy…

"Hn."

"Hn." And the cornstarch…

"Hn."

TenTen selected several more before measuring and mixing it all in a bowl and checking the wok. She poured in just enough oil and selected the proper utensils before flattening the fish on one side and the vegetables on the other. Soon, the kitchen was smelling delicious as she added the sauce and mixed it all to the sound of children's shouts of agony.

"Oh, I forgot to make tea…"

"I CAN'T MOVE FOR THE PAIN!"

"But they'll probably want water, anyway…"

"Hn."

"Don't little kids like fruit juice, though..?"

"Hn."

"But the tastes won't be complimentary…"

"_Hn?_"

"Neji, what do you think?"

…Since when did Neji make faces like that?

"TenTen?"

"Hm?"

"How in the world should I know?"

"Good point, since you don't cook."

"Hn."

"WATER! WATER! WATER!"

"YOSH! NEXT WE SHALL DO 1,000 JUMPING JACKS!"

"**AAAH!**"

"Well that settles that," TenTen beamed. Neji pinched his brow. "Good thing this is tasteless…"

"What?"

"This." A small potion bottle.

"Which would be?"

"Something to ensure nap time."

"No."

But—"

"We are not drugging the Hokage's grandson."

"Even though—"

"If he runs away, I'll simply catch him at the front door. Again."

"Hmph." TenTen taste-tested, liked it, checked the rice, liked it, and spooned it all into serving bowls. "Care to help set the table?"

"Hn."

...

"TENTEN THIS IS AMAZING!"

Konohamaru looked annoyed; he couldn't say that it tasted bad.

Gai-sensei and Lee sounded like each other. Not surprising, but still.

Neji said nothing, ate quietly, and kept Konohamaru from escaping. Again.

TenTen blushed under the constant praise, and nearly dropped her chopsticks when the über-brows voted her team chef. Konohamaru's friends seconded it (even though they weren't on the team), and Neji spared her by saying nothing besides "Hn."

And then TenTen had to make dinner.

"I'd thought I'd made enough rice for both meals," TenTen sighed. She was thankful that she'd washed everything right after lunch, because she'd probably have to make double what she had the first time. "And I'll have to take the starch approach…"

"Hn?"

Oh, yeah, and Neji was watching her, again. "The higher the amount of starch, the quicker they'll fill up and the less I'll have to make. I can barely manage as it is, and they'll need the extra carbs."

"Don't girls hate carbs?"

"Do I _look_ like a girly-girl?" There went the rice…

"You wear pink."

"And I'm a shinobi." The noodle water wasn't quite boiling, yet.

"And you're skilled in a kitchen."

"And I have better aim than you." Three noodle nests should have been enough…

"What was that?"

"You're a genius, but I'm a weapons specialist." Now for those vegetables…

"That doesn't mean much for a genin."

"You're a genin, too." Leeks, shoots, peppers, water chestnuts…

"That doesn't mean much with me."

"And you're very special. I know you're a genius, but still." The snow peas would need to be de-veined… Yet another thing that she'd had to run back and grab from home, along with broth. Yay, broth. Stock sucked.

"TenTen, are you listening?"

"Eheheheh… Gomen, Neji…"

He glared. And shoved off from the wall, and looked over her shoulder.

No, _loomed_. Was he deliberately making her uncomfortable? Like Mom's ugly lion statue? Which she could ignore, and thus ignore anything.

"What are you doing?"

He was looking at the snow peas fresh from the sink. "De-veining snow peas."

"_Why?_"

"Because the veins are tough and tasteless." Break off the tip, peel the major vein off along the top. Separate into the vegetable and scrap bowls, repeat.

"Shouldn't you be removing the peas from the pods?"

"Not with snow peas." Snap, peel, sort; snap, peel, sort; snap, peel, sort…

"Hn."

"I'm Chinese, remember?" Snap, peel, sort; snap, peel, sort; snap, peel, sort…

"That explains it."

TenTen elbowed him, and was surprised to actually hit him. "Gomen." Snap, peel, sort. Snap, peel, sort. Snap, peel, sort. "But that's what you get for breathing down my neck."

He deliberately stood behind her, and she fought down a blush. Snap, peel, sort! Snap, peel, sort! Snap, peel, sort!

"You're not going to try that, again?"

"Wouldn't you only catch it?" Almost through.

"True."

She elbowed him, and he caught it. "Told you." Okay, on to the water chestnuts.

"Hn."

She stepped on his foot. Not on the toes—that would be mean—but on the sandal.

"_TenTen…_" Neji growled.

TenTen stepped to the right, moving on to the next food item. "Gomen, but could you please not stand behind me? I kinda need to concentrate, since I have a knife in my hand…"

"Hn." He compromised by leaning against the nearby counter.

"Thanks."

"Hn."

"Also for earlier. If those two insist that I'm team chef, I don't know what I'd do."

"Hn."

They did end up insisting that TenTen was team chef, and TenTen was suddenly all the more grateful that Neji was on her team. Even if he was scarier than her mom's ugly lion statue.

End of chapter.

_Just for the record, Magnet is indeed a real school, and my Alma Mater. No, there are no teachers from _Black Lagoon_, _Avatar_, _Fairy Tail_, or any other anime at the actual place, mad as it can be. No, the badasses of _Ronin Warriors _are not admin, either. I obviously do not own a public high school, and I pray that nobody from Magnet decides to get mad over a future chapter. Or several. Review, please. _

_Sorry for the lateness. Finally made it to the library, yay! Hopefully I can update once a week from now on. Also, sorry for uploading this chapter twi-thrice. My proofreading skills need work if I overlook LEAVING OUT THE NUMBER OF CITIES... Hopefully it won't happen, again. Oh, and since I'm re-uploading, thanks for the reviews. Yes, this chapter was more cooking-oriented. I write what I know, but I hope it was't too dull for those who know not the identity of snow peas. Thanks for reading!_


	9. Wake Me Up

_This is not me being lazy and copy-pasting the second half of the last chapter. If the POV change isn't really that cool, please let me know in a review. I don't own _Naruto_._

_And remember: *Blah* means an author's note, while [Blah] means translated from Japanese._

["YES! YOU SHALL HELP TENTEN, NEJI!" Gai-"sensei" shouted.

"…Fine." An escape from these children? Fine with him. Neji dropped Konohamaru to the mercy of the über-brows and took TenTen's route into the kitchen. Where she was drying her hands. She seemed to have calmed down.

"YOSH!" a now familiar voice shouted. "WE SHALL RUN 100 LAPS AS WE AWAIT LUNCH!"

"YES!" their sensei echoed.

"WHAAAT?" There was the child.

TenTen sniggered, setting a _wok_ on the counter before checking cabinets and the fridge. "Did you _plan_ that, Neji?"

For the child to be punished, those two to vent their energy, and him to escape? "…Perhaps."

TenTen sniggered again as she set vegetables and cooking oil on the counter.

"What are you making?" _She can __**cook**__?_

"Fried vegetables and fish with plain rice. They left a list of what we can use, so I decided to save the beef for dinner…" She was only halfway answering him as she poured rice and water into a cooker.

"Hn. You cook?" _And ignore people while doing so?_

"Ha ha, yeah. Just Chinese-style."

"Hn." Well, she _was_ Chinese. But she was _definitely _embarrassed.

"What?"

"You didn't strike me as the type."

"And you didn't strike me as the type to care."

_I don't._ "We're going to be on the same time for awhile, TenTen."

"I know. So do you cook?"

"No." HELL NO.

Silence returned with one word. Which at this point, Neji didn't mind.

"HOW THE HECK DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY?" a child screamed.

TenTen smirked at Neji, who shook his head in disdain. TenTen began chopping vegetables. And ignoring him. She looked so… strange doing that, especially after pinning Lee to a tree with kunai during their last training session. So _why_ did she also look so… _natural_? Well, she had a knife. And now she was pulling out… fish. And sliced them like an expert sushi chef.

Strange, yet interesting.

Now what was she doing?

"Hmm, no broth…"

For soup? "Hn?"

"Oh!" She had actually _forgotten_ that he was there! What kind of a ninja would—"Just talking to myself… They don't have any broth or stock on the list, so I'll have to find something else!"

"Hn?" Again, she had mentioned nothing about soup.

"What?"

"Why on Earth would you need either of those?" Wait, why on Earth had he _asked_?

"For flavor. Soy sauce and cornstarch are the base, but you need something else to make it taste really good… Ah ha! The spice cabinet…"

"Hn." She was getting _way_ too into this.

"I don't speak a single-word language, Neji."

"Hn." There she was again, halfway addressing him as she plucked bottles from a shelf.

"Could you at least make it an actual word?"

"Hn." She had never acted like this to him, before. It was annoying.

"Or one that's multisyllabic?"

"Hn." Was she mocking him?

"Hn."

"Hn." Yes, she was definitely mocking him. And she was ignoring him again, gliding here and there from cabinet to stove to a drawer to the counter. So much multitasking, and he could only see the food until it went past the high walls of the wok. The ensuing sizzling was soon accompanied by smells better than he would ever admit, and it took more willpower than he liked to keep his stomach silent. And the smells just got stronger.

When the children's cries of agony sounded through the window, she began humming. Could you taste murderous intent through a person's cooking? Would it impart an off-flavor? How should he know? Why would he care? Where were these questions coming from?

*Guilty. No, Neji can't hear this. Only Aubrey can.*

"Oh, I forgot to make tea…"

"I CAN'T MOVE FOR THE PAIN!" Konohamaru cried.

"But they'll probably want water, anyway…"

"Hn." He _knew_ that she heard that.

"Don't little kids like fruit juice, though..?"

"Hn." She _could_ hear the screaming, right?

"But the tastes wouldn't be complimentary…"

"_Hn?_" Wait, _**what**__?_ *lolz*

"Neji, what do you think?"

_**I THINK YOU'RE INSANE!**_ *******LOLZ*** "TenTen?" He kept his voice under control, somehow.

"Hm?"

How could she not know? "How in the world should I know?"

"Good point, since you don't cook."

"Hn." Did he need to point out the obvious?

"WATER! WATER! WATER~!"

"YOSH! NEXT WE SHALL DO 1000 JUMPING JACKS!"

"AAAH!"

"Well, that settles that," TenTen beamed. Yes, she had to be insane. Neji pinched his brow, willing his brain not to explode. "Good thing this is tasteless…"

"What?"

"This." She held up a small potion bottle.

"Which would be?" Neji could feel his inner imp giggling fiendishly, but he locked it back in the cage and said nothing more.

"Something to ensure naptime."

YES! "No."

"But—"

"We are not drugging the Hokage's grandson." Unfortunately.

"Even though—"

"If he runs away, I'll simply catch him at the front door. Again."

"Hmph." And thus TenTen resumed cooking (even though she hadn't taken her hands from the wok the whole time). And took a sample, seemed to like it, checked the rice, seemed to like that too, and began spooning it all into serving bowls. Which looked really good. "Care to help set the table?"

"Hn." _TenTen is annoying when she cooks. I hope it tastes bad._

_..._

"TENTEN THIS IS AMAZING!" Lee shouted.

Konohamaru looked annoyed, for the same reason as Neji; he couldn't say that it tasted bad.

Gai-"sensei" and Lee sounded like each other. Which was annoying. Why that had to happen was clearly a mockery of fate, but not even the Byakugan could have forseen _two_ green monstrosities for teammates. And now… Ugh.

Neji hated to admit how good TenTen's cooking was, and was glad to make Konohamaru's attempt to escape fail. Again.

And everybody else was praising TenTen's cooking, and she was blushing. It reached its reddest when the über-brows voted her _team chef_ of all things, and the kid's friends not even on the team seconded it. Obviously, Neji said nothing. And despite his malice, TenTen seemed relieved by this.

And then came the toss-up of continuing to actually babysit or deal with TenTen on Chef Mode. As difficult a choice as it was, Neji eventually found himself leaning against the wall by the door, again, with a full side view of TenTen preparing to cook. In a kitchen that was even more spotless than it had been _before_ her last run.

"I thought I'd made enough rice for both meals," TenTen sighed. "And I'll have to take the starch approach…"

"Hn?" Starch?

She'd forgotten about him, again. She recovered herself almost perfectly this time, but still. "The higher the amount of starch, the quicker they'll fill up and the less I'll have to make. I can barely manage as it is, and they'll need the extra carbs."

"Don't girls hate carbs?"

"Do I _look_ like a girly-girl?" Halfway paying attention to him…

"You wear pink." Which was the "girly-girl" uniform.

"And I'm a shinobi." Halfway paying attention to him…

"And you're skilled in a kitchen." Wait, had he just _complimented _her?

"And I have better aim than you."

"What was that?" This was what he got for complimenting her.

"You're a genius, but I'm a weapons specialist." Who was setting out vegetables.

"That doesn't mean much for a genin."

"You're a genin, too."

"That doesn't mean much with me."

"And you're very special. I know you're a genius, but still."

Was she patronizing him? "Hn. I've noticed that you have yet to call yourself a weapons genius. Are you so unsure in your abilities compared to mine that you…" She wasn't listening. "TenTen, are you listening?" No, because she jumped.

"Eheheheh… Gomen, Neji."

Neji glared at her sheepish expression before resolving to teach her a lesson. He shoved off from the wall, stood deliberately behind her, and glared over her shoulder at… flat pea pods. "What are you doing?" Pulling off only _part_ of what shouldn't have been edible in the first place?

"Deveining snow peas."

What? "Why?" He put a lot of malice into it.

"Because the veins are tough and tasteless." She was calmly… _deveining_ them as if he hadn't left the wall. Worse, she had ignored the malice.

"Shouldn't you be removing the peas from the pods? Common sense.

"Not with snow peas."

"Hn." _Weird little…_

"I'm Chinese, remember?"

"That explains it." Yes, it—

She elbowed him? Neji held in his surprise, not nearly as well as she hid hers. "Gomen. Her pace almost imperceptibly stiffened. "But that's what you get for breathing down my neck."

_Overconfident little…_ Arms still crossed, Neji moved deliberately closer and smirked when her pace began to hide a slight panic. Did the panda have closeness issues? Was she going to elbow him, again? Probably. He'd test. "You're not going to try that, again?"

"Wouldn't you only catch it?" Calm voice, but she seemed eager to finish.

"True." And a second later, he caught her attempt to elbow him. _Hah!_

"Told you."

"Hn." _You're not the one who should say that!_

She stepped on his foot. Not on his toes, his foot. She had deliberately stepped on his foot.

"_TenTen_," Neji growled. She was _definitely_ doing this on purpose.

And she stepped to the right, picking up more food in a vain attempt to escape. "Gomen, but could you please not stand behind me? I kinda need to concentrate, since I have a knife in my hand…"

"Hn." _Now_ she had a knife. Neji decided to stay just close enough to bug her without getting stepped on. The nearby counter sufficed.

"Thanks."

"Hn." _I didn't do it to be nice to you._

"Also for earlier. If those two insist that I'm Team Chef, I don't know what I'll do."

"Hn." At this point, he wouldn't mind seeing her squirm a bit more.

And so he did not back her up when Gai and Lee insisted that she was Team Chef, but he _did_ resolve never to be alone in a kitchen with TenTen again. His pride had suffered enough.]

...

Neji almost chuckled in his would-be meditative state. TenTen's cooking mode had _not_ been a fun experience for him at age twelve. Of course, a lot had changed since then, including the distance between them. It had gone from a gulf to almost nothing in the course of five years, but now it could have easily been a thousand kilometers.

_Focus_, the prodigy told himself, something that had become increasingly difficult. "His room," which lacked both windows and a doorknob, probably wasn't helping. Neither was the fully-functioning chakra seal or strange clothes, or the fact that he honestly had no idea where any of his teammates (or he, for that matter) were. The word "Seattle" wasn't really much of a clue, either.

_Perhaps I can take one of them hostage_, Neji considered.

The door opened. No time for the element of surprise, then. In walked his "guide," Mardukas, who seemed as stern as ever. Which Neji could tolerate (even respect), or course, but this one was an enemy. And the enemy was speaking. "It's time for your physical."

"Hn." Neji followed him out the door, imperceptibly prepared to spring, and swallowed it when the armed guard became visible. Just how dependent on the Byakugan _was_ he?

"Don't make this difficult," Mardukas ordered, leading him down a corridor and into some very sterile nurse's office.

"Please have a seat," a young woman with cropped black hair smiled before gesturing some raised metal bed with a sheet of paper scrolled over it. "My name is Melissa, and I'll need to ask you some questions about your medical history. Alright?"

"It depends."

"It's for your own good. It'll be way too easy for someone new to this continent to get sick, and when you do we'll need to know how to treat you. We want to help you, you know."

"Hn."

"What are _those_?" Neji glared at the injections she was preparing. His shinobi sense was buzzing loudly in his ear, all over them.

"The first of many immunization shots," Melissa smiled apologetically. "They're a pain, in multiple senses, but it's better than being laid up for weeks on end."

What fool of a shinobi would let the enemy _inject_ anything? "I'll take my chances, if it's all the same to you."

"It's not. And don't worry, if you're needle-shy."

"I'm not. I simply do not wish for anything foreign in my veins. My immune system is fine, thank you all the same—"

She pinned him. "Sorry, but you're taking your medicine."

"You're no civilian, are you?"

"Nope."

Neji pulled free and aimed for a pressure point, only to be blocked by the guard. He had bolted in at the first sound, and seemed to be even more adept than the girl.

"Mao," the soldier grunted. Neji spun to avoid a needle as a third enemy joined the fray, another young male. This blond slammed Neji into the wall, and both pinned him to the table through sheer strength.

"Sorry, bud," the blond smirked, "but some things have to be done."

There had to be some way out. The Rotation or Air Palm would have been ideal, but both were currently impossible. The brown-haired one forced Neji's arm to turn over, revealing veins already flexed to show. Melissa came forward with a syringe, looking down with a mixture of victory and sympathy.

"We're not your enemies, you know." She pricked in the needle. Neji continued to struggle, to fight, to do something. "At least, we won't be before long." She injected something, and a lot of it, but Neji barely felt it for all the adrenaline; he could do nothing but helplessly watch it empty into his bloodstream.

"It's for your own good," the blond assured him. "Don't worry, I'll introduce myself when you wake up. So'll this expressive guy."

The words were beginning to echo, the room soon spinning. Neji's body felt numb, and the more he struggled the more disoriented he became. What the Hell was going on? What had they done to him? His vision swam, and he felt like he should be falling unconscious, but he wasn't. He was kept right on the brink, and was vaguely aware of being moved, and various voices echoing in his ears, and being laid out on his back as more things happened and he lost all control of the situation. Images, memories, flew by before he could grasp them, going where he couldn't follow as they slipped away.

_TenTen…_ He wished his teammates would come for him; something horrible was definitely happening here. _TenTen…_ Even as he lost a face to put with the name, or a place where the two had met, he latched onto it just for something even as his world finally began to dim. _TenTen…_

_Neji…_

"_NEJI!_" TenTen screamed. She was sitting up, wide-eyed in the dark, instantly awake. It had happened. It was over. They had just sealed off Neji's memory, wherever he was, and she could feel it. He was gone. "_Neji…_"

Something cool and wet trickled down her cheek, and was quickly followed by another. She was crying; the enemy had taken Neji's memory, and she couldn't do a thing to stop it. TenTen gathered up her knees, sobbing gently in the darkness of a foreign night, in a foreign house, in a foreign bed.

With a foreign door creaking open.

TenTen tensed at the thought of Aubrey hearing her, but saw a huge quadruped shape halfway in. Maybe a dog, not Deirdre but shaggy and completely black. It padded in, stopping at the bed and gently whining before jumping up, nearly throwing TenTen off-balance and into the huge warm weight now behind her. The dog whined again, running a slick dog tongue over her face to lick away the tears.

TenTen sniffled, hugging the beast close and burying her nose in the scent of dog. And felt dog even more as it licked the crown of her head. What was it with Malgen animals and strangers, anyway? Still, TenTen let herself be comforted, thinking about and wishing for Neji even as she fell asleep against the dog's soft, warm side.

_Neji…_

End of chapter.

_Lost it toward the end, probably. Not the original way I wrote it, either, but I decided to go with it. Yes, I have officially had Americans do the unthinkable, and made our beloved Sagara a villain. Sorry, but it just fits! Also, I swear that all Americans are not antagonists and that it must get worse before it gets better (whether it gets better or not). Let me know what you think about it, okay?_

_Oh, and sorry to those who actually reviewed and asked to see Neji's POV. This may seem like a cruel joke, but I'd already written this before any replies came in. The story is by far more about TenTen than Neji; it's just that that's the main pairing… _^_^


	10. Land of Confusion

_Because I have actually reached the Ten Chapter mark (fanfare and applause), I shall do a nice, quick recap. I—Ara the Almighty Evil Author— had America sucker punch Konoha, ship off twelve poor child soldiers to America, separate them upon arrival, stick TenTen in Louisiana with what they don't know to be a 390 million-year old witch and her awesome mom, made TenTen cry, and seal away the memories of six Konoha ninja—Neji included. Somewhere along the way, I made at least one reader cry. That gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside the little cavity that's supposed to contain a heart. Now, I shall stick TenTen in a mall while pigging out on malt balls, Dr. Pepper, and __**facon**__. This may be why I don't own _Naruto_._

"Good morning, TenTen," Malgen-san smiled. "Good morning, Fenrir."

TenTen followed her gaze to the big, shaggy black dog. So this blue-eyed wolf dog (had to be) was named Fenrir? Apparently, because Fenrir nuzzled TenTen's side before moving to an awaiting food bowl. "Ō-hayo, Malgen-san."

Even TenTen knew how tired she sounded.

"I heard you scream, last night," Aubrey said. "My condolences."

"Hn." She hadn't slept much. Even with Fenrir. TenTen felt utterly numb, insides scooped out. It was the same feeling she got when she heard of someone's death, mere hours after seeing them. It wasn't the same situation, not really, but she had left him, walked away to a separate path, left him to that fate. Her shinobi sense wasn't suffocating her, the way when she had made a major mistake, but still.

"But it's not as if we can't save him," she heard herself say. _Saving Neji… What a weird thought._

"Exactly. Go ahead and eat up. We're going to have to do something annoying."

"Shopping." Less than thrilled.

"And immunizations."

TenTen nearly dropped her plate. Injections. Her shinobi senses were screaming _Hell no_, as were her facial features. What proof had they really given her that they were allies? None, just words, and none of them from Konoha. If it was a trap…

If they'd wanted to trap her, they'd have done it while she was asleep.

"What kind?"

"The diseases your body won't be familiar with. Trust me, there are a few."

"Great."

"Isn't it?" Malgen-san beamed.

"No."

"It's either that, or risk having you sick with something completely foreign at a critical moment."

Which would not be good.

"Does that help?"

"No."

"I know. Grab a couple of crêpes."

Parchment-thin cakes. Along with blackberries and strawberries, and bacon, and some sweet sauce called syrup. Aubrey was already munching the bacon… Wait…

"That's pork, right?"

"Yep."

"Yesterday, you said that you're a vegetarian. A non-meat eater."

"Yep."

"So why are you eating it, now?"

Aubrey smiled, holding up a fresh, greasy strip. "Do you know where this comes from?"

"I don't know your geography."

"This came from a wild pig I killed in the woods. Do you know where most other meat comes from?"

"No."

"Neither do I."

"Huh?"

"Location-wise, although I could probably trace it halfway across the country. To a filthy, crowded death hole of a barn, flanked by a lake of toxic waste."

"That bad?"

"Like most of America's livestock, a majority of the nation's pigs are pumped with hormones to increase their growth, and antibiotics to keep them from dying in the crowded disease farms in which they're 'raised'. Mothers accidently crush their own young, who drop into the open sewage troughs that run all throughout the pens. Eventually, they feed into a 'lagoon'—an open lake of bodies, sewage, and chemicals. When people fall in, they die very horrible deaths."

TenTen hadn't had much of an appetite before. Now, she wanted to know how the crops were raised.

"Want me to go on to the poultry? The cattle? The _slaughterhouses_?"

"Pass."

"Okay, I'll skip the cattle fed chicken poop and the chickens boiled alive."

"Thanks."

"It's required reading, anyway."

"…What?"

"Oh, right, Schlosser left that part out, mostly."

"Huh?"

"Juniors have to read certain books, including a commentary on American food. You'll have fun."

"Joy."

…

A bathrobe was one thing.

But wearing a full outfit, one that Aubrey had made from _air_, was more than a little uncomfortable.

Especially in a place as public as this. An indoor market called a "mall," with high ceilings and two seemingly endless rows of shops separated by a stretch of tile and carpet. It was all gray and brown and green, earth-toned, but glowed with signs and posters and clothes in windows.

It was quite a sight, and it smelled funny.

Aubrey walked beside her in "cropped" dark blue jeans called "capris" and a black top called a "military" tee (because of the slightly lengthened sleeves, or something). She'd formed a slightly altered version for TenTen, red "capris" similar to her old pants and a white "tee."

At least hers didn't show every curve like Aubrey's, or show every other inch of skin like a lot of people's… Wait, weren't pants supposed to go _above_ the rear?

"Don't stare at the saggers," Aubrey sighed. "They may assume that you're interested."

"Ew."

"Yeah. Shreveport made a law against saggy pants. Bossier hasn't. Sucks for us, ne?"

"But we're going to school in Shreveport, right?"

"Yeah, but Bossier has the better mall."

"Really."

"Really. For instance, neither of Shreveport's malls has _this_."

"_This"_ was clearly not the norm. No other store had black trim like this or a mesh entrance like this or dripping red letters like this. "Hot Topic."

"Yep. We'll be going there, later." Aubrey kept walking, showing TenTen more of the mall and the "mainstream" shops. One even had posters of women posing in underwear.

"Victoria's Secret," Aubrey explained. "Underwear capital of female America."

"Oh. Uhm…"

"There are other places to go."

"Phew…"

"And now for the clothes."

TenTen quickly decided that Ino would have a field day here. Skimpy tank tops, tiny skirts and shorts, ripped jeans, flashy and filled with references she didn't yet get. "Hawaii?"

"Tropical paradise; very popular vacation spot."

"Ah." Could the music be any louder?

"Do you see anything that you'd be willing to wear?"

"_No._"

"Really?"

"Hrm…" TenTen cast a reluctant eye over the racks. The t-shirt had gaudy designs and sparkles and bright colors, but some seemed okay. Pants… They were either ripped, tiny, clingy, or all of the above. Some of the in-between had a _lot_ of pockets, but looked okay.

"Cargo capris?" Aubrey mused.

TenTen shrugged. "If that's what you call them."

"They're lightweight and good for the next 2 to 3 months. What about tops?"

"Some are gaudy, some are too revealing, and the rest are both."

"Heh. True."

"You're not wearing this stuff," TenTen noted.

"That's because I don't wear much mainstream stuff," Aubrey beamed.

"So then why do I have to?"

"You don't."

"Then why—"

"I just wanted you to know all of your options."

"Hn."

"Want to at least try on the pants?"

"Fine."

Aubrey nodded, eyes moving along TenTen's waist. "I'd put you at about an eight." She moved to the cargo capri rack, looking through the pale brown fabric. "To be safe, I'll also grab a six and a ten."

"I have a ninety-one-centimeter waist."

"Thirty-six inches by American measurement. But this system doesn't use the actual measurements so much as the pre-made ones. Like that girl over there." Aubrey nodded toward a girl who was a walking paradox. Expensive clothes, half-starved. "Size zero." Her gaze moved to another girl, also rail-thin but healthier-looking. "Size two." She gestured toward her own waist, which barely looked bigger. "Size six." She then discreetly glanced at a much bigger, dark-skinned woman. A relative of the Cloud Village? "Size _thirty-six_."

Yeek.

"Anything else you'd like to try on?"

Two more pairs of pants, and a reasonable shirt or two, and Aubrey led TenTen to a room with so many little changing stalls. They then went to the end, where her guide showed her the big one. Figured she would.

Once inside, Aubrey turned her head to allow her charge some privacy. TenTen pulled off the comfortable fabric of her pants and pulled on the equally loose, but coarser, first pair of "cargo capris" that Aubrey had pulled.

Damn, that was a low waist! It felt like the pants were struggling to stay on, and there was even a line of visible skin around her middle! Not as bad as Ino, but still.

"You think that's bad?" Aubrey smirked.

"What?"

"Sit down with your back to the mirror, hug your knees, and turn around."

TenTen's frown deepened, but she complied, found herself in the mirror, and looked for what she was supposed to see.

She found it. She flushed.

She could see halfway down her butt!

The fabric didn't shoot back up with TenTen, so she quickly pulled it up, nearly wedgieing herself in the process. What the Hell!

Then, she saw the smirk on Aubrey's face.

"You knew this would happen."

"Yep."

"You—"

"Forgive me for interrupting, but there's something I may need to explain." Aubrey lifted her own shirt, until TenTen could finally see a pale line of skin.

"Look at where my jeans end."

Right below the navel.

"Look at where your capris end."

Right above the crotch.

"These are the two extremes; high-waist and low-cut. See how much fabric I have?"

"Yep." She got it, now. Jeez. "Where can I get some high-cuts?"

"Probably not here. Care to try the tops?"

"Sure," she said dryly.

She hated them, for a host of new reasons.

This place… was HUGE.

"Dillard's" was a HUGE store compared to the rest (not to mention most back home), to the point that it seemed to have no end. Racks, displays, make-up, etc, and a funny smell.

"Here we go; Not Your Daughter's Jeans."

"…"

"Oh, the name? Yeah, these are for people who hate low-cut pants."

"Older people?"

"Yep. Most young-uns" (accent) "wear stuff from those boutiques."

"What the Hell…"

"Okay, let's see… Any you like?"

They all looked practically identical. All full-length and in either blue or black. But if they'd fit better…

TenTen shrugged, picked a couple that didn't have WAY too much fabric at the bottom (Aubrey seemed to love the ones with more "swish" than kimono sleeves), and again found herself in a dressing room.

Wow, they were actually _comfortable_. Heavier than she was used to, and as tight as any other American pants around her thighs, but a _definite_ improvement.

"Hey, Aubrey?"

"Yeah?"

"Are there any high-cut jeans not so… tight?"

Aubrey paused before nodding. "I know just the place; but first…"

…

What.

The.

Hell.

Thank the Buddha for letting her keep her Konoha sandals, because what the Hell was that? Sandals, yes. Tie-up, yes. A heel spike long enough to impale a cow, yes. Aubrey led TenTen through the women's section of a shoe store (the mall had at least _twenty_ of them…), pointing out more footwear ranging from practical to formal to ridiculous to torture.

"There are several subcategories of impracticality," Aubrey was explaining. "The most famous of these being high heels, even if movies say otherwise."

"You mean…"

"Femme fatale."

"Ah." _Enough said._

"On the opposite end of the spectrum, but equally impractical if not worse: flip-flops."

"Gee, I wonder why." A flat slab of foam with barely anything to hold it on. Brilliant.

"Shh…"

TenTen frowned, unsure of the sudden change. Then, she heard it.

Slap-clap, slap-clap, slap-clap.

Now, not only could the kunoichi _hear_ the anti-stealth flip-flops, she could see them slapping their owner—a teenage girl—'s feet. Yeah, TenTen was _not_ wearing those.

"Moving on," Aubrey continued, "the backless shoe."

_Wow_, this nation loved impracticality.

Here they were again. "Welcome to Hot Topic, home of anything you need to avoid conformity by conforming to the Code of Black, and poster store of all things Punk."

"And you're punk."

"More… _neutral _punk."

"Yeah, I haven't seen you with… short skirts… bright pink pants… or chains. …New Moon?"

"Butchers Vampyric folklore, part of a series that needs to burn."

"What? Myers is a _genius_!" a little blonde punk piped up. "Do you even _know_ good literature? Edward is _amazing_!"

"You're Team Edward?"

"YES!"

So her shirt said…

"Team Jacob!" another punk girl declared. So her jacket said…

"But Edward and Bella are meant to be!"

"But Jacob's so sweet! And he doesn't _abandon_ Bella. Who probably doesn't deserve him, anyway…"

"Edward!"

"Jacob!"

"_Edward._"

"_Jacob._"

TenTen had no idea what was happening.

"What about _you_?" the redhead asked.

"Me?" Aubrey asked with all the innocence of Kakashi.

"Yes!"

"Oh," the blonde scoffed. "She—"

"Team Alucard," Aubrey said, holding up the otherwise black band on her right wrist. "Because vampires aren't supposed to sparkle."

The blonde looked insulted. The redhead looked amused.

"What about _you_?" the blonde demanded.

"Me?" TenTen asked. Both girls nodded. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Both girls' jaws dropped. "HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT _**TWILIGHT**_?"

"The time of day?"

Aubrey was sniggering.

"NOOO~ the most amazing book ever with the most amazing hottie ever, Edward! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?"

"I'm not from here…"

"Where could you possibly be from to not—?"

"She's a foreign exchange student," Aubrey explained, stepping between TenTen and the near-psycho blonde.

"OMIGOD she must read—"

Aubrey groaned.

"_What_?" Palpable venom.

"Myers, signing books, here." Aubrey's head drooped as she covered her eyes and pointed over the fans' shoulders. Their eyes instantly widened and they spun around squealing.

"_SERIOUSLY?_"

Aubrey pulled TenTen behind a rack of shelves and called, "No."

Aubrey was quite skilled at projecting her voice, because both girls whirled toward the shelves on the opposite side of the store before racing to catch them.

"What's _up_ with them?" TenTen asked under the pounding music.

"Fangirls for a fictional character," Aubrey sighed. "In extreme proportions."

"And I thought _Neji's_ were annoying."

"They're not all that bad. And Neji had fangirls?"

"Rookie of the Year, calm, cool, intelligent, 'hottie'…" TenTen ended the list there, with air quotes to preserve her pride. "Yeah. Even in the Academy."

"Even though he looks like a blind girl?"

"Hey!" But TenTen couldn't suppress her smile.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Now over here we have…"

Buckles, chains, ruffles, black on black on polka dots. By the time that Aubrey led TenTen out (after the fangirls left to search them out), the almost twilight of the mall felt like noonday. There had been plenty of colorful t-shirts (more unknown references), but still.

It was nothing like mainstream stores.

She still didn't see much that she'd wear, though.

….

"Pool shoes."

"Yep."

"Really."

"Yep."

"So she's going swimming, later."

"I didn't say that."

Just when TenTen had seen some function for flip-flops, too.

"And welcome to Plato's Closet."

TenTen looked up as Aubrey parked the car (much more safely than Malgen-san) before a smaller, less daunting building. Much smaller, so that it was actually in proportion to the shrubs. Clothing, now rather familiar, was displayed in the large windows, beneath the bright red sign set onto the starch-white walls.

"Resale shops tend to offer more variety," Aubrey explained. She led TenTen inside, and that was a lot of clothing. Racks and racks and so little room between them…

"Can I help you?" a(nother) teenage girl asked from behind the counter.

"Not right now, thanks," Aubrey smiled. "Over here, TenTen."

…

Now she had a wardrobe. Ino would have been so proud, probably until she went through any of the three bags now sitting on TenTen's bed. Cargo capris and jeans, sleeveless tees, "military" tees, "baseball" tees, more modest v-necks (Aubrey tended to avoid cleavage as well), relax-cut jeans (sales girl: 'you _know_ those are guy jeans, right?' 'So?'), and two pairs of boot-cuts at Aubrey's suggestion. Apparently she was now classified as a tomboy. And a princess called "Lei-a."

So, what next? Cut the tags and wash everything! Well, maybe not "cut." Aubrey was about as good at curling and pulling them apart as TenTen was at slicing them off with a knife. Which she was enjoying immensely. Holding a knife, that is.

"So what weapons do you like?" Aubrey asked innocently.

"Any and all."

"Like Goedendags?"

"… Huh?"

"So what do you _specialize in_?"

"Projectiles." The Hell was a _Goedendag_?

"Coolness. Want a cooldown match?"

Instead of killing another stress ball and letting her muscles go limp? "Awesome."

"So what do you think of America?" Malgen-san asked, leaning on the door.

"The people are crazy, and the buildings are way too huge."

"That's nice."

"… Not really."

"I know. Did you find anything that was?"

TenTen thought about it. "The worker in Dillard's was nice enough. So was that guy who tried to ask me out, before he just got too annoying."

Aubrey sniggered.

"Who asked you out?" Malgen-san smiled.

"An Airline kid," Aubrey called.

Apparently, "Airline" was the big Bossier City high school.

"Did anyone ask _you_ out?"

"… Hai," Aubrey answered after a moment.

TenTen had been _way_ nicer than Aubrey. When a boy had tried the latter, she had responded in Japanese. By saying that squatting monkeys tell no lies.

"Oh, and the TV's ready, downstairs."

"Awesome. Thank you, mother."

"What now?" And why did TenTen have a bad feeling?

"We decided to let you know exactly what you're dealing with," Malgen-san sighed. "With a compilation of the American newscasts regarding Hi no Kuni*1."

That explained the bad feeling.

The Malgen couches may have been quite comfortable, but TenTen wasn't paying attention. Her eye was on the TV facing her, newswoman frozen upon it. In her hand was an item called a "stress ball," which Malgen-san assured her she would require.

Aubrey sat down beside her, Casclu the silver tabby quickly finding her lap. The "Shad Qualae" were perched atop the headrest, the dogs were lying about, and Malgen-san had a bowl of popcorn. Which was quite tasty, but TenTen wasn't in the mood. She was familiar enough with propaganda.

What had America made her country out to be?

Aubrey hit "Play."

"Welcome back," the woman said. "Today, President Obama signed the bill to send aid into the Asian Subcontinent, and a country called Hinokuni. The whole continent has been engulfed in war for well over a century now, and the turmoil has finally reached the point of requiring international aid. With Hinokuni now leveled by the third invasion in as many years, America has stretched out a helping hand. Reactions to the new bill are mixed, with protests that America does not have the economy to support this third-world nation, and we are just seeing a new Iraq. Others plead for the humanitarian cause, and hope to show that America is not too crippled to aid others. NBC News, Lacy Thurmond."

TenTen frowned. The military had stopped being humanitarian pretty quickly in. Probably right after the news time stamp of May 1, 2009.

"CBS News, Justin Leman. Two days ago, President Obama gave the green light for aid to Hinokuni, one of the larger nations on the Asian Subcontinent. Now Konoha, the military capital, has _declared war_ on the U.S."

"**WHAT?**" TenTen screamed.

"Details are slow, but what we do know is that the military leaders, ignoring the plight of the citizens and their own state of affairs, have refused American aid. The American military has been deployed to protect the humanitarian workers stationed there, and a call for peace has been sent by President Obama. For now, however, the stage is set for conflict. Keep your eyes here for further coverage. I'm Justin Leman, CBS at Six."

And so the tall tale emerged, of a terrorist military not even armed with modern weapons fighting the U.S. military, reinforcements, usage of child soldiers, famine, sickness, conditions too unstable and dangerous for direct media access (red flag), a series of nations still under monarchies, and enough blatant lies to make TenTen kill the stress ball. Finally…

July 7, 2009.

"American victory has been secured in Hinokuni," a newscaster proclaimed. "American forces landed in the heart of the rebel outpost, claiming a swift victory against Konoha's remaining forces. The survivors, the majority being child soldiers, have been hospitalized. Peace talks are now cleared to begin, with no comments yet available from Hinokuni's embassy in Washington…"

Gai-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, and Kakashi-sensei among them, held prisoner for all TenTen knew. The latter now acting Hokage, following Lady Tsunade's death on the front line.

No news appeared about twelve foreign exchange students from Konoha, or further information regarding peace talks in Washington besides their being "in discussion." They had left two months ago, a month into the fighting and days after Lady Tsunade's brief funeral. TenTen growled in anger, but it was hollow. These lies, supposedly believed by most of the suddenly much larger world, would be the biggest enemy. And with the reputation foisted upon Konoha…

They really did have some work to do. One more news segment was playing.

"New information has now surfaced, regarding the secretive Konoha camp during the war. Originally led by Konoha's government-appointed leader, Tsunade…"

Who was promptly painted as a gung-ho, short-tempered dictator sending soldiers on suicide missions—

"WHAT?" TenTen glared bloody murder at the supposed insider, who was clearly no shinobi of Konoha; she'd never seen him before in her life! Yet on he went, about the system designed to do nothing but strengthen the military and pull innocent children from unwilling families into the fray—_what_? And the elitism, and the authoritarian government, and the impoverished townspeople, and so many other blatant lies with an obviously fake accent that made TenTen want to scream.

And so she did, at least remembering the courtesy to muffle it into a pillow.

"Thank you, Colonel Shonenmaru," the newswoman smiled.

"Isn't that a boat name?" Malgen-san asked.

"Yeah, it's a ship in the Japanese whaling fleet," Aubrey nodded.

"Ah. …Does Konoha even _have_ colonels?"

"What the Hell is a colonel?" TenTen answered through the pillow.

"A rank in Western-style militaries," Aubrey sighed. "And in this case, a critical research failure."

"They'll be so easy to pick apart, later," TenTen smirked. "If they think they can get away with this. Is the embassy still in Washington?"

"Unfortunately," Aubrey sighed. "Getting you in contact with them is another priority, but first we need to reunite you with Hinata and Shino."

"And how's that coming?"

"We'll wait a week before trying anything. By then we should have clearance and enough space from the micromanagers." Aubrey glanced back at TenTen, and evidently saw something deemed less than likable. "C'mon."

"Huh?"

"There's still enough light for practice, and you're too tense."

She was. "Fine. One question, though."

"Hm?"

"What exactly is a 'Goedendag'?"

End of chapter.

_*1: I decided to go with the original Japanese, Hi no Kuni, for Land of Fire. It sounded better for the story's purpose, and allowed for a more subtle demonstration of the American misunderstanding. It __**is**__ three different words, after all._

_Sorry about the opening conversation. No, really, I HATE dulling my audience with facts, as this isn't anything remotely close to a social commentary or spoof on America (read as I will cram my stories with as many facts as I can, am a pre-law History Major, and am not the least bit sorry). I also apologize to any _Twilight _fans, as I am not insulting you for enjoying something so cliché and poorly researched. Do I have to apologize to _Smithfield Farms_ as well, since I do not own it (and it wouldn't exist if I did)? Tell me in a review!_

_Also, are you anywhere as mad as TenTen at the American media? Loath as I am to admit it, it wouldn't be the first time such stunts were pulled. World War II had propaganda from news to Looney Tunes to Disney to modern times on every side of the sea, the fact that Vietnam was televised was anti-war propaganda in itself, heck even Hussein's testimony was blatantly mistranslated. It's a natural part of the media, but again (hypocritical as it sounds), I am not trying to just egg every window in the US. I'm just casting American policy as the villain. See the hypocrisy? _^_^ _Oh, and should I have ended before the training idea, and have I done enough review prompts?_


	11. Hyperfast

_Just because this is Chapter 11 doesn't mean that I have to take it __**up to 11**__, right? Good, because this one won't do much for plot. It will, however, attempt to salvage TenTen's status as a Chunin of Konoha. I know that I have been failing on that point, so here's this and more reasons for me not to own _Naruto_._

"Goedendag."

"What accent was that?" TenTen's eyes trained on the weapon, a hardwood combination of a club's thickness and a staff's length. The real danger was the topper, one mother of a spike.

"Dutch."

"Why?"

"Because Goedendag is Dutch for 'Good Day'."

_Don't tell me…_

"Goedendag!" Aubrey sprang, moving far too quickly with a weapon like that. TenTen barely had time to dodge, never mind draw a weapon. Her trusty gloves may have had Konoha steel inserts, but that wouldn't protect her from the force of that thing. Not at that insane speed.

_Wait, insane?_ Hah. Comparing Aubrey to _Lee_, TenTen had remarkably little trouble dodging. She was quick to pull a chain sickle—Kusanari Kama, Japanese speaker!—and strike back, channeling the past month of prisonbed confinement into a Team Gai refresher course.

Aubrey sensed the change. She quickened her pace, still not at the level she had to fight Neji… But maybe that was intentional.

Right. Aubrey was a P.C.O—sworn to secrecy or else. If she was caught…

Yeah, right. That theory got tossed out the window when Aubrey's speed exploded. TenTen could keep up solely because of her training partner.

_Neji…_

Hardwood smacked into TenTen's gut; she flew back into a tree, and blinked stars away to see Aubrey charging. TenTen leaped into the tree, but it didn't stall her opponent in the slightest. Aubrey was right on her heels, swinging the Goedendag with near-deadly speed. And twisted the arc to avoid hitting a branch when TenTen dodged.

Not that that slowed her, or anything. No, TenTen could swing around trunks or branches or try to get behind her—only to be met with failure. No matter how silently, no matter how much she was obviously in Aubrey's blindspot. The reason why wasn't clear until Aubrey avoided hitting yet another branch, and TenTen almost stopped to kick herself.

Aubrey knew these trees. This was literally her home turf, and she knew it well enough that she was deliberately avoiding damaging it. TenTen couldn't sneak up on her.

She'd have to attack.

Which cost her dearly.

…

"Before we took to the trees," Aubrey said, checking the weapon-head, "you faltered."

_Dammit…_ TenTen also guessed that Aubrey could read minds.

"Neji's name flashed across your face."

Curses. Point TenTen.

"I'm not saying that you need to stop thinking about your teammates, but—"

"I know, and I don't need reminding. Emotions are a burden, and all focus must be solely on the mission. All else is a burden." _Neji's old words of wisdom._

"Paradoxically, this is a rather emotional mission."

"Possibly my most emotional one to date." TenTen pondered this. "No, definitely. _Definitely_ my most emotional. That changes nothing."

"Really."

TenTen turned to the new voice, Casclu. Cold blue cat eyes, analyzing her.

"And when the time comes to confront your former teammate," the demon asked coolly, "will you _logic_ his memories back?"

"Knowing Neji… And what do you mean by former—"

Casclu ignored the last part. "What use would he have for a steely, emotionless girl?"

"More than he had before," TenTen smiled wryly.

"And he would trust you? A girl with no emotion?"

"He's a glacier."

Does he take into account sincerity?"

"Of course. It's one of the first ways he evaluates…" _**Oh.**_

"Sincerity is emotion."

…

It had been so inconceivable, TenTen hadn't even thought of the fact that she was now probably a stranger to Neji. When she saw him next, he wouldn't know her; wouldn't remember her, wouldn't take her into his arms as he had.

TenTen groaned, and set the book of American history onto her lap. The diehard researcher she was, with a library like that at her disposal downstairs, and she couldn't even focus. There was so much to learn about her enemy, so many potential locations to research, and yet…

Neji had so much emotion at their last meeting. Now, he didn't even remember _Konoha_, never mind _her_. He didn't remember his own family, his father, even himself, probably. Trying to imagine such a Neji was like trying to think of Neji getting a haircut… Wait, they wouldn't cut his hair, would they?

…..

["I will _not_ get a haircut."

"Why not?" Lee asked in his new (read as: stupid, disturbing, fashion nightmare) green suit. "It would be so much more aerodynamic if it was cut like Gai-sensei's!"

"TenTen's _buns_ are more practical than that thing. It blows everywhere, Lee."

"That is not the point!"

"It may as well be." Neji motioned his own ponytail with as much energy as he could spare. (Given that today was doomed to be training, it wasn't much.) "Emulate the man as you wish, but don't expect me to do the same."

Lee gave him the "I will teach you the error of your ways in a fight" Look before turning expectantly to… "TenTen."

"Ditto on Neji."

"_TenTen…_" the bowl-cut whined.

"I am _not_ cutting my hair. How else would I pull it back?"

"You would not need to! Trust me, I once had long hair as well—"

"I know. But now you'll need regular trims to keep _this_—" (she ruffled his bangs) "out of your eyes."

"I already did that."

True. And really, Lee did look more polished. She'd never admit that it looked good on him, though. Having the only other Chinese kid turn into a mini-Gai was just creepy. "Do what you want to your own… fashion tastes… but leave mine alone."

"—"

"GOOD MORNING, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!"

"GOOD MORNING, GAI-SENSEI!"

So much for his rebuttal. TenTen turned her attention to Neji, who looked oddly amused. "What is it?"

"Hn."

Was it just her imagination, or had Neji gotten colder since the babysitting mission? He had never been all _that_ friendly, but still.

"ALRIGHT!" Gai-sensei called (bellowed). "WHO'S READY TO TRAIN?"

"I AM, GAI-SENSEI!"

"FANTASTIC! HERE WE GO!"

"HAI, GAI-SENSEI!" Lee and Gai-sensei took off (exploded) from the clearing, leaving TenTen and Neji to sigh before following.

At least they agreed on what annoyed them. Like their arrival, thanks to Lee gazing up at Gai-sensei as if he was Hokage.

Oh, _God_, Gai-sensei as Hokage. TenTen shuddered at the thought, and got a passing stare from Neji for her trouble.

"MY STUDENTS!" (Guess who?) "Do you remember our first exercise as a team?"

"YES, GAI-SENSEI!"

Yes. They'd blundered about individually, failing to grab either stupid bell, until Neji had gotten fed up and put together a plan. A plan that Gai-sensei had literally punched through, but at least he passed them.

And cried Tears of Youth, but still.

In short, yes; they all remembered their first team exercise. Unfortunately.

So, wait, why was he bringing it up?

"We're doing it, AGAIN!"

_WHY?_

….

"Okay," Neji sighed after scanning for Gai-sensei within range of hearing. "Lee and I will go in first, giving TenTen time to set several traps around the stream thickets. When Gai-sensei passes the boulder, Lee and I will break off. If we fail to capture him there, TenTen will cover Lee and a clone of myself while I sneak up from behind. If that fails, TenTen, you need to knock the bells away from him with a kunai. I'll cover him until Lee can secure the bells. Understand?"

"Hai," Lee whispered (tried to whisper). TenTen just nodded.

"Okay, then. Gai-sensei is about 50 meters South, in the clearing. We'll try to give TenTen ten minutes."

…..

Eleven minutes later, TenTen had an extra minute to set an extra two snares. All past the boulder, several concealed just badly enough for Gai-sensei to spot and avoid them. And walk into others.

The calls were getting too close. TenTen leaped upward along a safe route, into thick enough cover.

Gai-sensei leaped back from several kunai, and barely avoided the first snare. Neji had his Byakugan, so TenTen signaled that it was safe until they reached Gai-sensei.

Neji charged again, stopping short at the last second to throw kunai. Gai-sensei jumped back, and felt the trip wire. A branch fell in front of him, sending him leaping about a deathstretch of snares and nets and flying logs. Even when he dodged, the next trap made it worth it. Well, that and Lee's faces.

"TenTen!" Gai-sensei called. "You have truly outdone yourself!"

TenTen gave no response save a wider smirk, even when Gai-sensei had punched away the last log. Until TenTen started setting off more traps, indicating the last line. Previously dodged logs swung back, downed nets shot upward, and snares danced on strings.

Still, TenTen wished for a chance to throw kunai when she ran out of traps. That left Lee and Neji (presumably a clone) to try and take him.

There was the real Neji, spotted by TenTen only because she was above him. He was crouched on a lower branch across the path, ready to spring, fingers flexed.

And then he was gone, leaping at Gai-sensei's blindspot.

Gai-sensei dodged the blow, caught him by the ankle, swung him into his own clone, and let him roll along the ground in the remaining smoke.

One plan left. Using the last of the clone for a smokescreen, TenTen threw one senbon to sever the bell string. It sliced, the bells went flying, Neji blocked Gai-sensei from retrieval, and Lee dove for the bells.

Only for Gai-sensei to kick them higher.

TenTen threw another senbon for a redirect, Neji tripped Gai-sensei, and Lee caught the rebound.

"YES!" Lee cried. "We did it!"

"GOOD JOB," Gai-sensei smiled, with a most enthusiastic thumbs-up. TenTen jumped down, joining Neji in a victory smirk and warm fuzzies (rare) all around. Victory was sweet.

Gai-sensei's victory hug was not.

…

Cleanup wasn't much fun, either, but at least it wasn't high kick training. TenTen looped another stretch of wire onto the spool, and stowed another net in her scroll.

"You certainly went all-out," Neji commented from his meditation spot.

"I had the time," TenTen shrugged.

"Gai-sensei seemed adverse to being led."

"I wasn't complaining about it."

"GAI-SENSEI, THAT IS AMAZING!"

"How about the time I…"

TenTen sighed. "_That_, however, I will probably complain about. I'm glad that he's got more confidence, but this is ridiculous."

"Good. I don't want to deal with another Gai-clone."

"_Me?_ A Gai-clone?" That was offending.

"It would be more believable than me."

"Can't see yourself as a Gai-clone?"

"Hn. Not with that idiotic smile."

TenTen groaned, brain breaking at the thought. "Worst stand-up routine, ever."

"That's a horrible joke."

"Yeah. Especially if Gai-sensei did the punch line…"

Oh, Buddha, the mental image! Her with a pink forehead protector, Neji with a happy yellow one… By the looks of it, he was having the same horrible thought.

"We shall never speak of this again," Neji ordered.

"… Agreed."]

Talons poked gently into her shirt, and TenTen blinked to see a green dragoness—Samantra—perched on her shoulder.

"Ha-hai?"

"Anoh has news," she said before flying off. And dodging Zath. And watching Mer flame his rump aglow.

TenTen smiled despite herself, folded the dust jacket to mark her place in the book, and stroked Fenrir before rising. Her arms were still a bit sore from the vaccinations (two per arm), but she was able to ignore it. Her body was still humming from practice, after all.

TenTen found Aubrey—_Anoh_—in the study.

…Why was she smiling?

"What's up?" Ha, she knew colloquialisms!

"I just got off the phone with one of our classmates."

"And?"

"We're going to Six Flags."

Apparently, TenTen was supposed to be happy about this.

End of chapter.

_Yeah, I've been hitting the mood whiplash a little too much. Combat to serious to happy flashback… You probably won't get the stand-up reference without a certain Filler episode, but how was the rest? And the idea of Aubrey skipping TenTen off to an amusement park two hundred miles away? I want REVIEWS! _


	12. Highway to Hell

_This rather long (by my standards) chapter is my way of apologizing to the poor readers who have been waiting for a month for a bloody update. If you guys haven't lost interest, but yeah; a__ dozen chapters down, I dunno how many to go. A lot. I have a sequel in the works, because this fic is gonna be way long, otherwise. Not that it already won't be, but, yeah. I don't own _Naruto _or _Black Lagoon_. If you haven't at least read one chapter of the latter, the next couple may not be too fun for you. Or maybe it will. Read and find out._

Apparently, Aubrey wasn't the biggest fan of American music. Most of her favorite bands were, instead, European. Why did TenTen know this? Simple.

Aubrey was showing her the music selection.

_Eyes Set to Kill_, actually American. The song titles were also quite interesting. "Heights," "Hourglass," "Deadly Weapons," (now TenTen would _have_ to listen), "Interflude," "The World Outside"…

"You may like that one," Casclu told her.

Cautiously TenTen fumbled the player closed, found Track 5, and hit "Play." She was greeted by, of all things, a piano solo.

"_Isn't this nice,"_ a woman's voice sang. _"My own worst enemy, taking control of things…"_

Now why did this sound familiar? (Sarcasm)

"_Now is the time; this is the melody, this is the symphony, now hear my __**cry**__."_

She could hear the emotion rising.

"_There's no words beneath, there's no in-between; there's no alibi to make this __**right**__…"_

When was this written?

"_No behind the scenes, everything you see's… Once you get to fight_

_**The World Outside!**_

_It's changing me, changing me~ to who I'm afraid of._

_**I~**__ can't con-fide in anything._

_The crowd will not rest tonight."_

The song continued, mirroring a lot of TenTen's own feelings. A lot of their songs did that. "Hour Glass," "Deadly Weapons," "Come Home," and especially "Wake Me Up." They weren't an exact match, most notably the "if you never decided to leave" line, but still.

"Which ones are Aubrey's favorite?"

"Hm… Leaves' Eyes, Nightwish, Xandria…"

Leaves' Eyes caught her eye. "Njord," "My Destiny" (haha), "Emerald Island," "Take the Devil in Me"… "Holy Bond" made her wonder. But, she caved to the inside joke and picked "My Destiny."

"_My destiny… I made a promise I couldn't keep."_

Not funny.

"_I left my love on northern ground._

_My destiny… my destiny~"_

Not funny, no matter how good the singer was. Creepy, and bad foreshadowing.

"_I'm so lost, I am __**damned**__. In this gray lonely world __**I'm damned**__."_

Yeah, change.

"Try 'Northbound'."

TenTen gave the cat a look, wondered how she had wound up trusting the song choices of a cat, and skipped ahead to Track 8.

"_I have come by the sea where you walked._

_I'm returning to where I belong, I've traveled_

_Through countries and foreign lands;_

_I have tasted the wine of the Euphedia."_

And?

"_**Northbound~**__**Each day I yearn without you**_

_Is a day without a sound. Each day I lost without you_

_**Is a king without his crown.**__"_

So it was similar.

"_In her eyes burns a love that will guard her on her way._

_Northbound, I can only rely on my will to go…_

_**North, agai~n…**__"_

Not North.

West.

Konoha was to the West, and Neji was in who knew what direction.

"_North, agai~ain."_

Considering that most of the US was north of Louisiana…

That was NOT funny. TenTen cursed her long-lived love of fortune telling, and the included habit of finding signs in everything.

"Heard any loud rock, yet?" That was Aubrey.

"Do Leaves' Eyes or Eyes Set to Kill count?"

"Eyes Set to Kill, depending. Leaves Eyes, not so much." Aubrey then began looking over the CD shelf.

"Why'd you ask, anyway?"

"Our car mates will prefer it. Or at least the three I know." Aubrey then pulled out… Rob Zombie.

It was loud.

"It's an estimated four-hour ride," Aubrey explained over strains of "Living dead girl(?)." "I recommend summer reading and an mp3 player, if you don't like it."

"Great. So what exactly is the plan?"

"Well we'll leave at six, so we'll get there by 10 to 11. Maybe 9, given Mom's driving."

Oh God.

"Six meaning when we're rolling away from the other fours' homes."

"Seven people in the Malgen-mobile?" The Malgen-mobile with five seats and—more importantly—five seatbelts?

"We'll manage. So then we'll go bungee jumping and possibly have a shoot-out. Then we'll go gator wrestling, since everything's bigger than Texas, possibly also dodging some monkey poop, buy knives, and try to be back by midnight. Sound fun?"

"Uhh… _what_?"

"Go to the Six Flags amusement park and enjoy the arcade, then go to the Dallas Aquarium and mall that sells weaponry when it gets too hot. We'll drive home on the same day.

"That's not the same thing."

"You'd be surprised."

…

It was five in the morning. Not the most obscene wake-up time in the history of Team Gai, but enough that TenTen needed a good wake-up yawn. So did Fenrir.

"TenTen?"

"I'm awake." (Shinobi internal alarm.)

"Okay, breakfast is in ten."

"Got it."

And so, much to the sorrow of the warm, soft dog, TenTen dragged herself out of bed and to the closet. She was halfway through pulling on jeans when she remembered Aubrey's warning: "Dress for an outdoor furnace." Cargo capris it was, with a black military tee to hide the sweat spots and match the camouflage. If memory served, she was now a "punk."

Did "punks" wear their hair in panda buns?

TenTen wasn't sure, but she certainly felt odd with her Konoha headband serving as her belt. It was a tribute to the Green Machines, and an excuse to tuck in the shirt for comfort, but it still felt odd.

Were the others wearing their hitai-e? Probably not one half, if they even still had them. Hinata and Shino, most likely yes. Lee, more than likely yes. Shikamaru and (especially) Sai she didn't know well enough to be certain. TenTen traced the Leaf Symbol to the hem of her shirt, and then the visible red dragon printed up to her neckline.

Then to her necklace, the one that she never even took off to shower because the metals were non-corrosive. Youth, Guts, and her resilient Twin Dragons.

…..

"Good morning," Malgen-san smiled from the counter, drink bottles in hand. "Water, lemonade, tea, or coke for the road?"

"Water, please."

Another two bottles added to the cooler. Beside Malgen-san, Sammy was stirring something over a small pot on the stove. It smelled a bit like rice porridge… And looked like it, too, except darker. She would probably need a bowl… Cabinet opposite the stove, left of the sink, right?

Yes, because Aubrey was pulling bowls from said cabinet's bottom shelf. And "silverware" from the drawer below.

…What was she staring at?

"You had Western clothing back in Konoha, didn't you?"

"Hai, mainly through Japan. Why?"

"Your clothing shows it. In a good way."

…Oh-kay. And apparently this kind of porridge was called "oatmeal." And tasted better with honey and/or brown sugar, but the raisins and blueberries weren't for everybody.

And that meant TenTen, who wound up preferring the fruit _not_ in her porridge.

…

The Malgen-mobile had grown an extra row of seats, aka a meter in length. Which was not standard in American cars, fortunately for Konoha (read as "unfortunately for TenTen's sanity"). The same could be said of Malgen-san's driving, hence why it had taken a few extra seconds of deep breathing for TenTen to even consider stepping inside the vehicle. There had to be some inherent structural weakness due to the sudden extension. There were countless ways for the mechanical monstrosity (yes she had seen under the hood) to fail. There were even more ways for Malgen-san to get them all killed!

…..

"When that sign said 'Speed Limit'…"

"It meant the maximum speed, in miles per hour, at which one can legally drive on this road."

"Ah. But…" The Malgen-mobile's "speedometer"…

"You can drive over it, so long as it's less than ten over," Malgen-san explained (justified).

"And the speedometer is the middle one?"

"Yep."

"The needle's at 78."

"Yep."

"The speed limit's 55."

"Yep."

"78 minus 55 is 23."

"Yep."

"Moving on," Aubrey cut in (from the front seat), "you don't know much about our playmates."

_Playmates? Seriously?_

"They go by Dutch, Revy, Benny, and Rokuro. Well, the first three call the latter 'Rock,' and are seniors at Magnet; Rokuro's a junior, and a foreign exchange student like you're supposed to be."

"Where's he from?"

"Japan."

"Civilian?"

"According to Revy, he couldn't be anything else. I haven't really met him yet, but you may get along with the other three. They may make good allies, and at the very least they're not overly idealistic about America."

"What're they like?"

"Dutch is the group leader. A good mixture of tough and calm, among other things. He's also black, and if you call him an African American he'll think you're a pansy."

"Is this different from ethnic foods?"

It was then that TenTen got the overview of the Land of the Free's (amusingly ironic, yet quite appropriate) history of slavery, civil rights movements, and ensuing mother load of double standards (race, gender, class, etc.) and chronic political correctness. Aubrey barely had time for an overview of Benny and Revy (really more of a warning regarding the latter) before they pulled up to their first stop.

Dutch and Revy, who happened to live in the same apartment complex. Aubrey was already dialing.

"Hey, Revy. Did you just wake up?" "No, I haven't called Dutch, yet." "That's because I knew that you wouldn't be up when I called." "Do I have to come pick your lock, again?" "Okay, see you in five." "Or I'll bring my Supersoaker." "She hung up on me."

…

And so Aubrey started dialing, again. "Hey, Dutch." "Yeah, Revy's just now up." "Really, she was? Maybe I'll see her in sooner than five, then." "… It was a joke." "Okay, I see you." She promptly hung up, opened the door, and stood on the step thing to call over the roof of the car-van-jeep thing. "**Hey, Dutch.**"

TenTen recognized the description long before he answered with a wave. _Huge_ guy, all muscle, there was no way he was only one year Neji's senior, never mind her own. The sunglasses and shaved head didn't help, either, adding an extra couple of years if anything. He also had a shinobi-esque vest, even if the baggy pants and combat boots weren't of the Konoha style.

He also acted older than a civilian should. That cool smile, deep voice, air of a leader. By the time Aubrey went around the hood and bumped fists with him, TenTen already knew that she would have to be cautious of him.

Naturally, he took the other middle-row seat. If any of the others were his size, the back row would be miserably cramped. "Hey," he smiled. "You're the exchange student from Konoha?"

"Yeah." TenTen took the offered hand and shook. And gave him as hard a hand squeeze as she received. "TenTen. You're Dutch?" Who smelled like a smoker?

"That's me." Dutch closed the door, shutting off the warming morning as Aubrey came back around and sat in front of TenTen. They sat in the visitor's spot, talking for another three minutes before Dutch muttered, "_Finally_."

A too-small black tank top. An arm and shoulder half-covered by tattoos, denim shorts tinier than TenTen's swimsuit bottoms, messy black ponytail and bangs. A look in half Chinese eyes that reminded TenTen of orphans-turned-soldiers she'd met—and fought—on missions.

"Don't judge her too quick," Dutch murmured, eyes ever-hidden. "Not just yet."

TenTen nodded, even if she knew exactly what she was looking at.

Aubrey had resumed the out-of-car greeting position. "Hey, Revy."

"Hey, Rey," Revy called with a half-cocked grin. She sounded even less 18 than she looked. "Where's that Supersoaker?"

"In my hand. It's the one invisible to late sleepers."

"Hahaha. Very funny, bitch. Hey, Miz M." (Was that some version of Miss Malgen?)

"Hey, Revy. Guess who's riding in the back."

"Wait, _what_?" Revy looked past Aubrey to the middle seats, one occupied by Dutch and the other by… "Who's the Chink?"

"TenTen," the 'Chink?' said. "From Konoha."

"Yeah?" Revy asked as the elbowed her way around Dutch—and flooded TenTen's nose with the stink of cigarette smoke. "How the Hell'd ya get dragged here?"

"Foreign exchange program."

That made Revy fall into the seat behind her, cackling like a lunatic. "Yeah? This before or after Uncle Sam piledrived yer front door?"

"After." TenTen didn't know the exact meaning of "piledrive," but she did know that there was something surprisingly likable about Revy.

"Buckle up," Malgen-san called lightly.

That sobered Revy up.

…..

"We are now approaching Nerdland," Revy called in a mocking tone not unlike the airlines. "Hide all shiny technology, and do not pet the geeks."

"Nice to see you too, Revy," Benny sighed as he took the other back window seat. He wasn't quite as tall as Dutch, and way skinnier, but his curly blond ponytail was neater than Revy's. He also had glasses, which added to the generally amiable persona. Even the flowery button-down and flip-flops did that, silly as they were.

The other one, however, was a whole new level of neatness and kindness—if not outright gullibility. White polo, nice jeans, neat black hair with side-swept bangs…

"Thank you for taking us with you," Rokuro smiled at Malgen-san.

Holy cow.

A Japanese accent.

A wave of homesickness washed over TenTen as Malgen-san smiled that "It's our pleasure. And you'll be going to school with Aubrey and TenTen."

"You're the one from Konoha?" Benny asked.

And everyone stared. Until they made Malgen-san watch the road.

"Yeah, that's me," TenTen sighed.

"Not our shining moment," Benny sighed back.

"Since when've we even _had_ one of those?" Revy snorted. "World War II?"

Rokuro looked appalled. "Should you really say that about your own country?"

"I'll fuckin' say whatever the hell I want," Revy told the boy in the middle. "First frickin' amendment, got it?"

Rokuro—clearly a good boy back home—had no way to respond to that.

"Not your kinda language," Dutch smiled, "eh Rock?"

"Nicknames, again?" Malgen-san asked.

"Yep," Revy called. "Speakin' a which, what about TenTen? Twenty?"

"No," Benny drawled, "it would be ten _times_ ten. One hundred."

"And a hundred yen fer every dollar," Revy smirked, "let's call her Yen. Hey, it even rhymes with ten!"

"Wrong country," TenTen and Rokuro deadpanned.

"And why is it always money with you?" Malgen-san teased.

"Is not!" Rev protested. "_You're_ the one who doesn't let us smoke in the car!"

As if all four—even Rokuro— didn't smell like cigarette smoke, already.

"I like my lungs pink, thanks," Aubrey called.

"Got any drinks, then?"

"Sure. Water, lemonade, tea, or coke. Specifically Dr. Pepper."

"I meant the good stuff!"

"You don't mean saké?" Rokuro asked, shocked.

"No, I meant whiskey! Vodka! Sumthin' with buzz, buzzkill."

TenTen decided that this was a good time to hear the whole "Eyes Set to Kill" album on that "walkman" from Aubrey. Leaves' Eyes wasn't loud enough.

"Holy crap, it's a CD player!"

"THEY STILL EXIST?"

"_Takes hold of me… Taking me to heights you'll never see—"_

Hooray for irony. Right now, TenTen was _living_ off of it.

…That absolutely could _not_ be a human voice. Aubrey had warned TenTen about screamers, and the instruments that were used to achieve it, but still. At least the female singer made up for it, even if she had nothing on Hinata. Maybe the next song would be better…

"**I'M TRAPPED! IN AN **_**HO-URGLASS**_**!**"

…Or not. "Hour Glass" wasn't any better the second time through, then. _Why _had she expected to like this band, again?

Because the title had reminded her of Neji, of course.

"_Every grain is another day. Every day becomes another waste._

_I'll never find my way. I'm numb to the taste._

_Do you remember the days_

_When you still knew my fa~ace?"_

And the uncanniness was lost again to screaming. Still, it was a potent reminder of her mission: to save the others and return to Konoha, _not_ to go to an amusement park. If the enemy weren't watching her every move outside of Malgen-house (and she wasn't hopelessly unfamiliar with America), she'd run off and find her teammates right now.

"_One choice remains._

_Do you remember the days_

_When you still knew my fa~ace"_

Yeah, saving Neji who didn't even know who she was, anymore.

…That sentence seemed too contradictory to live.

Neji + amnesia + vulnerable enough to need saving = ?.

Yeah, pretty much. Lee instead of Neji, maybe. Probably not, given the guy's now inhuman strength, but Lee was the one who got himself into such positions all the time. Maybe not this bad, but still. Like that time at the Chunin Exams. That had been a pretty stupid one. In fact, she had told him so.

…

"Ugh, Lee," TenTen sighed. "You know that was stupid, right?"

Lee didn't reply.

"Not only did you get hurt, but she's not even on our team!" TenTen would have tugged the bandage too tight, but there was no bandage. There was no cut requiring a bandage. There was an _ear injury_. An _ear injury_ that had effectively rendered the most physical member if their taijutsu-based team immobile. "LEE!"

"Lee." Neji's ice-cold voice cut through Lee's daze far more effectively than TenTen's shouts. "Your personal life beyond this cell is none of my concern, but _do not_ allow it to compromise this team again. Understand?"

"What?"

Neji glared.

"I am sorry. My hearing seems to be… be…"

Were Lee's eyebrows always that… _mobile_?

Thud.

Lee had passed out.

"Dammit," both cursed. TenTen facepalmed, Neji pinched his brow, and neither looked happy.

Most likely because neither was.

"Next time I see Sound ninja, Sakura, or a squirrel, I'm gonna…" TenTen groaned, shaking her head yet again. "Neji, can you take a look at him?"

"Hn." He already was. "Nothing's changed. It shouldn't last for too much longer."

"But for now we're stuck here."

"Hn," Neji nodded.

"Dammit, Lee…"

"In the interim," Neji said in a lower voice, "an enemy squad is attempting to surprise us."

"Great, just great," TenTen almost shouted.

"Hn," Neji said in normal tones. "Calm down."

"I AM CALM." TenTen began juggling several kunai.

"Really. How so?"

"Like this!" TenTen's throws hit the two enemy senbon, then the enemy that had thrown them. Said enemy yelled, another called out the name "Daichi," and the third attacked. Neji downed him in two blows, and the second enemy pulled the third up with chakra strings before both retreated.

Neji watched them a full minute before nodding.

"Jeez," TenTen sighed as she collected her kunai. "No joke when they named the place."

"Death is hardly a joking matter." It wasn't the last time that day that Neji would call early warning on an enemy attack, nor was it the hardest battle they'd have.

The Chunin Exams were all the challenge they'd hoped for.

…

The Chunin Exams were more of a challenge than TenTen had wanted. Gai-sensei had let Lee fall under the enemy genjutsu, from what the kunoichi had been able to see. No choice, given Lee's current state, but still.

TenTen deflected another enemy kunai before sending her own back, struggling to reach her sensei. She watched Sakura, Naruto, Shikamaru, and a _dog_ slip through a Maito-Gai-prepared hole, undoubtedly going after Sasuke and the Sand ninja. _How_ Naruto could go anywhere after fighting Neji was partially beyond her, but she didn't dwell on it. Not now.

"TenTen!"

"Hai, Gai-sensei!"

"TenTen, there is a specific task I must ask of you."

"Sir."

"Check on Neji and the medics below. The enemy will undoubtedly target them."

Of course they would. "Understood."

"Good luck!"

"Same to you!"

TenTen took off for the nearest hall, sticking a mirror around every corner she came to. The sounds of clashing kunai echoed from above, but didn't follow, and soon TenTen was in the hall where she _should_ have found the participants' rooms.

Enemy! TenTen froze before she turned the corner and pressed against the wall.

"So this is Konoha's great Hyuuga prodigy…"

"Don't get too close. He's probably still dangerous."

"Then you can take him out," the first teased. "All the way from the door."

"Fine." Clink. "I'll take this one."

TenTen heard a faint growl, Neji being too proud to concede weakness.

"Aww, brat won't admit he's a wittwe bit scawed," the first one teased. "Jun, throw the kunai."

"Jeez, you have no patience. Fine, here—"

TenTen whirled around the corner and threw two kunai. One hit the enemy kunai. The other hit the enemy. Square in the temple bone, the weakest part of the skull. She forced herself not to think too hard about it.

"Jun..!"

TenTen ran along the wall, and was at the door before the enemy mirror. She effortlessly swung in and dropped the Otonin with one of Lee's signature kicks, hard enough to hit his head against the floor and knock him unconscious. She took it as a chance to take a deep, shuddering breath. And another.

Neji was lying on the bed and staring at her, the only one in the room. TenTen quickly dragged the enemy inside and locked the door, before binding him and running to her teammate's bedside. He was staring at her like he'd never seen her before.

"Neji, are you okay?" she whispered.

"Yes. What about you, you just—"

"If it was for you, fine, I'd do it again, but I'd rather not think about it now. How are you feeling?"

Neji sighed and nodded. He had some bandages here and there, but it was clear that the main problem was sheer exhaustion. "I've felt worse. What's going on?"

"Sand and Sound have launched a full-scale invasion. Gaara and his teammates fled the arena to launch some operation, and Sasuke went after them. A 4-man squad including Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru, and one of Kakashi's dogs followed. Most of the stadium's been knocked out by enemy genjutsu, Lee included, and the ninja still awake are fighting the enemy in the stands. Gai-sensei sent me down here for you and the medics."

Neji frowned, digesting the information before nodding and slowly sitting up.

"What're you doing?"

"Hn."

TenTen crossed her arms and frowned down at her teammate (an odder position than she let on). "Neji, no way. You're in no shape to fight." His arms were shaking, for mercy's sake!

The subtle difference that she'd detected faded beneath his glare. "This isn't the time."

Just because he had no bite now didn't mean that he wouldn't, later. Easy as it would be to concede and defend this room, especially with her current mood, she knew that she'd have to get him to the bunkers. And then there were the medics… "Let's get you somewhere safe."

"Hn." Ice glare.

Doorknob click. TenTen drew a kunai as someone gasped. Thud.

Whoever tried to open the door found it locked, but hurried footsteps and the unmistakable sound of the proper key soon found it open.

Hyuuga Hiashi opened the door, a second Otonin dead at his feet. The medics behind him looked just a bit more uncomfortable.

"S-sir!"

TenTen nearly did a double-take. The tone in Neji's voice was completely different from the last time the three of them had been in the same room together. Instead, she bowed politely and shot Neji a hidden look. _Okay, what happened?_

His replied, _We'll talk about this later._

Fine.

"You are Neji's teammate," Hiashi said. "TenTen, correct?"

TenTen forced the bite out of her voice. "Hai, Hyuuga-sama."

She almost heard Neji sigh with relief.

What the Hell had happened?

"I'm moving you all to the bunkers. I'll ask you to help Neji."

"Of course, sir."

As she slung Neji's arm over her shoulder, she shot him a victorious but apologetic look. An odd combination, but what else could she do? He gave a long blink to acknowledge it, as big a bruise to his ego as this was, and they were off to the bunkers.

So she wasn't prepared for Hiashi to glance at the first Otonin's body—Jun, the bound shinobi had called him—and ask (demand) what had happened.

"That was mine," TenTen said quietly. "I engaged them in the hallway." She fought down a shudder, the first real signs that the action was sinking in—she'd been acting normal as a side-effect of shock, really—and did her best to meet the Hyuuga patriarch's gaze. It was strangely understanding.

And quickly refocused on the hall before them. The looks of the medics didn't, but TenTen flashed them a comforting smile before lowering her gaze so that she could use her ears.

It didn't stop Neji from giving her shoulder a squeeze. The smile she sent him was more reassurance than anything. They'd have to get used to this as shinobi, right? TenTen shrugged, and Neji sighed for all the tension it didn't relieve.

Close proximity with Neji was rare (albeit comforting, here), but this time it mainly served to confirm, that yes, something had changed about him. Apparently, it was something to do with his evil uncle. Who apparently was not evil (raspberry), given his ability to protect the group and Neji… not quite being Neji, especially his declaration during his fight with Naruto.

They must have had a talk after the match.

But Neji wasn't spotting the telltale signs of Juuken, so TenTen would have to wait for her teammate to give her answers.

And, hoo boy, talk about answers.

…

"WHADDIDYA JUST SAY?"

TenTen had daydreamed through the whole "The World Outside" album. Granted, memories were better than the present, but it still wasn't good form.

"I'm just saying that kids shouldn't have to fight," Rokuro was saying as nonthreateningly as he could. "Adults are—"

"Adults? Kids?" Revy scoffed. "It ain't age 'at matters. It's experience."

TenTen suddenly had that much more respect for the American. Besides, Rokuro was from civilian Japan and a good, law-abiding enough student for legitimate foreign exchange. Revy had clearly grown up fighting in the American slums Aubrey had assured her existed. The argument between the two was obvious.

"What about emotional maturity?" Rokuro defended.

"Some people grow up faster than others."

Everyone stopped and looked at the previously silent TenTen. She hadn't meant to speak aloud, but she continued anyway.

"I've met plenty of kids older than most adults. Find a better argument."

"Didn't you grow up in a war-torn nation?" Benny asked. "So you're kinda an exception to the rule."

"Actually, I grew up in Konoha's longest peacetime. I was a fully-fledged shinobi well before I saw real war." _Before I took my first life._

"Ain't shinobi a fancy word for 'ninja'?" Revy asked with an excited smile.

"… More or less. Why?"

"Can ya show me any _ninja techniques_?"

"Yes."

"Awesome! Like what?"

"Smokescreens, weapons, flash bangs…"

"Sweet! Show me!"

"I'm not allowed to."

"… Huh?"

"Any sign of 'aggression' on my part, and I'm dead meat."

That made sense to Revy, even without explanation of chakra or the seal. "Yeah, our gov's pretty damn useless. But is it true that'cha don't use guns?"

"We've never needed them."

"Which is why ya _lost_?"

Any semblances of liking Revy died on the spot. "We _lost_ because we had just fought off the third invasion in as many years, our military capital had already been flattened, and our forces were at an all-time low before the Americans even showed up. Without permission, mind you." All stuff TenTen had heard covered in the local news.

"They were just trying to help," Benny offered.

Revy burst out cackling.

Rokuro plugged his ears because he was sitting next to her.

TenTen waited for her to stop before beginning her rebuttal (a word learned from Malgen-san). "We had allies. And since it was our first time to have an alliance of all Great Five Shinobi Nations in our continent's history and we had defeated out greatest enemy _together_, nobody was going to throw away the peace by sucker-punching Konoha. We may have needed help, but we were already covered."

"Ya never know," Revy teased.

"Our country's hero won the final fight, and Suna's Kazekage is a personal friend." _Who sent in the Sunagakure back-ups who were killed alongside most of Konoha._

"Whose what?"

"Suna, our neighbor to the West and a long-time ally. And you don't know what a Kage is?"

"A shadow?" Rokuro offered.

TenTen forced herself to nod. "The leader of a ninja village, at least were the Big Five are concerned. The smaller nations don't have a Kage. Konoha's Kage is Kakashi-sama, the Sixth _Ho_kage or 'Fire Shadow.' Suna's Kage is Gaara the Fifth Kazekage, or 'Wind Shadow.'"

"So what's with the elements?" Dutch asked.

"The Five Nations are _named_ for the Elements. Konoha's nation, Hi no Kuni, translates as 'The Land of Fire.' Suna's is Kaze no Kuni, 'The Land of Wind.' They're forest and desert country, respectively."

"AARG," Revy groaned. "Geology, it burns!"

"You mean 'geography'?" Aubrey teased.

"Whatever, it's school," Revy grumbled. "Can we change the topic?"

"Sure," Malgen-san chirped. "Ooh, look, Black Angus Cattle."

"Aarg…"

TenTen decided to poke Revy for the 'which is why ya lost' comment. "Oh? Is that a specific breed?"

"Why, yes, it is."

"And how many cattle breeds does the US have?"

"Don'cha mean, 'do the US have'?" Revy snarked.

"Uh…"

"No, because the object of the verb 'does' is 'US,' which as a country is singular," Aubrey explained. "Thus, while the direct object and subject may well be inverted for the sake of an interrogative sentence," (Revy looked like it was torture), "the actual function of each remains the same and thus the case—"

"I GET IT!" Revy cried. "The Yankee's stupid, I get it."

Now TenTen was confused. "The what?"

"Someone from the Northeastern United States," Malgen-san explained. "Originally meaning 'from New England' or even 'from America' to nations like Britain, by the 1800's the South was—"

"I'm from New York City!" Revy cried again. "THAT'S IT! Ten, what's yer favorite weapon?"

A desperate and obvious ploy, but still. Weapon-speak.

Non-classified, anyway. "Projectiles."

"You throw 'em, or do ya use bows?"

"Either."

"… Huh."

TenTen was losing her audience.

"So do ya dress in all black and hide in the shadows?"

"Shadows, yes. …But why would we dress in solid black? That would just silhouette us."

Revy shrugged, and punched Rokuro.

"Ow! Why?" the boy yelped as he rubbed his arm.

"Why not?" Revy replied with the dullest of expressions.

"I have an idea," Aubrey called.

"It better not involve any grammar."

"It won't, unless word association counts."

"Huh?"

"One person says a word," Malgen-san explained, "and the next person says the next one that comes to mind."

"Huh?"

"Dutch," Aubrey smiled, "say a word?"

"Word," Dutch smirked.

"Teenagers," Malgen-san smiled.

"Rock," Aubrey said. "TenTen?"

Rock-Village of the Stones-Killer Bee- "Octopus."

Aubrey pointed to Revy.

"Tentacles."

Benny snorted, and Aubrey pointed to Rock.

"Sushi?"

Aubrey pointed to Benny.

"Wrap."

Aubrey pointed to Dutch.

"Innuendo."

Revy and Benny high-fived, and Rokuro went from clueless to confused to beet red. TenTen rolled her eyes. Malgen-san went.

"Cherry."

"Egad." (Aubrey)

"Yes."

"No." (Revy)

"Revy!" (grossed-out Rokuro)

"Hot." (Benny)

"Cold." (Dutch)

"Bad." (Malgen-san)

"Song." (Aubrey)

"Hourglass."

"Ticking." (Revy)

"Clock," Rokuro corrected.

"Innuendo," Benny explained.

"Mine," Dutch said.

"So?" asked Malgen-san.

"What." (Aubrey)

"How?"

"When?" (Revy)

"Why?" (Rokuro)

"Where?" (Benny)

"Journalism." (Dutch)

"Yellow." (Malgen-san)

"Muckraker." (Aubrey)

"Stable?"

"Horse." (Revy)

"Donkey?" (Rokuro)

"Bestiality."

"Reverse," Aubrey declared. "Rock?"

"Ano-Purity?"

"Lie," Revy smirked.

"America," TenTen offered.

"Peanut." (Aubrey?)

"Butter." (Malgen-san)

"Hallelujah." (Dutch)

"Menorah." (Benny)

"Mini?" (Rokuro was as clueless as TenTen)

"Muffin." (Revy)

"Cornbread." Yum.

"Butter." (Aubrey)

"My." (Malgen-san)

"Muffin." (Dutch)

"Icing." (Benny)

"Ice?" (Rokuro)

"Innuendo." (Revy, who made Rokuro blush. Again.)

"Pity."

"Penny." (Aubrey)

"Pepper." (Malgen-san)

"Popcorn." (Dutch)

"Pickle." (Benny)

"Pick?" (Rokuro)

"Pump." (Revy)

"Pumpkin."

"Mallet." (Aubrey)

"Yes." (Malgen-san)

And so went the game, with plenty of innuendo from the trio, much blushing from Rokuro, and non-sequiturs from Aubrey. Thus flat farmland passed with the morning sun and many terrified cars (read as Malgen-san passed them on the "shoulder.").

"Question."

"Yes?" Malgen-san asked, turning to face Revy.

"TURN AROUND!" Everyone not a Malgen cried.

"Alright," the supposedly grown woman innocently chirped. "Do you still have a question, Revy?"

"We gonna stop fer food, soon?"

"Nope."

"Maaan…"

"We're only an hour away," Aubrey supplied. "And besides…" She then began digging up front. "We _do_ have snacks."

"NOW ya tell me!"

There went three sticks of jerky.

TenTen eyed Revy's ragged backpack, now filled with wrappers. That one girl had brought that much food, eaten that much food, and was still hungry. Kinda like…

"What?"

Revy was staring at her. "Nothing."

"Got a problem with how much I eat?"

"No, I've met worse."

"Yeah? Who?"

"Guy named Lee. With all the energy he has, I'm amazed he didn't eat Konoha into famine."

"So he's yer boyfriend?"

…

Lee, her boyfriend.

Rock Lee, that Rock Lee, her boyfriend.

TenTen had no response for that.

So she made one up.

"Hmf-hmf-~!" TenTen fell back into her seat, clutching her sides in laughter at the sheer ludicrousness of-of- -HA-**HAAAAA~**!"

"… Huh?"

"That means 'no,' Revy," Benny explained.

"Oh well," Dutch sighed. "At least we learned how to make her laugh."

"Sorry," TenTen gasped. "Lee's like my little brother; him as my boyfriend is just so absurd that I just-I-hmph-HAHAHAHA! Okay, I'm done."

Revy belched her reply.

Aubrey belched back.

Malgen-san added hers.

Dutch declined.

Benny was weak.

Rokuro was too disgusted.

"**Wimp," **Revy belched. **"Ten-Ten?"**

Talk about degrading to Konoha. At the Malgen family table was one thing, but in front of these guys? She could see Neji glaring at the very thought.

She changed to the Leaves' Eyes CD _Elegy_.

"Man that's cold," Benny commented.

TenTen hit "play." A belching contest was just a little much. _Sure_ she'd entered for the sake of that one mission, but that was a one-time thing. Gai-sensei's enthusiasm had only been the _start_ of the issues.

…..

"**Hai!**" Gai-sensei "said." "The kidnapper is entering the local belching contest. To gain access, one of us will go undercover as a contestant."

"**Amazing!**"

"Of all the… you're _joking_, right?" TenTen pressed. No, they were serious. She and Neji sighed, fully expecting Lee to show off his "youthful belching ability."

"So who'll it be? **Lee!**"

Yep.

"**Yosh!** But… uhm…"

"HM?"

"… I really can't belch… **I AM SORRY GAI-SENSEI!**"

"**IT'S ALRIGHT, LEE!**"

Yeah, TenTen and Neji still hadn't gotten used to this…

"Our first C-Rank and it's _this_…" TenTen groaned. "How does he hope to make it worse?"

"I wish you hadn't said anything," Neji stated.

"Why?"

"Because if _Lee_ can't do it…"

TenTen's eyes widened. "Oh, no, he—"

"SO WHICH OF YOU TWO SHALL IT BE?"

"I refuse," Neji stated. TenTen flashed him a disbelieving look, and he silently dared her to argue.

"**TenTen!**"

"Eep!"

"Can you not belch? A young lady after all…"

"… cn…" No, no, don't say it!

"HM?"

Only for the mission… "I can… I just don't like to… it's not exactly…"

"YOSH! SHOW US YOUR YOUTHFUL BELCHING ABILITY!" Lee cried.

They poked and prodded until she finally conceded. _Don't think less of me, Neji…_ "Only for the mission." TenTen sucked air into her stomach, gulp after gulp, neck clenching, chin lifting… _Gai-sensei's way too close—_

_**BUUUUUUUUUUUUU~U~U~~UUUUUUUUURP!**_ Crash!

Flushing, TenTen looked at her teammates. Lee was staring with open awe, Neji looked incredulous, and both had mouths gaping wider than Gai-sensei's eyebrows stacked atop each other. And Gai-sensei… Gai-sensei had crashed through the wall in the force of it! He now popped up through the hole, eyes wide as his students'.

"Excuse me," TenTen said timidly. It was the first time they'd ever heard her sound like that, and easily snapped them out of the trance.

"TenTen," Neji said, although it sounded like a question.

"**THAT WAS AMAZING! YOU CAN DO THAT WHENEVER YOU WISH?**"

"Ye-yeah, but…"

"**SO YOUTHFUL, SO POWERFUL! AS EXPECTED FROM TENTEN!"**

"But it's not something to do in polite company…"

"**YOSH! TENTEN IS OUR SECRET WEAPON! YOU SHALL WIN TOMORROW!"**

"But I'm only doing it for the mission…"

Lee and Gai-sensei weren't listening. TenTen groaned, and turned to find that Neji had recovered himself almost perfectly. There was a funny look in his eyes, though, as if he was seeing her for the first time. _Oh, great, just what I need. My one sane teammate looking down on me._ "G-gomen…"

"Hn?"

"Well I'm gonna be a mockery of Shinobi _everywhere_ tomorrow."

"It's not like you do this on a regular basis."

"Well of course I wouldn't."

"And it _is_ for the mission, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's fine."

"Thanks."

"Hn."

Revy popped TenTen on the back of the head.

"Hn?"

"Wow," Revy drawled, "ya barely blinked. Anyway, Rest Stop. Out."

TenTen obliged, first tucking the player (paused on "Elegy") into the seat pocket. What greeted her was a scrubland-surrounded building and bench set.

"We're 45 minutes from Dallas," Aubrey explained, "but someone drank too much soda."

"Shaddup," Revy called, flipping her the bird before retreating into a rest room. TenTen took a breath of the still-cool breeze, but already the morning was warming.

"We're going to Six Flags first," Aubrey added. "Before the heat gets unbearable."

"What then?"

"The aquarium, a mall," Aubrey shrugged. "As long as you see a real American city."

Hence the real point of the excursion. TenTen didn't have time to form a response before the others began piling into the Malgen-mobile. That left her pondering in her seat and going back to "Elegy." A "true city" was that different from Shreveport, then, which was the 99th largest city in the nation. Dallas was the _4__th_ largest metropolitan area in America. Continuing to ponder, TenTen resolved to get some "summer reading" accomplished.

_Fast Food Nation_, eh?

…

TenTen closed her book—a whole 40 pages read while ignoring Revy—and glanced out the window to the latest American nonsense (oops, redundancy).

That being colorful, twisted train tracks several meters off the ground, behind a fence that simply screamed, "Keep out."

Did trains actually _run_ on those?

End of chapter.

_I had to up the rating solely because of Revy. Shocking, isn't it? Was the word association game amusing at all, or a waste of your lives? Do any of you even read _Black Lagoon_? Also, I named the story for the album, not just the song. Also a habit of mine, and maybe now some of the chapter titles make sense:_

_Chapter 1: "Without a Reason" by Lacuna Coil (my all-time favorite band)._

_Chapter 2: "Cut Throat" by Kittie._

_Chapter 3: "Wave of Anguish" by Lacuna Coil._

_Chapter 4: "Our Farewell" by Within Temptation. Particularly fitting._

_Chapter 5: "Immortality" by Celine Dion._

_Chapter 6: "Survive" by Lacuna Coil. Wait, did I use this band, already?_

_Chapter 7: "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses. 'Nuff said._

_Chapter 8: "By the Sword in My Hand" by Tyr. Also rather fitting, a cheerful Viking metal piece._

_Chapter 9: "Wake Me Up" by Eyes Set to Kill. Practically narrates the 2__nd__ half of the chapter._

_Chapter 10: "Land of Confusion" by Disturbed. Do I need to explain?_

_Chapter 11: "Hyperfast" by Lacuna Coil. Yes, I use their stuff a lot. Oh well, they rock._

_Chapter 12: "Highway to Hell" by ACDC. What better for a road trip?_

_Chapter 13: "Kids in America"_

_Chapter 14: "My Vietnam" by Pink. _

_Chew on those last two, since I tend to avoid previews. Also, REVIEW._


	13. Kids in America

_Yay, Six Flags. Which I do not own. Just like how I don't own _Naruto_, _Black Lagoon_, the Dallas Aquarium, the Grapevine Mall… I'm a college student; what do you expect? Oh, and:_

\Blah/=Author's note

_Blah_=Thought bubble.

[Blah]= Translation from Japanese into English, as I am not particularly fluent in anything other than Latin, English, and French.

Blah= Transmitted through speaker, phone, etc.

_I'll assume that you people are not morons and can figure out the rest. I will also have to ask you to suspend your disbelief with just about anything related to El Sombrero, but it was just too good to pass up on and it's been a few years since I was last at Six Flags (sigh)._

**Warning: Soapbox Sadie Moments will be featured in this and many chapters besides. Hooray for Author Agenda.**

...

Lines of people radiated from the gates, beyond which loomed a skyline of tracks and towers and a mountain. Sounds of gears and screams and speeding bodies filled the ever-warmer air, all beyond the sign for "Six Flags over Texas."

"Ain't in Kansas anymore, eh?" Revy chided. Rokuro didn't get it anymore than TenTen, but Malgen-san whispered something about "Movie Night." Aubrey replied with something about a "night of the living dead" (?) and "zombyland." What kind of land was Zomby? An American ally?

\Find me proof of ninja knowing of zombies, and I'll fix it. Until then, I'm a realist./

"Have fu~un," Malgen-san chimed from the Malgen-mobile. "Everyone has everything?"

Aubrey patted her hip pouch, the seniors and Rokuro wiggled their wallet chains, and TenTen just waved. With a final flourish Malgen-san glided away, expertly avoiding a baby stroller.

"Okay, we've got until 12:30," Aubrey announced. "To the line!"

And what a line it was.

"Where's she goin', exactly?" Revy asked.

"Work," Aubrey shrugged.

"Work?" Rokuro echoed.

"She's Caddo Parish's District Attorney," Aubrey explained.

Rokuro blinked. "But that's the highest legal figure Caddo has, right?"

"Yep."

Rokuro's head turned a 180, as if Annaliese Malgen hadn't long since left the parking lot. "That person is…"

"Working on an interstate case involving narcotic and exotics smuggling."

TenTen's fingers twitched into a fist; she prayed that Neji wouldn't have to hear about the birds taken from the wild, and…

"Exotics?" Rokuro asked naïvely.

"Oh, here we go." Revy looked up at the line, as if hoping it would all just vanish…

"Exotic animals," Aubrey said in a detached, deceptively calm tone. "Taken from their native lands for the pet trade, since most species can't be bred in captivity. They have to be brought over the border in secret, too, since most of them are endangered and banned for importation."

Rokuro nodded. "Between disease and conservation…"

"And just compassion."

"Huh?"

"Suitcasing," Aubrey chanted like a child with a dictionary. "The act of smuggling illegal animals by means of stuffing them into a suitcase, checking it so that security won't find the contents, and hoping that enough of the animals survive for a profit to be made. Used for most reptiles, as well as tropical birds who must first be wrapped up in newspaper."

Rokuro blinked. "What?"

TenTen growled.

"Pillbottling," Aubrey continued. "The act of stuffing a small tropical bird into a pill bottle, strapping these pill bottles to one's leg beneath long pants, and expecting to actually get through customs."

TenTen tried not to think about it.

"Quantity over quality: so long as enough of these animals live long enough to be sold in pet stores, it is fine if 50 to 90 percent of the catch dies in transit."

"And… that's where the birds in the pet store come from?"

Aubrey nodded. "And some of the snakes, and lizards, and frogs, turtles, monkeys and chimps… Of course, captive breeding is a horror all its own…"

"Okay, we get it," Revy called. "America hates animals, okay. Moving on…"

"We have about three hours before it's time to go," Benny pointed out. "We can't afford to waste time running all over the place."

Aubrey glanced at TenTen, a look in her eye that told the kunoichi exactly how Americans could remain ignorant. This group, however, looked sick of hearing about the truth.

The line was long, the day was heating up, and the employees had to switch out before Dutch could buy his ticket. Security was pathetic, not one of TenTen's knives was discovered, and Rokuro quickly managed to step in gum.

This was just to get in, by the way.

"So… What now?" Rokuro made the mistake of asking.

"The Texas Giant," Revy smirked as she licked her lips.

"Formerly the world's largest wooden roller coaster," Benny explained.

"Is that safe?" Rokuro demanded.

"Sure," Benny shrugged. "A place like this wouldn't have it, otherwise."

Apparently Americans were big on lawsuits.

"I recommend El Sombrero," Aubrey suggested. "A warm-up."

"No way," Revy argued. "The best way is ta go straight fer the biggest."

"You mean Gotham City?" Dutch smirked.

"Hell yeah!"

"Aren't those… huge?" Rokuro looked a fair bit nervous.

"Over there." Aubrey pointed to a light blue tower of track. "Mr. Freeze."

"… Ah." Rokuro now looked terrified.

"It looks about… 65 meters tall?" TenTen mused.

"Try 218 feet," Benny replied.

"Looks pretty small from here, eh?" Revy teased the markswoman.

"Actually," Aubrey corrected, "218 feet converts to 66 meters. She was off by about 3 feet."

"Gyee!" Revy gave TenTen a look of pure "Holy Crap!"

It was then that Aubrey's cell phone began singing about a lioness. "Hello. 'K." She then held up her phone for all to hear.

"Ride on the giant sombrero!"

...

It took three runs of the thing for them to finally reach the actual ride. In that time, TenTen had fully analyzed the contraption. The whole thing rotated on relatively unseen mechanisms that alternately pushed up one side and then the other, resulting in movements like a giant, freshly spun coin. All this a meter or two minimum off the ground.

"A sombrero is a type of hat," Aubrey had explained, "originally worn in America's southern neighbor of Mexico." TenTen would need to check the relations between this "Mexico" and America. An ally that not only held America's only southern land barrier, but was also involved in regular smuggling, could make a strong ally not from the Shinobi Continent…

"If this was a roller coaster," Revy snapped, "the line'd be moving like _that_!" 'That' being a roller coaster, of course.

When they did board, and Aubrey let TenTen be on the outside, the kunoichi was quick to notice the metal bar. Aubrey calmly clicked it into place, but it wasn't until the operator _locked_ it in that TenTen realized just how effective the restraint was. She couldn't wriggle out easily or slip free, nor had she seen how to unlock it. Her eyes were already searching the mechanism when Aubrey spoke up.

"It's like a heavy-duty seatbelt. Almost all of the rides here have them."

"Ya really don't have this stuff back home, huh?" Revy mused over TenTen's shoulder. Dutch just adjusted his glasses and said nothing.

"We've been a little busy," TenTen replied dryly.

The whole ride clicked, then rose several feet. It began to turn, slowly. Then faster, and faster as one side dipped up and its opposite sunk. TenTen was looking out at sky, then the people below ten seconds later as she plunged back toward the ground.

Well, maybe not _plunged_. It wasn't the speed that made her nervous—this was nothing compared to a mad dash for Sunagakure. No, what made TenTen nervous was quite simple:

A lack of control.

She didn't know the operator and didn't trust him. She didn't know the mechanics or the maintenance of the machine, even those that bound her to it. This thing was a shinobi's worst nightmare!

TenTen glanced back around, and met the eyes of a completely bored Revy.

"Dull, huh?" Revy asked in a completely bored voice.

TenTen shrugged before turning back around. On all sides of the thing kids were screaming or laughing or making sounds of wonder, their joyous voices carried on the wind.

Which admittedly _did_ feel good, especially with the otherwise stagnant air. The accompanying dip could be avoided, but that seemed to be Aubrey's favorite part.

"Think I can get a barf bomb on that kid?" Revy called, pointing toward a laughing little boy.

That was as disgusting as TenTen wanted to tell her.

Aubrey beat her to it. "And look weak on a ride this childish?"

"… Yer right, I'll save it for the Texas Giant."

It didn't stop her from 'hocking a loogie,' though.

And hitting the control box, thus short-circuiting the ride and getting their particular group stuck at the highest point.

"_Why~?_" Revy groaned.

["You don't get to ask that!"] Rokuro cried.

"SPEAK ENGLISH!" Revy demanded.

"S'il vous plait," Aubrey added. \French for "If you please./

"That ain't English," Revy protested.

"I think that's the point," Dutch drawled.

"Who asked you?"

["I want to go home,"] TenTen sighed.

["Okay,"] Aubrey beamed outside of Rokuro's hearing range. ["It'll be hard to save the others from back in Konoha, though."]

"… Urusai." \Shut up./

"Stop with the Japanese," Revy groaned.

"Hvorfor?" Aubrey asked with who knew what innocent accent.

"… What?" Revy asked nervously.

"Danish for 'why,'" Aubrey replied.

While it wouldn't stop her from completing this mission…

TenTen _really_ wanted to go home.

Home, with Neji and Lee and Gai-sensei, and the sort of nonsense between them that she was used to. Ever since they'd become Team Gai and their own special brand of nonsense had been firmly cemented on that fateful day…

That day when TenTen had arrived for training to find not one, but two bowl-cuts on the ground before her, doing push-ups in identical green suits. The smaller one lacked Gai-sensei's vest, but there was no way that the appearances were coincidence. No way, and it was the last thing she needed.

Gai-sensei had brought his son to practice.

Today was going to be Hell.

TenTen sighed, and spotted Neji not even _trying_ to meditate beneath his tree. The closer she got to him, the more she felt the killing intent. Was that directed at her, or… no, definitely at the two in green. Did Neji know something that TenTen didn't? She hadn't even known that Gai-sensei even _had _a son—or Amaterasu-sama, a wife—but Neji must have known something about the visitor…

"Okay!" Gai-sensei announced, jumping up with no real warning. "Now that TenTen has arrived, we shall begin!"

Huh? But what about… TenTen looked at the newbie, and her brain short-circuited for a few seconds. Then, the anger bubbled up.

"_**LEE?"**_

"Ō-hayō, TenTen," Lee beamed.

As if he didn't have Gai's bowlcut.

Or skintight green _thing_.

And… and…

"WHAT THE HELL?" Revy cried.

TenTen blinked, and noted that the two seats before her were now empty. Beyond them was a civilian ladder crew helping down two children.

"We're gonna be _last_," Revy protested.

"_Deal _with it," Dutch told her.

Sure enough, the ladder crew moved on to the row before the last, and so on.

"I'll deal with it when I'm not dyin' 'a heatstroke," Revy grumbled. "How's 'at?"

Dutch shrugged. "Sure, if you want. Just try not to stink."

"Some _friend_ you are."

"_Remind me_," Dutch drawled, "whose fault it is we're stuck up here."

"Miz-M's," Revy stated. "For making us go on this kiddie ride."

"_The lioness… is hunting us… So beautiful, and danger—"_

"Hello, Mother," Aubrey smiled into her cellphone.

Behind Revy and Dutch, Benny and Rokuro kept silent, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible.

...

Thirty grueling minutes later, TenTen and Aubrey were finally coming down the ladder.

"Can we do something _fun_, now?" Revy groaned.

"Sure," Aubrey beamed. "Let's make Rock scream."

"Hell yeah!"

"NANI?"

Aubrey then pointed, not to a mountain of tracks, but to a ship.

A long, open ship.

On a pendulum.

With the ends swinging two to three times higher than the sombrero.

Rokuro did _not_ look happy.

"WA-HOOOOO~!"

"WOOT!"

"YEEEE-HAAAAAAW~!"

"AAAA~H!"

The plunge rose back into a frozen second of suspension—a crystal clear moment with the ground infinitely below and the park laid out before her. Then TenTen's stomach dropped with the ship, a rush of air among the strongest she had ever felt. Then it slowed to a halt, momentarily defying gravity yet again before the cycle continued to the symphony of Rokuro's screams.

...

"Behold, The Texas Giant," Revy declared melodramatically. "The world's biggest wooden roller coaster!"

"Used to be," Benny shrugged.

"I'm not sure about this…" Rokuro said quietly, gazing up at the wooden scaffold.

"Yeah, well, _I _am," Revy smirked. "Let's go!"

The line cost TenTen about ten minutes of her life. According to Aubrey, it would have been an hour if today wasn't Thursday. Ten minutes, really, had been plenty of time for TenTen to analyze the roller coaster's path, from the initial and painstaking climb up the first hill and the sudden acceleration designed to instill fear and adrenaline in its riders. Not that TenTen would feel either, given how easy it had been to analyze the locking mechanism of the ship ride. If anything, her inner Shinobi was grumbling that the ride seemed too short to waste so much time waiting for.

Nonetheless, she soon found herself in a car beside Dutch, because Revy and Aubrey both wanted to sit up front. She watched the attendant secure the locks, and was still confident that she could bolt in an emergency. Whether she could take anyone with her was a whole other story, and one that she didn't want to have to go through.

The thing moved painfully slowly, climbing cautiously up the slope with all intent of building up the suspense. She heard someone behind her murmuring,

["Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea…"] Rokuro chanted it like a mantra, an affirmation of his building terror. They peaked, gazing over treetops and streets…

And plunged.

The rush hit TenTen like a welcome wave, a wild speed achieved only by Lee and Gai-sensei that blew back her bangs. The screams faded, along with the pressure of the restraints. It was just her, the rush, the speed, the wind, and so many runs through Konoha's forests…

And then they slowed down and returned to the platform, and TenTen remembered that she was still a captive.

Rokuro was gasping for air, terrified, and Revy had a manic smile of pure glee plastered across her face. Benny looked exhilarated, Aubrey held a knowing smile, and Dutch was just… Dutch. They were an odd little group, not at all like her friends and teammates.

And it was probably just the familiar rush that made TenTen smile at them as she did.

It would have to be.

"_So~~~oooo?_" Revy asked. "How was it?"

"I refuse to go on another," Rokuro stated.

"Fun," TenTen shrugged.

"How fun?"

"Pretty fun."

"Majority wins, then," Revy declared. "More coasters!"

Thus there were more roller coasters; more lines, some longer than others; and that fleeting peace. Spinning upside down, performing "loop-de-loops," hanging ten stories in the air; it didn't matter, so long as she could feel that wind on her face and the joy in that speed.

And understood how to detach herself.

It was after "Mr. Freeze" that Revy declared, "I'm hungry."

"I could go for some grub," Dutch affirmed.

"Me, too," Benny nodded.

"HOW CAN YOU BE HUNGRY?" Rokuro demanded. "We just plummeted who knows how far and spun and-and-" His words quickly dissolved into almost incoherent Japanese.

"What's he sayin'?" Revy drawled.

TenTen shrugged.

"Don'cha speak Japanese?"

"Hai."

"So what's he sayin'?"

"Gibberish," Aubrey explained.

"Oh. Let's go find some turkey legs."

"I'll settle for ice cream."

"Damn vegetarian."

...

Whatever bird a 'turkey' was, TenTen didn't want to meet it. The femur and attached meat was longer and wider than her forearm, which was just scary. The meat was also being smoked, to the point that she wasn't sure if she could stand it.

Beside her, Aubrey was enjoying little beads of something called "Dippin' Dots." Revy, Benny, and Dutch were getting the giant legs, and Rokuro looked scared of them.

"You may prefer the sausage," Aubrey offered.

The giant meat thing on a stick.

"I'm not hungry," Rokuro sighed, "and I have no idea how you are."

As the two discussed strong stomachs, TenTen looked again at the cooking meat. Given what Aubrey had told her of this country's meat production, eating the fair food equivalent would probably get her sick. But what, then, would that leave her with?

"Pretzels, corndogs, burgers, chicken…" Aubrey continued to rattle off random words that TenTen soon realized were the names of foods by the time she concluded with, "and then some, all available on grounds for consumption."

"You really are a regular…" Revy mused.

"TenTen and I used season passes," Aubrey reminded her.

"That just means yer loaded."

Aubrey shrugged and glanced back at TenTen.

Her stomach was rumbling, and she didn't know if she could trust any of the food here. And even if she could…

She wanted to go home.

End of chapter.

_Culture note 1: Amaterasu is a very powerful sun deity in traditional Japanese mythology, and TenTen was referring to her in the flashback. NOT the Sharingan technique almost certainly named for her._

_Culture note 2: The Malgens are a Danish family and clearly have a long and continued history as such. Therefore, it is perfectly natural for them—especially Aubrey—to speak Danish. The French is because I live in Louisiana and speak French, which was mandatory at my kindergarten onwards and guess what! This story is in Louisiana! Wow. Plus, it's Aubrey._

_By the by, did anyone notice more of TenTen's Shinobi sense surfacing? It appears that she's adapting to life in America… or whatever I have planned for this thing. Chapter 14 shouldn't be too far away. Oh, and…_

_**Retcon Alert: **__I believe that in an earlier chapter, I called Annaliese Malgen "Christiana." I changed that, because for some odd reason I decided that the Malgen Clan women would all be given "A" names. Thank you and have a nice day._


	14. My Vietnam

_And here's this, for those still following me and those just tuning in. If you're new, please remember to review with several sentences. Or, Hell, even one will be enough to let me know I still have readers. Thanks! _

Revy was a surprisingly good shot. TenTen munched on the remains of her "giant pretzel," wondering if it was possible to get sodium poisoning from one "meal" as Revy won yet another round at a stall. Apparently, even civilian kids were taught about shooting at a pretty early age if these "water guns" were to be taken seriously.

"Hey, Ten," Revy called, "get over here! Yer a projectile expert, right?"

TenTen eyed Revy, Aubrey, and Dutch at their stations, the perfect scores between all three of them, and the prizes hanging from the walls of the stand. "I dunno…" Holding any gun felt like a betrayal of Konoha. She wadded up the napkin her pretzel had come in and lazily noted the light weight before tossing it into a trash can some five meters off, about to say no.

"Okay, that's it!" Revy exclaimed. "Sit down right now, ninja!"

"Fine," TenTen sighed. May as well see how one of these things worked…

The basic point was to hit the target so that water would rise in the above column, for all the sense that made. It didn't take her too long to hit it and hold it steady, although the learning process had given the other three the lead.

Aubrey won. Revy looked ticked, but resigned. Dutch shrugged it off as Benny joined in for another round.

TenTen tied with Aubrey. Three times in a row. Revy growled and dragged TenTen off to another stall as Aubrey consulted a random child about what prize to get. She didn't get to see the final decision, since Revy spun her around to see…

A darts booth. With balloons stuck to a wall, with enough nostalgia to almost slip TenTen into another flashback, but she staved it off by looking at the darts. Most of which were flawed.

"You and me," Revy announced. "Best two out of three."

TenTen shrugged, knowing that this was a foregone conclusion. "Sure."

They paid up and got five darts each. TenTen noted the bend in the first, quickly deciding the angle of trajectory.

"Never seen a dart before?" Revy teased as she popped her first balloon.

"No, we have this game back home," TenTen shrugged in the second she analyzed the targets. They were bobbing too much to be filled with anything than atmospheric gas, just slack enough that anything but a perfect shot would probably glance off. Revy's second throw confirmed this. The resulting curses prompted TenTen to pop her first balloon.

She was holding her next dart by the time the bang reached her ears, and a quick study told her at what angle she would next need to flick her wrist. She and Revy simultaneously popped a balloon. TenTen was tempted to double-throw, but the fletchings had always made it difficult to throw properly. So she threw her third as Revy made another hit, making the score 3-3. Revy threw her last one, making it 3-4.

TenTen wanted to up the ante. It was two out of three, after all. So she took one dart in each hand, took note of her targets' movements, watched Revy for any sign of interference, and let both fly.

Naturally, both hit.

"Round two," Revy declared, setting another five on the table. TenTen smirked and laid out her own, noting the stall-keeper's assessing eyes. Revy took her darts and let them out in almost rapid-fire, raising TenTen's eyebrows at the five pops.

"Nice," Benny noted. "So Ten, gonna go for five again?"

TenTen frowned slightly, fighting down the response of, "No, I'll go for ten." This was a game, after all. No need to show off anything close to her real skills and let them think of her as anything other than… Some child of war who talks and doesn't back it up. That old, Team-Gai-ingrained need to show the skill of Konoha shinbobi flickered into her thoughts… And really, she'd rather not leave anyone with doubts about Konoha's military.

"I guess," TenTen mused as she picked up two darts, "I'll start with four and work my way up." She blocked out the questions as she picked out her row, analyzed their movements, and double-checked her darts. Her right hand flicked the dart to the far right of the board, and her left flicked out a pursuit. The darts clashed centimeters from the board, the first changed course…

Po-po-pop! Pop!

"Holy cheese!"

"Sugoi!"

The first dart's new course had swept through three balloon's, the second only one. TenTen fought down a smirk as she selected two more darts. People stopped to notice.

"How'd you do that?" Revy demanded.

"I'm a ninja," TenTen replied as she repeated the trick.

Po-po-po-pop! Pop!

["Amazing,"] Rokuro repeated. The growing crowd agreed in English.

Four darts down and nine shots made.

"I think she wins," Dutch noted, apparently amused by the stunned face Revy couldn't change. Just for the fun of it, TenTen threw one more dart.

Which, of course, hit perfectly.

For Revy, it looked like an insult to injury.

"Where're you from?" the stall-keeper, a twenty-something year old man, smiled in slight shock. He'd already seemed friendly, though.

"Konoha," TenTen smiled back with pure national pride.

It took a second for the name to register.

When it did, TenTen really wished that she could've settled for tying with Revy.

"Konoha?" the stall-keeper blinked. "As in Hinokuni's Konoha?"

Murmurs went up, and TenTen pointedly acknowledged them before replying, "Yes, I am a citizen of Konoha and Hi no Kuni." After an oppressive pause, she added, "Is there a problem?"

"No-no…" the man stammered. "I'm sorry… You must be happy to have moved here."

"No, I want to go home," TenTen replied, trying to keep the bite out of her voice and blatantly ignoring the suspicion in his eyes. "No offense meant, of course."

"Offense taken," someone shouted. TenTen turned toward the speaker, who wasn't at all surprised that she could. Male, about the same age as the stall-keeper. Bigger frame, though, and a completely different air. He apparently thought that he was smart.

"How so?" TenTen asked, biting back a more acidic tone.

"We saved your asses!"

"You _invaded_ our country," TenTen clarified.

"We were helping!"

"We had help."

"Not enough!"

"Ah, yes," TenTen mused with an overdose of sarcasm. "The aid of fifteen-odd nations that we know and trust is _nowhere_ near enough. Extra stuff from some random nation that we have absolutely no history with is absolutely what we need."

"We're _America_," the man's buddy drawled. "What more trust did you need?"

"Plenty," TenTen drawled. She heard Revy sniggering. "After all, your media's just about useless. I haven't been here 48 hours and I can already tell that much-"

"What do you know?" the first man sneered.

"More than you," Aubrey cut in wearily. "Can we please not cause an international incident at Six Flags?"

The second man was about to snap, but suddenly a shrill female voice shouted, "Look what I won!"

The men turned to see a woman hidden behind one of the gigantadon teddy bears TenTen had noticed, and graciously used it as an excuse to end the confrontation. With a melodramatic "I'm Watching You" gesture thrown in for good measure, of course.

Aubrey tossed TenTen a discreet look of apology, and TenTen shrugged it off with her annoyance at the Americans. She knew that they were probably being watched, and that Aubrey had to keep up the appearances of a jailor. That included not letting any truth about the war escape to the general public, at least not that obviously. It was an unfortunate annoyance, but they'd live.

"The Hell 'as that?" Revy demanded. "That was gettin' good!"

"We have forty-five minutes," Aubrey shrugged. "And if it didn't end soon, we'd be spending the rest of our time in a security booth. Probably more than that, given TenTen's nationality."

"_Fine_," Revy snorted. "Be a pansy on us and we'll go ride Runaway Mountain."

"Uh, do you want a prize?"

TenTen noted his stock—most of it bulky, obnoxious, poorly made, or a combination of the above—and then the section he was motioning. There was a necklace bulky enough to carve a summoning seal onto the back of, but it was way too gaudy. "You guys want anything?"

Everyone either didn't feel like lugging something around, either, or had too much pride to ask—Aubrey conspicuously had no prize—and she almost missed a child's failed attempt to speak.

"Hm?" she smiled down at the little boy.

"You should go with Taz," the boy said.

"Taz?" TenTen followed several gazes to a brown… thing. With an impossibly wide mouth. "You like Taz?"

"Yeah, he's funny!"

"I guess I'll take Taz, then…" She watched the man pull down the smallest one—she'd only won two rounds, after all—and thanked him when he handed her the plushie. "Here you go," TenTen smiled to the boy.

"Re-really?"

"I don't really feel like carrying it around," TenTen smiled. "You said you like him, right?"

"Thanks!" the boy took it and hugged it, still young enough not to be embarrassed about it, and the mother smiled… with a shadow in her eyes. TenTen beamed as if she hadn't seen it, and waved good-bye as her group headed back to the rides. So this was how people felt about her country…

"Jeez, you two are alike," Benny was sighing.

"Hm?"

"You and Aubrey, handing off the prize to random kids."

"Huh." That explained Aubrey's lack of an obscenely colored plushie.

"A little girl wanted a hat." Aubrey pointed at a hot pink, leopard-printed… hat… not unlike a sombrero. The top had caved in, though.

"That's… some hat."

...

"Shotgun!" Aubrey declared.

"Dammit!" Revy cursed as TenTen took her previous seat.

"Did you have fun?" Malgen-san beamed as they piled in.

"Yep," Aubrey beamed back from behind a cloud of cotton candy.

TenTen ignored just how childlike that made Aubrey look, instead thinking about what she had learned about America's technology, customs, and… mindset regarding Konoha. It wasn't very comforting.

"You got lunch?" Malgen-san inquired.

"Yep, Revy smirked visibly.

Rokuro gave a snort, indicating what he had thought of their "lunch." TenTen was somewhat inclined to agree, and then noticed Malgen-san slurping something out of a paper cup.

"Chocolate malt," Malgen-san explained. "I felt like adding a layer of cholesterol to my arteries." As if to prove a point, she plucked a long, golden yellow something from a paper bag with her free hand.

Which left no hands on the wheel!

"No knee driving!" Revy shouted.

"Too late," Malgen-san called as she switched lanes.

"God dammiiiiiiiit!"

TenTen was inclined to agree. Twenty minutes of Hell later, Malgen-san was pulling up to a building amidst ridiculously tall buildings as a song called "Ragnarok" poured from the speakers.

"_God's awaiting the end of the world~" _The vocalist cheerfully declared with the melody, _"The end of all…"_

TenTen recognized her from Leaves' Eyes. Maybe.

"I'll be back in two hours," Malgen-san called calmly. "It'll be thirty minutes before rush hour, so we'll want to move. "'K?"

"'K," the teens replied, most of them near-desperate to get out of the car.

"Have fun, then," Malgen-san beamed as she unlocked the doors.

TenTen quickly evacuated, lest she be run over by Revy. The others spilled out behind her, Aubrey climbing over the seats to do so. Considering the speed of the cars on the road, not opening the passenger-side doors was probably quite wise.

A quick wave from Malgen-san soon found the teens meandering into the building, which smelled faintly of damp and stone. Tickets were quickly obtained (unlike at Six Flags), and they soon walked into…

A jungle.

TenTen contemplated Neji's reaction to the gorgeous tropical birds perched in trees beyond the netting… before wondering how many of these birds were imports. Same for the fluffy little monkeys that she could see, and then she remembered Aubrey's reason for coming here: all of their animals were captive bred.1*

"This is an aquarium?" Revy asked. "Where's the fish?"

"The lower levels," Aubrey explained. "The Dallas Aquarium is built more like a rain forest than a reef."

"Clearly," Benny noted. Rokuro began looking at signs, Revy watched two tamarins squabble, Dutch and Benny placed mock-bets, and Aubrey watched some type of parrot flap overhead. TenTen looked at the artificial waterfall and surprising aesthetics. It wasn't what she had been expecting.

The lower levels had revealed fish, a large snake called an anaconda, river otters, large spiders, bats, caimans, turtles… And something that faintly resembled a cross between a dolphin, a seal, and a cat.

"It's a manatee," Aubrey explained, watching the gray thing float in the tank. It watched them curiously, whiskered face brushing the glass.

It was far more peaceful than the outdoor penguin exhibit. The raucous, splashing birds were everywhere beyond the netting, audible over even the children yelling something about skipping. Or a skipper, or something. TenTen dodged excrement from the sea birds above the netting, blinked her eyes as they adjusted from pleasantly low light to stark brightness, and quickly decided to go back and see the manatee.

"Rico!" a little girl shouted.

Revy wanted to go see something called a jaguar.

Back up to the top floor they went, to find a large, powerful-looking cat staring at them from behind glass. Not nearly as big as the tigers from the Forest of Death, and not particularly concerned with random humans, but still impressive-looking. Muscles were heavy beneath the dark coat, spots breaking up his shape—or at least trying to in the stark white room, and powerful jaws were the second most prominent feature in the cat's face.

First place went to the cat's nearly luminous gold-green eyes, which regarded her with a moment of interest before drifting near-closed, again.

Revy lost interest, quickly, and mumbled something about "the yogi panther" being more interesting. Aubrey had chuckled knowingly, and Rokuro had watched it with polite interest. Benny made some joke to Dutch that TenTen didn't get, and TenTen herself wondered what the point was in showing her so much South American wildlife. Getting her downtown in a major city, she supposed.

And doing it with a patch of green for refuge. The roar of near-endless cars, the stink of the roads and exhaust, and the sheer level of mankind's intrusion on the environment were leaving TenTen all but ragged; even downtown Konoha at its height had fresh air. Without the pleasant green of the aquarium's canopy level, she didn't know what she'd do about all of this.

_Grit and bear it,_ her Shinobi instincts replied.

Yeah, pretty much.

...

This was a pretty good blade. Not nearly the level of her uncle's work, of course, but still better than she had hoped. When she began inspecting it, the saleswoman had been able to recognize an expert eye. They were halfway through the alloy when Revy had declared TenTen to be a "nerd."

"A what?"

"A nerd, ninja girl."

"Forgive me for being from Konoha."

The salesgirl paled. If TenTen hadn't been in the middle of checking the line, she would have face-palmed. Instead, she pretended not to notice.

"The blade's a little heavy, though… And there's a slight waver in the line."

"You… really do know your swords," the salesgirl said cautiously.

"My uncle owned a weapons store," TenTen smiled. "Best knives in Konoha."

The girl flinched on "Konoha," again. TenTen sighed and sheathed the sword, which seemed to calm her a bit.

"It's still a fairly good sword. Of course if I buy it, security'll probably jump me."

It was supposed to be a joke.

Aubrey called her over to the clothing section, which to TenTen's delight was packed with Chinese-styled silk tops.

She took one look at the fabric quality, though, and the delight quickly faded. Aubrey was able to find a well-made halter, though, and had proven herself to look quite stunning in moon blue silk.

It made it a little awkward when TenTen wanted a similar style in red. So she tried on a sleeveless red dress different enough from Sakura's old style, and was surprised when Rokuro tripped over his own feet while staring.

They wound up adding three more items to TenTen's still-small wardrobe—the dress, the halter, and a white short sleeve top—all on Malgen-san's insistence. She'd have preferred knives, but she and Aubrey both knew better. Especially with some of the glances she felt from the clerks and fellow shoppers. She hadn't dared to touch any of the katana, again.

It thus irked her that Revy bought a pocket knife.

She didn't know what to think when Benny bought something called a "key blade." It looked too impractical to live.

TenTen managed to ignore the looks all the way out the store, halfway out of a desire not to provoke the fight and halfway to avoid making Aubrey break anything up or avoid blowing their cover. Her guide didn't seem too happy about "selling TenTen out" along with her own beliefs.

They then crossed to a particularly "mainstream" store, and it became quite evident that they were going to mock it. Revy pulled frilly blouses over Rokuro's head, pointed him in the direction of the frilly panties, and mused which frilly dress he'd look best in.

"What about you?" Rokuro shrieked.

"Me? Well, _I'd_ never wear any of this…" Revy smirked "innocently."

Rokuro's eye twitched.

"Okay, stop annoying the poor, defenseless foreign exchange student," Aubrey sighed before dragging Revy off behind several large racks. Rokuro used it as a chance to ditch Revy's fashion pointers.

"What about you, Ten?" Benny asked a bit more innocently. "See anything?"

TenTen barely spared the wall of fabric a glance. "I prefer something a bit more… practical." Hell, even for formal stuff she'd wear dress pants if she could get away with it.

"**A-a!"**

TenTen froze, and instantly pinpointed the sound of Revy's hushed cry. She instantly moved behind the rack, and barely caught Aubrey's "it's fine" gesture in time to stop the guys from seeing.

"You don't want to know," TenTen said simply, and refused to give the guys a chance to decide for themselves. Rokuro returned just in time to be oblivious, and the talk had shifted to something called "Halo Reach." TenTen just nodded and shrugged whenever appropriate.

At least, until Rokuro's jaw hit the floor.

TenTen turned, and blinked at the sight of Revy in a dress.

Somehow simultaneously frilly and form-fitting, with a generous level of cleavage just above skank level and an equally ranked skirt height… And surprisingly good-looking on Revy.

"Well we managed to make Rokuro look even stupider than usual," Revy shrugged, breaking the spell. "I'm gonna go get this thing off."

Rokuro stared, incredulous, as Revy scooted back to what must have been the changing rooms.

"That was random," Benny noted. Dutch snorted.

"I'm surprised she could pull it off," TenTen acknowledged.

["Bitch…"] Rokuro murmured.

...

They were just leaving a media store (why, exactly, was TenTen expected to know what "pocky" was?), when the product of namedropping finally caught them. Said product took the form of two uniformed men and three teenagers (two guys, one girl), and none of them looked happy. Actually, the teens looked downright scared.

"Excuse me," the bigger man said, standing right in front of TenTen. "Are you from Konoha?"

"Yes, sir," TenTen nodded, not giving the snitches the pleasure of seeing her squirm. "Can I help you?"

"We need you to come with us."

"Are any of you others from Hinokuni?" the thinner man asked in a gruff mixture of seriousness and "this was supposed to be my lunch break."

"No," Malgen-san automatically replied, "but she is staying with me and my daughter. She's a foreign exchange student."

Two of the teens had the decency to look embarrassed.

"She's a terrorist," the third stated. "She knows how to handle weapons."

"My uncle owned a weapons shop," TenTen countered. "And before you say anything, my father sold fireworks."

The would-be Defender of America shut his mouth, but still glared at her. "We just defeated you guys. There's no way in Hell you're just here to—"

"Learn about your country so maybe you'll get out of mine?" TenTen suggested brightly.

"I'll need you to come into the office," the bigger man sighed.

Revy promptly groaned. Loudly. "Look, she ain't doin' nothin', we're just havin' one last hurrah before school. Wha's the problem?"

"The _problem_ is," the annoying teen growled, "you can't trust these guys; they—"

"Quick question," TenTen cut in. The teen glared at her, in an accusing manner she knew now that she recognized. "Who died?" she asked with complete seriousness.

The boy's eyes widened, the anger he'd been trying to hide finally becoming quite evident.

"Leon's dad was a soldier over there," the girl explained quietly, realization dawning.

_Then there's a chance that I killed him,_ TenTen refused to say aloud. She looked over his features again, but nothing there reminded her of her enemies. Well, besides the look in his eyes, but the soldiers hadn't liked her, either. "My condolences. I know what it feels like."

A faint light of empathy dawned in Leon's eyes, struggling against the boy's suspicions. TenTen hated to think about how well-founded they were.

"Back in Konoha—"

"_Konoha_?" a passerby gaped.

"Yes, Konoha. Back home…"

"You're from Hinokuni?"

"No way!"

"Go home!"

"Are you a child soldier?"

"Did you kill our soldiers?"

"Get out of here!"

"We're taking her into the office," the bigger officer declared, annoyance obvious. "As you were, please."

TenTen felt glares on her back all the way to the Security Office.

"This is so stupid," Revy grumbled at Leon. "What the hell, hero?"

"Sor-ry," Leon grumbled back. "How'd you feel if you suddenly ran into someone from an until recently enemy country?"

"Half a year ago, ya didn't know they _existed_," Revy growled. "Oh, and just for the record, I just met her this morning. I was stuck with her in a car for three hours, and all she did was read."

Leon was looking more guilty by the second, which was just fine with TenTen. It did make her wonder what Magnet would be like, though. Since there was a military base in town, there was a good chance that she'd run into more kids like Leon.

Then again, America had a lot of bases.

The office was lit by florescent lights and floored in linoleum. There was a waiting area with a few chairs, and a few doors leading off here and there.

"Hey, chief," the smaller officer radioed in. "We've got the terrorist."

His sarcasm was not unlike the ANBU.

"Yeah?" a man's voice radioed back. "Send her on back."

"She has a few friends," the officer replied before Aubrey had a chance to. "Including the American family she's living with."

"No, just her."

Aubrey and Malgen-san frowned, always expecting to be watched.

"Sure you want to go in alone?" Aubrey asked as TenTen stood.

"I'll be fine," TenTen shrugged tersely. The Malgens relented, and the bigger officer led her down a short hall. The door they stopped at had a sign reading "Hughes" taped to the side.

The man waiting for her had kind eyes behind his glasses, but there was an edge to them; they weren't unlike those of Sandaime Hokage.

TenTen felt a twinge at that, but really the resemblance died there. This man was young, perhaps 30, with short black hair and sharp golden eyes. There was also something faintly Shikamaru-ish about him, which put her still more on edge. He also had the look of a soldier.

"Hey," the man smiled as he stood from his desk. She shook the proffered hand. "I'm Officer Hughes, charged with protecting this high-security mall from terrorists. You're not a terrorist, are you?"

TenTen's shoulders hitched with a suppressed laugh as she took the offered seat. "Try 'foreign exchange student.'"

Hughes-san nodded and snorted. "Your English is pretty good."

"Thanks. I've been described as a die-hard researcher." Still not lying.

"You must be a pretty good student to come over here."

"I try."

"So do Konoha's schools include weaponry in the curriculum, or is that a hobby?"

"I spent a lot of time in my uncle's weapons shop," TenTen explained, since the Academy curriculum did include weaponry.

"So I'll take the weapons school joke as a no."

TenTen gave him a look meant to say, "Duh, you must be joking." Unfortunately, his eyes read it as, "No would be a lie."

So he asked her point-blank, "Are you a child soldier?"

"No," TenTen growled. Her Shinobi pride would _never _take that insult.

"Your eyes tell me something different."

TenTen looked at those eyes and knew that she was seeing a fellow soldier. There was no point in lying, unless she wanted to make him any more suspicious. "I take the term 'child soldier' as an insult. I am a ranked member of Konoha's military, thank you very much."

"So why're you here?"

"Foreign exchange student."

"I meant at the Grapevine Mall."

TenTen blinked. "Learning American customs from the kids I'll be going to school with. You people are seriously confusing."

Hughes-san snorted. "So says a high school-age soldier. What's your rank?"

"Chunin."

"That's mid-rank, right?"

TenTen nodded, surprised that he knew that much.

"I've been following the media."

"I was actually there."

"For the war?"

"And the aftermath. Your media is pathetic. No offense, of course."

"None taken. I was a soldier myself back in the day," Hughes-san smiled with an edge. "Gulf War, '91."

TenTen frowned, before remembering that she was still learning about America's _17_90, never mind the past two decades. "Sorry, I'm still learning your history… Where was that one?"

"Middle East."

"Ah." _The latest American can of worms._

"Not nearly as bad as Vietnam, but no war's exactly pretty." Hughes-san paused, debating whether or not to ask something. There was also a hint at the surprise at having this conversation with a teenage girl, but at least he wasn't like Lee's guide… "What was it like?"

_What really happened,_ TenTen read. "Horrible. The first war Konoha ever lost, and it was to a nation we'd never met."

"I thought Konoha was the name of your hometown?"

The nations should have been common knowledge, or at least already that of America's top. "Konoha is the military capital of Hi no Kuni and does answer to the Daimyo, but it has a lot more autonomy than most cities. All the hidden villages are like that."

"And you're a dictatorship?"

TenTen thought back to American terms for government, the first thing she had set out to learn after seeing the newscast. "No way, absolutely not." How best to explain this..? "Konoha's a military state, run by the Hokage and village elders, and the elders select the next Hokage."

"So the people have no say in it?"

"The Jonin have to approve, and they live like civilians… except for the job, of course. The candidates tend to come from their ranks, anyway, and these guys are the best of the best, time-tested and there solely by their own ability." See Neji for details, Lee perhaps even more so. It was a lot of information, but it was better than letting the lies circulate. TenTen would probably wind up giving this speech several times over, after all.

Hughes-san frowned slightly, trying to fit this together with what he "knew." "And Tsunade was your last Hokage?"

"Succeeded by Hatake Kakashi." If he said one thing about the media lies…

"And what were they like?"

TenTen blinked, impressed despite herself. "Lady Tsunade was both a doctor and a warrior, unparalleled in the first and highly respected in the latter. She saved more lives than she took and always put the lives of her people first. In all honesty, she's always been my idol."

"And she was the granddaughter of a previous Hokage?"

"The First Hokage, Senjuu Hashirama. She got the nickname 'Princess Tsunade,' but she was always her own person. She had a temper, but was pretty level-headed when it counted." That wasn't anything along the lines of secure intelligence, as far as she knew.

"So the news was completely wrong?"

"Yeah. I'm actually surprised that you knew that much, given how they failed on our military rankings."

Hughes-san snorted. "That was too obvious. Like a war-torn nation denying aid."

"From someone we didn't know, when we were surrounded by helping allies? You know it."

"But Konoha attacked the convoys?" Hughes-san didn't look happy.

"The convoys attacked _us_," TenTen corrected him. "When the convoys refused to send officials to meet with her and then tried to shove their way in, we had no choice to defend ourselves. Their actions just screamed of an enemy trying to sneak in."

Hughes-san nodded, a little disturbed by this information. "And our forces retaliated?"

"And then some. We evacuated most of our civilians into the countryside, and engaged in guerilla warfare." TenTen bit down hard before continuing. "Even then, we only lasted three months."

"Technology can do that," Hughes-san sighed. "Especially when it's your-what-fourth war?"

"Fourth time Konoha was demolished in three years," TenTen said, keeping this figure's near-hopelessness out of her voice. "And now I'm here, seeing if I can learn anything to help this end peacefully."

"As a high schooler?"

"Clandestine missions are a shinobi's specialty." Why else would their generation get away with their outfits? "We grow up fast in Konoha, but we'd just as soon avoid senseless death. And subjugation."

Hughes-san winced at the last word. "Do you have any family waiting for you?"

"Every citizen of Konoha is my family." See the Will of Fire for details.

"I mean your… you know… _family_."

"Yes. My mother, father, and uncle are now waiting for me in the afterlife." The first two had been killed by Madara, the latter when he came out of retirement against Americans.

Hughes-san watched her, clear pity in his eyes. TenTen felt a surge of annoyance at that, but at least it wasn't because she was a soldier. Just because she was still getting over it didn't mean she wanted sympathy.

"My condolences," Hughes-san sighed.

"It's not—"

"I have a three-year old daughter."

"Huh?"

"I left the military a bit after the Gulf War so that I wouldn't die and leave my wife Gracia alone. Neither of us would want to leave Elicia behind, either."

There was something of her father in the man, too. TenTen sighed, and smiled at him.

"Arigato, Hughes-san."

"Thank you as well, TenTen-san."

**End of chapter.**

_Angsty? Funny? Wangsty? Imbecillic? OOC? Too much OC dominance? Hughes shouldn't be a mere mall cop? Tell me in a review, please._

_1. I honestly don't know the origins of the Dallas Aquarium's specimens, although it is one of the nicer aquariums that I have been to. I just decided to be optimistic for once._


	15. Legend Land

_And here's this, for those still following me and those just tuning in. If you're new, please remember to review with several sentences. Or, Hell, even one will be enough to let me know I still have readers. Thanks! _

_**Warning:**__ You are about to endure a cram session on Shreveport/Bossier City. Knowing what the Hell I'm talking about may well prove useful in later chapters, but if it gets too painful you can always block out the names. Either way, have fun._

…

_More than 11 million Africans were transported to the Americas before the slave trade began winding down after 1850. Some 1.4 million died during the passage across the ocean._

TenTen's eyes widened as she re-read the numbers. Dammit. Had Dutch's ancestors been—she forced herself to keep reading.

_Many traders gained spectacular wealth, but companies did not always make profits. The English Royal African Company, for example, delivered 100,000—_one hundred thousand!—_slaves to the Caribbean and imported 30,000 tons of sugar to Britain, yet lost money after the few profitable years following its founding in 1672._

TenTen's eyes continued reading, forcing herself to remember that this had happened centuries before, that slaves weren't unheard of in the Shinobi Continent either…

_The imbalance of whites and blacks was even more extreme in the Caribbean. In the early 1700s, the British sugar islands had a population of about 150,000 people, only 30,000 of them Europeans. The remaining 80 percent were African slaves, as most indigenous people died fighting Europeans or the diseases they brought._

_Enslaved men and women suffered terribly. Most had been sold to Europeans by Africans by the west coast who acquired them through warfare or kidnapping. The vast majority were between fourteen and thirty-five years old. Before they were crammed onto ships for the three-month transatlantic trip, their heads were shaved, they were stripped naked, and some were branded with red-hot irons. Sailors and officers raped the women whenever they wished—*1_

TenTen stopped there for a minute. Normally she could just read and absorb, but she had never enjoyed reading about this kind of history. Still she continued reading from _The Making of the West_, noting pictures from the period that glossed over everything from work at a sugar mill to parks. TenTen got the impression that the only ones who really had it good were European nobles. Even the poor of their own countries lived in a squalor TenTen had never seen in Konoha—

A wet snout nudged TenTen's face. Fenrir gave a low whine in her ear, tail batting against the blankets.

"You need to go out?" TenTen asked as she set _The Making of the West_ onto the bedside table. The warm presence against her back stood in a huff, leaving a light shock of cold to her back as he hopped off the bed. TenTen smiled and swung her feet after him, and her bare feet gripped the rug as she stood. Fenrir waited for her by the door, trying to control his urgency by wiggling all of his back half. TenTen chuckled, glanced out the window… And realized that the sun was rising.

_Huh._

TenTen shrugged it off and followed Fenrir's black outline down the hall and stairwell, past the den and breakfast room, to the back door. Fenrir patiently waited as she unlocked the door, but almost instantly darted out the back door once it was open. TenTen watched him nose about in the early light, conflicted in her emotions. Part of her felt warm, already becoming attached to the gentle giant of a dog.

Another part was beginning to burn with anger as she absorbed what she had been reading. Religious intolerance in Europe prompting colonists to impose _their own_ religious intolerance on the "New World." Their taking the land of the native peoples to do so, claiming victory as so many as one hundred thousand succumbed to foreign disease. Europeans on both sides of the Atlantic fighting for their own freedom under government while taking the freedom of others. _Eleven_ _million_ slaves taken from Africa and carted across the ocean, in conditions eerily similar to the suitcasing of tropical birds. The destruction of nations and nature as "progress marched on."

_What're they doing to Konoha right now?_ the rest of her, the homesick part, wondered. She was almost scared to know. If she came back to find that Ichiraku had been out-competed by McDonald's, she was going on _such_ a rampage.

Yeah, like anyone from Hi no Kuni would stand for that kind of food, anyway.

Fenrir barreled back inside, looking particularly pleased. TenTen locked the door behind her and turned, making sure to keep her face ten centimeters away from the dragon sneaking up on her.

"**RAAAAWR!"** the red one—Zath—bellowed at her, at least managing to surprise her with the unmatching deep voice.

"Ō-hayō, Zath," TenTen beamed in an attempt to irk the little dragon. From the incredulous way that all six of his limbs dropped, she had probably succeeded.

"How'd you kno~ow?" Zath demanded.

"I'm a ninja," TenTen smiled, absently stroking Fenrir's head.

"And you've been up all night!"

"Oops."

Zath glared daggers at her, floating dangerously close to her face. TenTen patted him on the head, and chuckled at another reaction of incredulity. And anger.

"_WHAT AM I, A CANARY?"_

"No, you're a dragon," TenTen smiled, picking him up by the spines on his back. "At least, I guess you are… you're so different from the dragons I'm used to…"

"_I'm European!_"

"Oh, right… I'm reading a bit about them right now." TenTen then set him on the counter, smile never wavering. "I should probably get back to that… It was nice talking to you, Zath."

"No it wasn't!"

TenTen just giggled and walked back into the den…

What were those things, and why were they jumping all over the room?

"You are the n00b!" one declared.

… How could something barely taller than Zath have such a normal speaking voice? Oh, wait, these were probably the gremlins Aubrey had mentioned. The ones who would steal her socks if she didn't leave the television remote in the right place. "Are you gremlins?"

"Who wants ta know?" another demanded.

"A n00b," the first one called back.

"Then how's she know we're gremlins?"

"Anoh, prob'ly."

"The sun's rising!" yet another screamed.

The tiny not-humans scattered into chaos, jumping over couches (despite their size) and running for the walls. Panels split along invisible seams, flapping doors like those for a dog, and gremlins poured into them as the sun drifted into view through a picture window.

In seconds, the den was silent.

Until Zath started ranting about freeloaders, anyway.

…

"Zath tells me you were up all night."

TenTen looked up from her toast to Malgen-san, who had not Zath but the green one—Sam—on her shoulder. The quiet little dragoness looked up at her with reptilian eyes and the most bizarre mixture of curiosity and knowing. "Hai. I made it to 1800."

"Nice," Aubrey said between mouthfuls of honey-dribbled toast. "Would you mind coming back to 2010 for the next few hours?"

"Sure. Today's a town run-down, right?"

"No, it's a towns run-down."

Right, there were two. "Shreveport and Bossier, right?"

"Yeah. Remember which one Magnet's in?"

"Sheveport, since it's _Caddo_ Magnet." Caddo being the state province—Parish—Shreveport was in. "And we're allowed to go to a public school outside our 'parish' because..?"

"We're just that smart," Aubrey smirked.

And apparently Magnet was one of the better schools. Aubrey liked it for its tolerance, or something, which was great. After yesterday, TenTen suspected that she could use a lot of that.

"Well, I'm off to the office." Malgen-san stood and pulled on an expensive-looking black jacket over her button-up top, again reminding TenTen that this was a particularly influential individual. She wondered how the woman behaved on the job… "Have fun around town, and don't forget to pack extra fuel."

"I know," Aubrey sighed, nipping sticky-sweet honey from slender fingertips.

_Even __**that**__ looks dignified,_ TenTen noted with a sigh.

"There's really no point in leaving during the morning rush," Aubrey told her before chugging the rest of her apple juice. "Do you want to leave around 9:30-ish?

The clock read 7:33. "Sure," TenTen shrugged as she took her dishware to the sink. Fifteen seconds later her dishes were in the drying rack, and Aubrey was scrubbing her own in the soapy water. She then dried her hands, rubbed behind Corona's ears, and excused herself back upstairs. Which was fine with TenTen.

Back to finding even more reasons to curse America.

…

"**BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**

TenTen jumped in alarm, eyes shooting to the wall opposite her bed. The one that supposedly had a bookshelf buffering out noise, the one that separated her room from Aubrey's… and the one that had just exploded in laughter.

"Aha… **HAHAHAHAAA~! EHEHEHEHEHEEEE~!"**

It was the start of several crosses of maniacal laughter and insane, screeching cackles. TenTen shared a look with Fenrir, who somehow seemed used to all of this, and sighed before marking her place. Several more shouts of laughter were audible in the hall, and TenTen had to briefly wonder if Kamaka the Ferret was tickling Aubrey to death or something.

She tapped on the door to find out.

"It's open," Aubrey's clear, calm voice called. TenTen detected more mirth than usual, though, and took it as a sign to open the door.

Aubrey and her bed were in the far right corner of a room much like TenTen's. Shelves of books or pale blue walls, ripple-painted ceiling, curtains a darker blue than TenTen's, dark wood floors softened by a ripple-patterned rug, dark oak furniture matching the bed built into the wall… Bizarre, prehistoric creatures sketched on the walls in charcoal…

That was just TenTen's peripheral. Her gaze was on Aubrey, curled up in a navy comforter, still wearing a black tank, and armed with nothing but a silver laptop.

"Did you need something?" Aubrey asked, not bothering to move.

"… I was wondering why you were cackling?"

"Oh. Sorry, did you hear that?"

"Yeah. I was already awake, but…"

"I was just reading a particularly good fanfic, perhaps the longest one-shot ever. The words 'Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy lemon' wouldn't mean anything to you, would they?"

"No."

"Yaoi?"

TenTen blinked. "Yes. What does lemon mean?"

"When referring to fanfics, sex."

TenTen was almost scared to ask, but did anyway. "And what are fanfics?"

"Fan fictions. Fans of a show, book, series, etc. write their own plots for the poor, defenseless characters. Sturgeon's Law applies."

"Sturgeon's Law."

"For every good thing written, there are at least nine heaps of rubbish. This fic is a _very _good thing."

"How so?"

"One, the writing and humor are bloody brilliant, and you know that means something coming from me."

TenTen guessed. She'd only known Aubrey for 3 days, though.

"Two, in the actual books both Harry and Draco are very much straight and despise each other very much."

TenTen twitched, remembering the inane…people who tried to pair off Neji and Lee or (arguably worse) Lee and Gai-sensei. Harry and Draco weren't even _real_ and she wanted to stand up for them. "So how is number two a good thing?"

"With every other line, I can imagine canon Harry and Draco reading this and writhing in pure agony. It makes me feel nice and warm inside."

"You're insane," TenTen said bluntly.

"Yep," Aubrey replied.

"Who else would come up with this, anyway?"

"Judging from the profile, a yaoi fangirl."

"Does she say so?"

"She vehemently writes nothing but slash and has published 20 slash fics for this book series alone. She's quite particular about it, too."

"Okay, I don't want to know!"

"But you're the one who came asking why I was laughing."

"I didn't expect it to be something like that."

"What do you have against homosexuality?"

"NOTHING, except for when people try to make straight people out to be otherwise."

Aubrey nodded sagely, possibly saving her head. "Alright, then, I'll try to keep the volume to a minimum. Ready to go?"

"Sure, why not."

"Okay. Let me grab my stuff, then."

…

"Does that say… 'Runaway Needle'?" TenTen asked, looking over the emerald-painted sign.

"Yep. It's the only place I can think of that still has a decent swimsuit selection."

Wow. They really _were_ giving her the full wardrobe, huh? Out they piled, quickly passing into the gray-bricked building…

Curtains lined the windows to dampen the noise of traffic, scarves hung from the ceiling to soften the glare of fluorescent lights, and scrolls hung where clothing didn't. Overall, TenTen was happy to note that it didn't look like any other store around—

"Aubrey," a woman's voice called.

TenTen turned to see a woman somewhat their senior, all black curls and strong attitude.

"Cana," Aubrey smiled in return. "Cana, this is TenTen, who's staying with us as a foreign exchange student. TenTen, this is Cana Alberone, who just graduated Magnet."

"'Just'?" Cana-san echoed. "That was three years ago."

"You're still a student, so yes. _Just_."

Cana-san snorted. "So what're you in for this time?"

"Someone needs a swimsuit."

"Didn't think you'd need one through December, eh?" Cana-san teased.

"Something like that," TenTen sighed.

"Over here, then. The boss-lady keeps 'em stocked year-round."

TenTen was curious about the 'boss-lady,' but followed Cana-san to a corner of the store, lined with women's swimwear. To her immense delight, she spotted several halters. And, more importantly, boyleg swim shorts. In crimson.

Better yet, there was one similar to Ino's usual clothing: the turtleneck halter that could conceal the _thing_ on her chest.

Aubrey smirked approvingly.

Cana-san led TenTen back to the changing rooms, where TenTen spent a minute or so double-checking "security" before stripping… And freezing when she saw that _thing_, that stupid seal, resting mockingly between her collarbones and bust, as closely over the heart as the jerk of a sealer could have stuck it.

It started as an X, then the runes inked between the lines, then the spiral of runes surrounding them. When TenTen turned, she could see its larger counterpart on her back, full coverage of her heart even through spine and shoulder blades. Lord Hokage, she hated this thing.

TenTen tugged the top in place and followed it with the bottoms. Some type of paper was in said bottoms, apparently hygienic in nature, but it didn't bug her too badly. TenTen gave her figure a once-over.

Cana-san had been spot-on with the sizing, and it showed. The fabric clung to her body without being invasive about it, showing off the abs the other girls were terrified of having. Even Sakura, but at least she had an excuse not to need it. Kinda.

"And?" Aubrey called.

TenTen double-checked the line of the thing before stepping out of the stall. Cana-san was watching the line of it as well, analytical without being invasive.

"It's a good fit," she mused after a moment. "I'm surprised, though."

"Hm?"

"Most girls with a bust your size want to show it off as much as possible.

"Pardon my modesty," TenTen teased with an eye-roll… Before realizing how much she sounded like Aubrey. After three days!

"You're excused," Cana amicably snarked back before going to help another customer. "Nice abs, by the by."

…

"And this is Pierre Bossier Mall," Aubrey informed her, "home to one of the few weapon stores we can safely enter."

"You know the owners?"

"No, they also sell figurines and greeting cards."

_So we have an excuse,_ TenTen concluded from the otherwise bizarre response. Aubrey expertly swung into a spot, and again TenTen found herself looking up at the behemoth of a building. Not that Dallas hadn't had ridiculously bigger buildings, just… This one went way too much out of its way to look like a behemoth.

The girls walked through the doors, heads held high, TenTen actually in "her own" clothes this time. She guessed. This time Aubrey led her less toward the obnoxious clothing stores and more toward "the fun stores." The HotTopic (fangirl-free, today, it seemed), the Spencer's (Amaterasu-sama, please don't let Lee see this!), the FYE (with the same weird stuff as the one in Dallas, and what was supposedly Japanese culture).

"_Bleach_?" TenTen asked, picking up the case of something called a DVD.

"Currently the most popular anime and manga in America," Aubrey replied, glancing over the shelves. "Or at least the most well-known. I personally prefer _Hellsing_ and KKJ."

"I know what _Bleach_ is," TenTen replied. "We know about Western stuff mainly through Japan, after all. But what about the other two?"

"A vampire gore-fest horror, and one of the deeper Shojo respectively. Even if it does end with Babies Ever After."

"Babies Ever After?"

"We're getting on TV Tropes, tonight."

What the Hell was a 'trope'?

…

What the Hell was this? TenTen's eyes carefully analyzed the red-bladed, ridiculously ornate weapon, seeking some clue… Ah.

The makers had been sloppy, the glue visible where the red blade met the dark gray, dragon-carved handle. It may have looked "cool," but it would be absolutely useless in combat. Like the Keyblade hanging on the wall, or the replicas of "katana" from _Bleach_. Katana weren't meant to bend that way!

TenTen's eyes moved to the shorter, wider blades that Aubrey called "machetes." They looked effective, but maybe the makers had just been more careful. TenTen moved her gaze to the knives.

There were some good, albeit different throwing knives. Flat metal with a hole in the handle, slightly curved for a good throw, simple and easy to clean… But with no real grip and thus absolutely useless in close combat. The majority of the knives had blades that folded into the handle, which would make them useful to carry…

But damn if those weren't some small blades.

TenTen glanced at Aubrey, who was in turn glancing at her when not looking at the variety of katana on the wall. Both pairs of eyes acknowledged that this place would be nigh-useless for rebuilding a proper arsenal. It was just good that she now knew this. With a last look at the animal figurines covering one of the walls, both girls slipped away from Generations.

They visited three more shops and the arcade, where TenTen learned of Aubrey's all-time favorite "video game": _House of the Dead._

_Aubrey must like horror,_ TenTen decided, watching the girl make perfect shots with the plastic weapon.

"Four has better graphics, but this one brings up quite a few memories," Aubrey said absently. "The silliest of all being, 'five-year-old girls shouldn't play that!'"

TenTen snorted, again looking over the young families, children, and teens calling the place fun. Not a single small child near the game. Older boys, sure, probably ten, but it looked like most parents were deliberately avoiding this area…

Aubrey played through the level, working more on memory than she was on reflex. At some point TenTen joined in, and soon found this type of game to be the unholy combination of amusing and frustrating.

Amusing, because she was "shooting" at living dead things and learning how to somewhat wield a pistol.

Annoying, because it was simulated and she had to use a pistol.

"If you want," Aubrey said in a low voice while shooting at the latest "boss," "we can teach you how to use a gun. Just in case."

"That's a pretty big betrayal of Konoha," TenTen told her, "practical or not."

""Then what are you doing, now?"

"I know, I know. I'm being corrupted," TenTen sighed before setting the weapon aside.

Aubrey sighed alongside her and handed her pistol off to a happy-looking little boy, and his buddy quickly grabbed TenTen's discarded "weapon."

The thing was too light to even be a decent bludgeon, and definitely too wide for a decent shot through the eye socket.

_At least they won't mistake me for a hostile_, TenTen told herself as they vacated the mall. It was now 10:46, and Aubrey was ready to get back on the road. Where to, TenTen wasn't sure.

A review of Airline Drive and Benton Road, the parallel thoroughfares of Bossier City—the former filled to the brim with what Aubrey grimly called corporate sprawl, and the latter a lighter-trafficed haven for smaller businesses. Mostly. The roads joining them—Viking, Shed, Texas, Barkesdale, Old Minden Road… and "poor, defenseless Melrose Avenue."

"It had the misfortune of having a WalMart tacked onto the end," Aubrey explained.

TenTen glanced around the intersection—to the winding residential street on her left, and on her right yet another giant box of a building looming over a ridiculously huge expanse of parking lot. What was so bad about this particular establishment?

"WalMart uses rock-bottom prices to drive out smaller businesses," Aubrey explained. "Besides doing everything possible to keep all of their workers part-time—and thus deny them the benefits of full-time employment—they garner insane amounts of traffic. And since Melrose is a thru street to Benton and got this lovely intersection…"

TenTen looked pityingly at the street they had just turned onto. "How bad is the traffic?"

"Pretty bad for the people who remember when they could let their cats roam and their children play in the front yard."

A furry splatter on the road drove the point home. It took TenTen several moments to realize that she had just seen a flattened squirrel. A squirrel, crushed by the tires of a multi-ton car… And another not a block away. TenTen felt her stomach twist.

_Please don't let Lee see these._

"Did you live here?" TenTen asked, trying to tame her revulsion at yet another aspect of American culture. Killing for war or food was one thing. _That_ was a monstrosity.

"No, a relative did. Helps out when you want to know the back roads."

Which Aubrey apparently did, given how she expertly navigated twisting residential road—with eyes always watching for animals or children.

Something bounced in TenTen's peripheral, and she barely saw the ball before Aubrey hit the brakes. The car swerved left, and came to a stop almost perpendicular to the road—

And two feet away from the dog chasing the ball.

"Lila!" a female voice shouted. TenTen turned to see a teenage girl shouting for her dog, tied between anger and relief. "Don't do that," the girl ordered, wrapping her arms in thick, golden fur. "Thank you!" she shouted. TenTen and Aubrey waved as the latter re-angled the car.

"Thank you so much!"

"I have dogs, too," Aubrey called back before driving off. TenTen didn't miss the way she slowed down when a squirrel darted into her path. It ran back and forth, spastic, before finally dodging up a tree.

No wonder they were flattened every few blocks…

TenTen mentally shook her head, refusing to let herself sound detached. She would _not_ get used to this, no way, no how, absolutely not.

Aubrey sighed, and slowed yet again so that some tawny pigeons had time to fly off. "You're thinking about the roadkill."

That was slang. "America has _slang_ for that?"

"America has slang for just about everything."

"What's going on?"

"Huh?" Aubrey actually sounded puzzled.

"Name the slang for that."

"Wassup?"

"Huh?" TenTen echoed.

"What's up?" Aubrey elaborated.

"I see…"

"Oh."

TenTen glared, realizing that this was quickly becoming a game. "Let's get moving, then."

"Tally-ho."

"Is anybody actually home in there?"

"Earth to America?"

"… Apparently not…"

"Dur-dur-dur…"

"This could be an issue…"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Calm down."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"I think we're getting more into colloquial phrases."

"Oh well."

"And Aubrey?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly are knickers?"

"Underwear."

"… Oh."

"So."

"So what?"

"Ready for lunch?"

"I guess…"

"Good," Aubrey smirked, leaving residential areas behind as they passed under the interstate—I-20, apparently. "We'll be at one of my favorite picnic spots in 30 minutes."

"… Huh." Right, Aubrey had packed some bento…

"We're leaving Hamilton, one of Bossier's favorite backroads," Aubrey continued as they turned left at a light, "and this is the 'Authur Ray Teague Parkway'—just call it the Teague."

"Okay…" The ridiculously open, ground-level interstate ran perhaps one hundred meters from the Red River, a space of trees and grass in between. The left-hand side had more topiary to conceal Bossier City behind. If TenTen hadn't already been outside, she' have thought the day to be perfect—not a humid hell of an oven.

Which made her curious about Aubrey's "picnic spot."

So they drove along the river, with Aubrey delivering stories of Captain Henry Miller Shreve, namesake of Shreveport and clearer of the great logjams of the Red River. They had been down South, where the Red met North America's biggest river the Mississippi, and the tugboats had made it possible to navigate the rowdy Red.

Aubrey called it that with fondness as they crossed the Jimmy Davis Bridge into Shreveport and circled off onto another Parkway—the Clyde Fant. Before the levees that would reak so much havoc, the Red and Mississippi had both been fond of changing their paths—building up enough sediment along the river bottom that they would eventually need to flood the nearest lowlands…

"Now they're constrained to easily navigable channels," Aubrey snorted. "Like the Red gets that much traffic, anyway. The only large boats we really see are the casino boats." (Apparently Louisiana could have casinos, so long as they weren't on land) "The Mississippi may, but that silt is a lot more valuable."

"Explain." As if Aubrey wouldn't, already.

"You know how on maps, the rivers are drawn as thin blue lines?"

"Yeah…"

"If someone were to accurately draw the Mississippi system and its tributaries—complete with creeks and the whole watershed—five-sixths of America would be thickly webbed in blue."

… Wow.

"All of that water from Northern floods, all of that soil eroded each year… is dumped out of two points off the coast of Louisiana. Through the Achafalaya—which is pretty much the Red and younger than that log jam—and the mess of human-dredged waterways that used to be the Mississippi Delta. All of that soil is jettisoned out into the deep waters off of Louisiana's coast, instead of making new land. As it is, Louisiana's coasts are losing about 56 acres a year."

"56 acres a _year_?"

"Swallowed by the sea," Aubrey sighed, hands suspiciously tight on the steering wheel. She pulled off the road, through a gate marked "Bickham Dickson," and onto a gravel driveway.

It was clearly a floodplain, a wide and grassy dip in the earth whose river border was fringed with trees…

Except TenTen couldn't see the river through them. Aubrey pulled her keys from the ignition and grabbed two bags from the back, one containing their lunches…

And the other containing TenTen's new swimsuit…

"You may want this," Aubrey grinned.

TenTen blinked, then grinned in return.

It had been awhile since she'd gone swimming. TenTen heard the doors lock as they exited, and somewhere across the grass a dog barked. Paved walking trails were visible, indications of where the other two cars' occupants had vanished to.

Aubrey ignored these, leading TenTen toward the trees and into an open field. A levee was visible at the far end, a marker of the river's imposed boundary. Aubrey turned slightly into the woods, along a raised path of earth that led through the mercifully cool shade of trees.

They passed a large, stagnant pond, some odd-looking trees with curling paper bark—River Birch, apparently—and came to…

A beach.

TenTen blinked at the small stretch of sand, the calm waters formed by a jutting mass of rocks and grass and even trees… And almost instantly felt at peace. It was quiet and clear, far enough away from the Fant that the cars sounded like part of the breeze, almost as if she wasn't surrounded by American sprawl.

She easily slid off her sandals, moved to sink her toes into cool, sand-bottomed river water. It was only clear for several inches, beyond it progressively red-brown from sediment—hence the name "Red River."

She would have pulled on her swimsuit then and there had her stomach not growled.

…

TenTen lounged in the shade of a cottonwood tree, stomach full from peanut-butter-and-blackberry-jam sandwiches and plums and lemonade, watching the water almost hungrily. Fifteen more minutes before she could safely swim. She'd have normally ignored the guideline, but it was an unfamiliar swim spot—and Aubrey had warned her that the bottom liked to randomly drop off.

So they talked about how swim shoes were necessary because partiers liked disposing of bottles in the river and several dangerous animals lived in it, how to know you were stepping on the shell of an alligator snapping turtle, the best ways to wrestle with the highly clichéd alligator, the rarity of such a creature showing itself along this stretch of river, the clichés of them hiding out in Louisianians' back yards…

And then TenTen slipped behind a wide enough sycamore that she could change into her new swimsuit. When she returned, Aubrey was shrugging off her short-sleeve jacket to reveal a pale blue halter. Pale blue boy-legs, of all things, were similarly revealed beneath her black capris… and TenTen realized the disconcerting knowledge that she and Aubrey had similar taste in swimsuits.

TenTen was spared from scarring when Aubrey shook her hair out of its ponytail. Her glasses and wide-band watch followed, but the necklace remained—two circles of lapis lazuli, bigger set over smaller in silver—for some odd reason. TenTen fingered her own, and wondered if she should ask…

Then Aubrey zipped her feet into a pair of short boots of black fabric, and TenTen soon mourned the loss of being able to feel the sand when Aubrey pulled out a pair for her.

…

_When did I last go swimming with Team Gai..?_'

TenTen thought about it for a minute, drifting under the shade of a tree, cool water lapping at her skin. Given the wars, Gai-sensei's mission with Naruto, Neji's Jonin missions…

_Nine months ago,_ TenTen realized with a shock. That was the earliest that they would have had time, and even then it had been training…

_Note to self: When we're back in Konoha, arrange a party at the lake._ Even if it would likely be fall or even winter before their return. If so, then the hot springs. They had an indoor pool, and had been enough on the outskirts not to suffer damage…

Which made her think of Gai-sensei's first time taking them to a hot spring, which made her think of the first time Team Gai had gone swimming, which reminded TenTen of a time when Lee hadn't worn green speedos.

Which made her remember, with a dull pang, that she was no longer thirteen years old.

Which made her remember that she was no longer in Konoha.

…

If anything, Aubrey's damp hair made the spikes seem even more styled than before. TenTen glanced from the driver to the window as they pulled back off of the Fant, towards the Jimmy Davis Bridge, and onto yet another four-lane highway.

"This is East 70th Street," Aubrey said as they passed small restaurants and businesses—mainly restaurants separated by—for America—large spaces of grass. "Gerald Savoie's— pretty good crawfish, plenty of bars… And the business district."

One intersection. One intersection separated the small-town look (for America) from the usual press of buildings along the curving road. At least these were small, only one-story, but there were just so _many_.

"Mainly offices," Aubrey continued. "Dentist offices, Insurance, small businesses, etc. The real fun comes around Youree. And that's King's Highway, a much nicer drive but far less prominent in terms of businesses."

TenTen suspected that the two normally went hand in hand.

After they crossed that intersection and TenTen caught a glimpse of a pretty, tree-lined curve of four-lane road, she had glanced back ahead…

And saw nothing but WalMart-sized buildings looming ahead.

"Youree's home to most of the nicer chain restaurants, stores, etc. that one can find in Shreveport. It's like Airline, only worse."

Clearly. As they stopped at yet another light, TenTen glanced down either direction of road to see nothing but lights and monoliths either way. The buildings were nowhere near the size of Dallas, of course, but it was the _sprawl_, the waste of space, the…

"I remember when this was nothing but cotton fields," Aubrey said quietly. "I remember that as Aubrey Malgen."

Aubrey Malgen was 16 years old.

"The same goes for Airline and Benton Road. Now almost everything past I-220 is covered in houses."

I-220, the other major Interstate TenTen had seen, cutting across both Airline and Benton Road as a block between Melrose and the highway to MalgenHouse.

"Is America growing that much?"

"The sprawl of suburbia has become quite fashionable," Aubrey sighed as the light changed. "Never mind that most of the world is starving in poverty and we're in desperate need of more arable land. The one thing every town needs is a dozen new strip centers."

TenTen noted just how bitter Aubrey sounded. "Why don't you do something?"

"I try, but in case you've missed it, my body is 16."

"So? I know someone who made Jonin at 16. Another who made it before most graduate the Academy." Given that the Third Ninja War made for different promotion standards and all, it was still quite something for Kakashi to manage. "So what's the big deal about age?"

"A lot, given that this is a nation where you are not an adult, depending on the standard, at age 16, 17, 18, or 21, and most 16-year olds are still in school. Nowhere near the most advanced schools at that. Most adults ignore what I have to say on principle. I'm well-published under pseudonym, but I'm hardly in a position to speak at events. Even local politics and gatherings are reserved to legal adults."

"So what?" TenTen butted in, ignoring the so-whats. "You're not a teenager. Not really."

"The general populace does not know this. Hell, the world leaders don't know this, nor do most of the Mystical."

"Who exactly."

Aubrey swung her car into a parking spot and pulled through, so that she wouldn't need to back out. "The Mystical—witches, vampires, shapeshifters, faeries, spirits, and other denizens of 'folklore'—I'm a witch, remember?"

"How could I forget." Vampires? Seriously?

"Well have you noticed that most people talk about them like they're not real?"

"Yeah…"

"Most of these creatures are young, weak, and scared of being discovered, even without my age altering the equation. So they really don't need to be ratted out, especially since not even the Monster Hunters know that my kind—humans with power—exist. And since this isn't the conversation to hold in the parking lot of Barnes and Noble…"

TenTen complied and slipped out of the car, noting that this was the first time Aubrey had really sounded angry or bitter or really all that urgent.

It was either this, or let herself be weighed down by the bombshell of Aubrey's own war. She'd process that when she wasn't about to analyze one of America's major chains of bookstores. She walked alongside an already-normal Aubrey over an expanse of asphalt, toward a large white building dominated by green lettering.

It was more elegant than most store signs, at least, and the cool of the A/C was nice against her face. A large white desk stood directly in front of her, but TenTen's gaze spread out to the giant room as a whole. Some type of instrumental music drifted down over shelves upon shelves of books, and a small restaurant was tucked into the right-hand corner. The volume was low, the air peaceful, the space inviting to those who read books.

There were also fluorescent lights, but it was easily the most comfortable mega-store she'd been in. Of course, that was probably because of the books. Aubrey led her down the main aisle, pointing out the Fiction on the right, the books on religion and self-help and cooking (!) on the left… giving way to history and current events. Beyond that lay a wall separating them another section, and a sign over the entryway indicated the children's section.

_They specify what kids should and shouldn't read?_ TenTen mused, the concept foreign. In Konoha, the only things determining your reading material were your parents and your vocabulary. Then she noticed the "Teens" section across the main walkway in Fictionland and began to understand Aubrey's emphasis on age.

If the bookstores engaged in this kind of segregation, and the schools were so hell-bent on age instead of maturity, no wonder Aubrey had to doubt her own influence. If teenagers were expected to read fiction—and mostly fantasy romances at that—how would Aubrey—never mind TenTen, who had just gotten here—make a dent in the system?

Then she remembered Officer Hughes, and decided that maybe there were enough adults to do something. And it wasn't like TenTen was used to having to work without her elders' help, or anything. So she snorted at yet another shelf of most likely vapid reading, turned to go back to the smart section, and just happened to glimpse a shelf of kanji.

TenTen nearly bolted to the end of the aisle, came to a wall of shelf one and a half times her height, and realized that most of it was filled with manga.

_A lot_ of manga. _Bleach_ took up a lot of shelf space, and TenTen was able to find _Hellsing_ easily enough, but _KKJ_ eluded her despite the alphabetization. Still, there were plenty of titles to choose from…

And with a pang, TenTen realized that every last one had been translated into English. Some had even been rendered into mirror-images so that they could read left to right. If she was lucky, the Japanese title was left on the cover and the character bios included the Japanese print of the names. Which royally sucked, but TenTen probably shouldn't have been too surprised.

So, ahead of the Americans in every series that she cared to read, TenTen stalked back to the section Aubrey hadn't left…

And discovered, to her immense joy, that there actually were Americans who not only knew what was going on in the world, but felt the need to write on it.

That joy was promptly drowned when Aubrey pointed out that most Americans didn't read the newspapers, never mind educational books.

Well, besides students, but text books tended to be anywhere from five to fifty years old, especially in public schools.

Still, this section meant that someone in America would listen to TenTen, somebody besides a mall cop. Thus she was in a much better mood when they strolled out of the store, five books per bag and three bags total, not a single one for school.

Actually, TenTen resolved to finish _Fast Food Nation_ tonight, or at the very least read herself to sleep on it. They piled into the car, setting the bags on the back seat and sliding out of the lot to continue a tour of East 70th.

…

The building was massive, and not like the things called strip centers. There was actual architectural skill involved, presenting itself in the form of tall, narrow windows of dark glass and arches and a tower and an actual kept field of grass and an attempt at artistry even with the parking lot…

"Christianity is the dominant religion in America, so I thought I'd show you one of my favorite local churches," Aubrey explained. "Welcome to St. Mark's Cathedral."

This was Aubrey's idea of a break from expanses of buildings. They pulled into the near-empty lot, so that TenTen could look at the individual windows and pale tan bricks that made up the building as a whole.

"It's modeled on the older cathedrals in Europe," Aubrey continued, "which may be why I like it so much."

Cathedrals—Catholic and Anglican, for the most part. Aubrey was Danish, so that would be the Catholic influence in all likelihood… "So this is a Catholic Church?"

"No, Episcopalian."

"Huh?" TenTen had only learned about Christian factions—denominations—because they were so integral in European and thus American history, and this one she didn't know.

"The American form of the Anglican Church," Aubrey explained. "The English—"

"Protestant Church," TenTen cut in, wanting to indicate her ability to learn.

Aubrey nodded. "There won't be a service right now, if you want to see the inside."

TenTen nodded, the die-hard researcher in her wanting to see what Western architecture was truly capable of. So Aubrey led her around to the front, through tall wooden doors…

The carved stone—no, shaped cement—entryway was taller than that of Malgen House and spread much wider, and the windows' twilight light shone darkly upon row upon row of darkwood benches before her. The aisle parted them all the way up three marble stairs, past more tiered benches facing the aisle instead of the altar… And the altar itself, separated by a low wooden bar and row of floor cushions, made up of steps forming a dais for the ridiculously high, carved box of a… table?

The length of the room spoke of grandeur, and as TenTen passed the high-backed benches she could finally see the scope of the ceiling—arched, ribbed almost like a boat, illuminated again by the soft blue glow of countless stained glass windows. The most beautiful of all hung high over the altar, large and round and described in the books as a rose window.

This place spoke simultaneously of wealth and craftsmanship, of which TenTen had only seen signs of together at Malgen House. Her fingers brushed a statue of a man with wings, flanking the first three stairs alongside something called a pulpit, carrying a heavy platform on his shoulders—the world's most elaborate podium.

TenTen looked back to where Aubrey was sitting in a pew, and saw why the entryway was so much lower—it was supporting a tall balcony, lined with still more benches, three sections of them stairstepping back toward the elaborate arch windows TenTen had first seen outside. Figures and colors danced in windows even more elaborate than the rose window, most prominently centered around the figure TenTen guessed was the founder of the religion Jesus Christ.

"What do you think?" Aubrey asked, voice echoing in the previously silent space.

"This is one wealthy religion," TenTen answered, looking over still-more sections of seating and a smaller section of worship.

"A particularly wealthy _faction_ of said religion," Aubrey replied, walking down the aisle in a manner so at ease in the space—she never seemed so at ease in a building other than Malgen House. Her feet barely tapped the dark green flagstones, but even that small noise echoed in the space. "Still," she finally said, fingers brushing the steps' short wooden railing, "it's a bungalow compared to Chartres or the Apostolic Palace. Or even the Washington National Cathedral."

Which only made TenTen curious.

"It's not even two hundred years old, yet," Aubrey explained. "Even if the National Cathedral is a bit younger, it had far more funding. And I'll assume that you know about Europe's former church budget.

Sky-high. TenTen looked again about the place, amazed at the feeling of calm the place contained. Like a mountaintop shrine or an isolated country grove, not a huge building in the middle of an American city. The air was cool, not breezy, not at all as omnipresent or proud as TenTen had imagined a church to be. Sure it was massive, but…

It didn't seem to gloat, only to offer sanctuary.

"There's also a private school here," Aubrey said as she broke the silence. "Want to see what America's age equivalent of the Academy is like? For the privledged, anyway?"

"Sure," TenTen shrugged, but paused. "Quick question."

"Hm?"

"What's with those seats?" TenTen pointed toward the benches perpendicular to almost every other row in the church, between the stairs and the alter.

"The chancel," Aubrey explained. "Where the choir sits at the main services—or stands, depending on whether or not they're singing."

"Huh."

"_A~"_ Aubrey's voice chimed without warning. TenTen was shocked when it filled the whole church and echoed back. "This place has good acoustics."

"You _sing_?"

"And play the flute, guitar, violin, recorder, panflute, drums…"

"… Oh." Now that she thought about it, there _had_ been instruments in the library, and Aubrey's room… "Why haven't I heard you?"

"It's something I only sometimes feel like doing."

"Like now?"

"Yep."

"So sing."

Aubrey looked at her for a moment, and shrugged before expanding her lungs… shoulders never rising, indicating formal training. _"Pi-ye, Ye-su… Do~__**o**__mine… Dona eis… re…qui-__**e~m**__…"_

TenTen blinked, taken aback by the power Aubrey's voice contained as she shaped the air in her throat, filling every centimeter of the room with dulcet low notes. _She's definitely an alto._ *2

When she finally finished singing mostly the same words, the first thing TenTen asked was naturally "What language was that?"

"Latin," Aubrey replied, voice easily returning to speaking tones. "'Please Lord Jesus, give them peace, eternal peace.'"

"…Ah." For some reason, TenTen wasn't too surprised that Aubrey had chosen to sing a funeral dirge.

… Why did Aubrey's eyes suddenly look quite mischievous?

"Want to see the fun areas?"

"Fun areas?"

"The bell tower, the Parish Hall, the foundations…"

…

"And now for St. Mark's Cathedral School."

Aubrey and TenTen scrambled back out from underground, the latter thankful that the weather had been dry—that place was a mud trap waiting to happen.

Aubrey led the way through far less ornate—but still clean—office halls to a straight stretch of doors and cubby holes. And two turns later another hall of doors. And more for the next two floors, all empty and awaiting the return of students. It had seemed shockingly similar to the Academy, save for carpet instead of tile and individual desks instead of long tables. … And extremely decorated doors, all with some wacky theme. Lots of autumn leaves, lots of animal themes… including pink flamingoes… all with the name of some teacher, all of them starting with "Mrs."

"Male teachers are a bit rare, especially below high school," Aubrey explained. "All this school has that come close are a principle and a coach."

… Wow. What would Iruka-sensei have to say to that?

They took a longer route back, passing playgrounds and empty fields… and an auditorium with a backstage Aubrey knew _way_ too well… and circled half the complex before returning to the large lot with Aubrey's car.

"Onward to Line Avenue," Aubrey declared, "refuge for most of Shreveport's small shops."

Indeed. Line Avenue was aptly named, a straight line from I-20 past East 70th Street, lined with almost nothing but regular-sized shops and houses. Even a large park, clearly still a park because it was a grassy bowl in the earth obviously prone to flooding.

With a slight shock, TenTen realized that it was already 5:30. Aubrey was turning back down Line, making a right on a street TenTen hadn't managed to identify… And then onto a wide, somewhat less peaceful collection of small shops TenTen was near-shocked to discover was Youree.

"More of Shreveport's small shops," Aubrey smiled. "We're meeting Mom for dinner, if you don't mind."

TenTen didn't mind that—dinner was an inviting thought—but she did mind something. As Aubrey drove calmly down the busy street TenTen had learned of hours before, she finally knew what it was:

She was sick of the constant surprises. Being taken all over town, even of it was to show her around, and then finding out that they were doing the one thing done only twice before because they were in Dallas—eating out. Couldn't Aubrey have told her that much before they set out, that there would be a swim and constant driving and a cathedral and dinner plans… And why was she only now annoyed by all of this?

Aubrey pulled into a far smaller parking lot, dislodging TenTen's train of thoughts—the kunoichi instantly righted it before losing it completely, wrapping it up in her buzzing Shinobi sense but almost losing it when she saw the name of the restaurant.

In bold red letters, over a comfortable little building, were the English letters ICHIBAN.

In what Aubrey called "Romanji," TenTen saw a clearly Japanese restaurant name.

"It's the most authentic you'll get around here," Aubrey explained as the Malgenmobile pulled into the lot. "We wanted to surprise you."

TenTen blinked in surprise at the gesture, and had to remind herself of her important thoughts forming. She watched Malgen-san emerge, suit jacket gone and blue button-up rolled up to her elbows, looking somewhat casual despite the navy blue dress pants and shoes.

"Who's hungry?" Malgen-san declared, with almost no hint of the professionalism her job should have required. Aubrey and TenTen both smirked, and the strange… trio waltzed into ICHIBAN.

_Ichiban_, TenTen inwardly snorted. _I'll bet Ichi__**raku**__'s better._

**End of chapter.**

_Manga lives! Need of crossovers be damned, there's no way in Hell I'm making this a world with no manga. The central force of the Insane Group would be removed, otherwise! And, yes, I am aware that this is my longest chapter yet. Kinda hard to give you a grasp of the setting otherwise. Was it too boring? Too much info? Not enough character focus? I'd like to know when you review. Not if, reader. __**When.**_

_1. _Hunt, Lynn. _The Making of the West. _3rd Ed. Boston/New York: Bedford/St. Martin's 2010, pp. 523-525.

_Alto- a female singer whose vocal cords can't shape the infamous high-notes. The low-note counterparts of the more famous Sopranos. Sorry for the choir terms._

_PS: I don't own any of the places mentioned in the story, all of which are real. Or _Naruto_, _Bleach_, or_ The Making of the West _cited here in MLA Documentation. Doi._


	16. Enough

_Before I begin, I would like to explicitly state that Briggs Wild Cat Sanctuary is based on actual sanctuaries for exotics, predominately the one at which I work. Given the nature of this fic and possible unreasonable conjectures, I'm making up a new one. Oh, and I don't own Ichiban, _Naruto_, _Fairy Tail_, or _TDI_. Yes, _Total Drama Island_. _

_Enjoy._

It looked _nothing_ like Ichiraku. Old red booths lined the left-hand wall, the space between it and what was probably the kitchen filled with rows of tables covered in blue cloth. Slightly familiar smells drifted upwards in the somewhat darkened room, and the chatter seemed amplified when it attacked TenTen's ears.

"Hello," a blonde waitress beamed, clearly recognizing the Malgens. "The back booth's the only one still open, if you're staying, today."

"We are, thanks," Malgen-san smiled. She and Aubrey turned and headed back toward and then past the door, to a secluded booth set between two walls of white-paneled windows and the door's alcove. The Malgens slid into either side, leaving TenTen to sit by Aubrey as another waitress, slightly older and with gorgeous waves of white-blue hair, approached their table.

"Good afternoon, Malgen duo," the woman smiled. "And who might this be?"

"TenTen Ming," TenTen replied, realizing that she'd have to get used to giving her family name sooner or later.

"She's our foreign exchange student," Malgen-san beamed.

"Oh, wow," the woman smiled. "You'll probably be seeing more of my little sister, then." She motioned the first waitress, the one with short blonde hair and a somewhat childish face.

"Lisanna," Aubrey explained. "And this is Mirajane, who graduated with Cana."

"Oh, you've met Cana?"

"Swimsuit shopping," Aubrey and TenTen explained. Simultaneously, which just felt wrong. The only people TenTen spoke simultaneously with were Neji and occasionally Lee or Gai-sensei. _Not_ crazy American witches who were supposedly holding her prisoner.

"It does stay warm here for a long time," Mirajane-san beamed before putting a pen to her pad. "I'm guessing two lemonades with no ice, and..?" She looked down at TenTen with an easygoing smile.

"Do you have any teas?"

"Green tea and iced tea, sweet or unsweet."

_Iced tea, what? _"Green, please."

"Coming right up." She then disappeared around the corner, which made TenTen uneasily realize just how much of the room she couldn't see. And with the windows all but opaque…

"Here's a menu," Aubrey said, sliding TenTen a stiff sheet of paper… mounted in some sort of clear substance. "The sushi menu's on the back."

Not in the mood for sushi, TenTen looked over the first side. Tempura, teppanyaki, teriyaki, and other familiar words looked up from the paper in Romanji, tempting her with memories of home until she couldn't find ramen. They had udon, though… "What're you two getting?"

"Spicy shrimp udon," Aubrey said, having not so much as touched her menu.

"Sushi," Malgen-san smiled, also having not touched her menu.

As if it wasn't obvious enough that they were regulars. "Is the teriyaki any good?"

"Sure," Aubrey shrugged. "It comes in a bento box with sweet potato tempura, rice, fruit, and a piece of sushi."

"Coolness." Gah, another Aubrey word! And that sounded like a lot of food.

"Here we are," Mirajane-san smiled, setting out tall plastic glasses, a tea cup, a salad by Tenten, and little white bowls of… what? "Is everyone ready?"

"I believe so," Malgen-san smiled. "I would like one order of spider rolls and another of shrimp tempura rolls, please, and… hrm, what do you say, girls? Two orders of shrimp tempura for an appetizer?"

"Sure," Aubrey beamed. "And I would like the spicy shrimp udon."

TenTen waited for Mirajane-san to finish writing. "I would like the shrimp teriyaki bento, please." Normally, she'd go with beef, but every thought of it drifted back to _Fast Food Nation_. Ugh.

"Coming right up," Mirajane-san smiled. "Let me know how you like the miso."

Miso..? TenTen looked down again at the little white bowl, steaming with pale yellow broth and a cloud of white… The world's plainest miso soup. TenTen gave it a careful sniff. It was also the world's heaviest miso soup. The smell was thick in the air. But, hey, may as well see how America stacked up…

It was somewhat like drinking thinned bacon fat. It was warm and filling and not totally disgusting compared to Gai-sensei's protein shakes of doom, but she certainly didn't finish the bowl. The salad, meanwhile, was nothing but pale lettuce and some weird white sauce. Not something TenTen particularly wanted… of course Aubrey looked like she had expected this.

TenTen hadn't failed to notice that neither Malgen had been given one. The staff probably remembered not to even offer. She then sipped at her tea, which was much more acceptable, and the three chatted for a few minutes until two white plates appeared, each laid out with three long, fried shrimp… long enough to be _prawns_, actually… The accompanying dark brown sauce smelled like a better, sweeter version of the soup.

"Itadakimasu," Malgen-san beamed as she plucked one up by the tail like a kabob. Flakes of batter came off and into the sauce, but it wasn't like anything else was going in there.

Overall, lunch was an adventure in bravery. America still had its own flavor, even among supposedly traditional restaurants, but TenTen soon realized that her hopes hadn't been that high in the first place.

Therefore, it was no shock that Aubrey's udon smelled far spicier than any TenTen had seen previously (though nowhere near Curry of Life levels), Malgen-san's sushi was so ornate it looked like spun glass, or that her own bento box was the size of a table.

A small table, but still. It was also an unusually sweet teriyaki sauce. With well-cooked vegetables, but still. It was obvious from this and Six Flags that Americans liked to overdo the flavors. Perhaps they had already killed most of their taste buds with preservatives and were overcompensating? Revy had said American guys did that as it was…

Hey, the rice actually tasted good! TenTen happily plucked up another chunk with the same politeness displayed by the Malgens (who were just as skilled with chopsticks as they were with Western-ware), and Shinobi eyes discreetly darted across the room…

They paused to watch a grown man fumble hilariously with chopsticks. Actually… TenTen looked around the room to see most patrons fumbling hilariously, displaying the smallest modicum of proficiency, or just resorting to forks. Forks which even TenTen could now operate almost as well as Aubrey, who was proving that even udon could be eaten politely (something for Naruto to see).

It really said a lot about America, that she could adapt to their culture, but they couldn't (or wouldn't) adapt to hers. Well, they were eating in a Japanese restaurant—but on their turf— but still. Ichiban tasted different from Konoha, anyway.

"So," Malgen-san asked as she dipped another shrimp concoction, "where are you two going next?"

TenTen nearly dropped her chopsticks. _There's more?_

_Of course,_ some wry part of her mind drawled. _You've only been in __**Shreveport**__ for the past few hours. You still have to tour the __**rest of the shops we've passed**__, and then head over to __**Bossier**__. Maybe you'll get a sneak peak of __**the school**__ while they're at it._

"We may head back to the house after this," Aubrey shrugged. "We've seen a lot. Oh, and TenTen got a new swimsuit."

Malgen-san nodded, mouth full of… spider roll.

Holy cow, the Hyuuga clan didn't compose the rest of the world's polite eaters!

"So how does America stack up to Konoha?" Malgen-san smiled.

"It's bigger," TenTen said, voice flat. "Back home, most stores are no bigger than this room, never mind the size of Barnes and Noble—"

Someone dropped their chopsticks.

"Yo-you're from Konoha?" a slightly older man sputtered.

TenTen turned to the booth perpendicular to her own and gauged the shock and… apprehension in his eyes. He also had the eyes of a soldier, so how best to answer… how about an American expression. "Born and raised." _Please don't repeat the Six Flags incident…_

"When did you move here?" he asked with forced politeness, mental wheels visibly turning.

"Three days ago. I'm a foreign exchange student."

"Are you aware that some of your countrymen nearly wiped out my platoon?"

"Darryl, calm down," the woman across from him was whispering.

"Are you aware that your country has subjugated mine?" TenTen shot back, trying to place the face.

"Are you aware that our country doesn't make kids your age kill people?"

_Night raid. _

"Are you aware that they aren't _made_ to fight for their country, and the civilians didn't have to until _America _came along?"

_Supply train._

"Are you aware that we were _helping_ you people and you just killed every American in sight?"

_I killed the man next to him._

Unlike this vet, TenTen's face and voice betrayed _nothing_. "Are you aware that we didn't _need_ your help, and unlike most Americans I'm trying to _learn _about the country I'm suddenly in?"

"Are you aware—"

"Are you aware that the entire restaurant is staring at you?" Malgen-san inquired pleasantly.

TenTen blinked and yes, they were. The woman sitting with "Darryl" had lowered herself in her seat almost to the point of being under the table. The waitress sisters looked worried that a fight would break out. The patrons were staring with wonder and animosity at…

_Her._

"Could we, perhaps," Aubrey suggested, "agree to disagree? Right now both sides are trying to pick up the pieces."

With one last glare, Darryl turned away with muttered curses.

TenTen resumed eating, with the new reminder that she had a bulls-eye printed on her chest.

On either side of the heart, in black ink.

"Now I really can't wait for tomorrow," Aubrey sighed in the car.

"Hn?"

Aubrey blinked suddenly, her equivalent of a flinch. "You're going to meet a 'Nam vet."

Another vet? Oh, just perfect.

"Olivier Armstrong isn't the type to discriminate based on home or race. She's a bit of a Darwinist."

"Uh-huh."

"She's fun. Major General."

"Uhh…"

"This is her 'charity project.' Really, she just likes getting away from people."

"Ah."

"And gets along with most predators better than most humans."

"Humans can be predators, too."

"Hence why you two should get along fairly well."

As soon as they arrived, the first thing that TenTen did was go right back to her room and resume her reading. For extra fun, she pulled out a history of Shreveport to parallel her American studies. Which was fairly interesting; land bought from the Caddo tribe (parish namer), Captain Henry Miller Shreve clears the Red River's Great Log Jam by 1839, the port village of Shreve Town (later Shreveport) is named in his honor, Shreveport becomes a prosperous port city, American Civil War Confederate stronghold (_Amaterasu-hime_, the American Civil War…), Barkesdale Air Force Base opens in 1933, lost Red River navigability until the 1990's, first black mayor in 2006…

It was three in the morning, and TenTen had read through the Trail of Tears (if they did that to Konoha she _was_ killing every American in Hi no Kuni), the American Civil War (again, _Amaterasu-hime_—Hi no Kuni had nowhere _near _that population), Reconstruction, the Gilded Age (home of immigrant workers and slavery by a different name), "World War" I ("The War to End All Wars"), Prohibition (Tsunade-sama would have gone on a rampage), the Great Depression (Ouch), "World War" II (egad—Holy shit, the Americans had _what?_), the Cold War, the Korean War (the "Forgotten War"), McCarthyism (no real surprise), the Vietnam War (hopefully she'd be able to understand Armstrong-san, and there were still more things wrong with this country's citizens), The Civil Rights Movement, more wars, culture shock, a complete degradation of a lot of what the country had been founded on…

Separation of Church and State was interesting, especially once she learned why that would even have to be spelled out.

Then there were Freedoms of Speech, Assembly, Press, Religion, and _Petitioning the Government if it somehow failed to help the people_.

And a right to keep firearms.

Not having to shelter troops in one's home was only okay in context.

Protection from unreasonable search and seizure was pretty sheltering.

Guaranteed due process of law, not being tried twice for the same crime, not being forced to stand witness against one's self, and not having one's property unreasonably confiscated were equally nice. Dang, these people had been sheltered.

And a right to Trial by Jury in Criminal Cases, wow.

Ibiki-san would have a heart attack if he read about America's prohibition of excessive bail or "cruel and unusual punishment."

They even protected rights not even outlined in their own Constitution!

And whatever the Constitution didn't say was the government's domain, the states and people had complete control of it.

Well, Congress had usurped that last one a fair bit using the "regulation of interstate commerce" part of their charges. It probably didn't help that statistics showed most Americans not even reading their own Constitution, even though it was easily accessible.

The term "sheep" was coming to mind quite a bit.

"Are ya done yet?" Zath demanded.

TenTen blinked up at Zath, who was somehow holding up a plate of fried rice and teriyaki—her Ichiban leftovers.

"For tonight," she smiled.

"Ya mean this morning."

"It's still nighttime."

"Are ya hungry or not?"

"Yes, actually…"

"Here, I heated it for ya. Get some sleep, Tenny!"

And he was gone, for some odd reason reminding TenTen of _Bleach_'s Jinta. But the food was warm and lightly steaming, he had even remembered chopsticks, and she hadn't eaten in nine hours.

FOOD! Food from a not-Japanese restaurant, where you could run into fellow soldiers… whose comrade you had killed…

Why did she suddenly feel like Neji after he'd nearly killed Hinata? TenTen's chopsticks slowed as her gaze turned thoughtful. It wasn't the same, not at all; Neji had been out of control, TenTen was defending her country, and she was getting flak for it in America. And, heck, even TenTen's friends had been publicly shaming Neji…

Which was quite rare, since it wasn't like Neji not to think of the consequences. It wasn't like him to do something stupid, and it wasn't like him (even back then) to deliberately inconvenience his teammates. Still, TenTen couldn't help but be annoyed at the results of his fight with Hinata. Fortunately for him, TenTen was more annoyed with the busybodies bothering her about it.

"So, TenTen-chan," Harisaku-jiisan began.

"So, Harisaku-jiisan," TenTen smiled at her favorite fruit-seller.

"About your teammate… the Hyuuga."

TenTen instantly stopped looking at plums. "What about him?"

"Are you… _safe_ with him on your team?"

TenTen swallowed her ever-growing pit of rage, if only because this was a friend. Supposedly. "Of course I am. I'd trust him—and any member of my team—with my life."

"But… after what he did to his own _cousin_…"

"Not you too, Jii-san," TenTen sighed. "What exactly have you heard?" If she heard one more person say that Neji had used Fire Jutsu on Hinata…

"Well I don't typically pay much attention to rumors…"

"And I thank you for that."

"But when everyone's talking about how _your_ teammate just plowed over that shy little girl before she could even throw a punch…" He paused, watching her expression. "That didn't happen?"

"_No._ I'll admit that I didn't see it myself, but everyone there told me that Neji talked her down to the point of tears so that she wouldn't fight, she toughened up after a quick pep talk from Uzumaki Naruto and fought Neji but was no match for him anyway, then she said something about their clan that he got way too angry over. That's when the Jonin stepped in before he successfully charged her, and Hinata collapsed from the injuries he gave her in the fight she insisted on going through with. Anything else you hear is a lie."

"I'll keep that in mind. Plums, right?"

"Six, please."

"Hey, old man," a civilian beamed. "I'll take some…" His eyes suddenly fell on TenTen. "You're on Hyuuga Neji's team, right?"

"Yes…" Now where could she have seen _this_ look before?

"You tell him to stay far away from my daughters."

"…" TenTen blinked, and silently paid Harisaku-jiisan.

"I'm serious," the man pressed. "It's bad enough that I hear all about how 'Neji-kun' couldn't have _possibly_ hurt anyone, but if he takes advantage of them— Hey, quit laughing! This is serious!"

"Go-GohaHA-men… But you have my assurance that Neji has no _interest_" (she nearly broke into laughter, again) "in your daughters. Even when he's _not_ busy training for the Chunin Exams—"

"Oh, yeah, he's fighting the Uzumaki brat."

_Yes, a subject change—_

"I'm not sure which monster to root for."

_Or not._

"Oh, _yeah_," another man began. "I know exactly what you mean. Can you believe that guy just did that to his own cousin? Ninja can be so _bloodthirsty_ sometimes."

_Where's the respect?_

"I know alright," the dad nodded. "I have daughters to worry about."

_Well with a father like you…_

"And to think that boys like that are in _Konoha_, no less—"

"_Hey_," TenTen growled. "This is such a load of—" She didn't stop and turn because of the hand on her shoulder; she stopped and turned at the looks on the gossipers' faces. "Neji…"

"Hn." Neji slipped his hand back into his pocket and nodded toward an exit.

"But are you just gonna—"

"TenTen," Neji sighed, not even looking at the bad-mouthers. He'd clearly heard it all, already. It was a mark of how often he'd heard it all that he wasn't taking the time to tell them off in a nice, long criticism to put them in their places, and it was a mark of how sick of this TenTen was that she wanted to hear one…

TenTen forced herself to nod, and remembered her basket. "I need to drop this off on the way to the practice field."

"Hn." He looked a little more relieved than he should have.

"Sayonara, Harisaku-jiisan," TenTen waved.

"Have a good one, TenTen-chan. Oh, and Neji-kun."

The Hyuuga turned, a fair bit warily. "Hai?"

"Good luck in the Chuunin Exams."

"… Arigatou, Jii-san."

The old fruit seller nodded and winked at TenTen, who in turn gave a more honest smile than her last. The teammates walked off, but weren't far enough away to hear the gossipers protesting and Harisaku-jiisan's response about rumors, which made TenTen snigger.

That faded when she felt unfriendly eyes on her teammate, who was somehow able to remain completely calm. Even with his temper…

"_O-hayō, Neji-kun!"_ a group of (gag) fangirls squealed.

"Good luck on the exams!"

"Don't worry about what those guys say! We still love you!"

"Go, Neji!"

"SQUEEEEEE~!"

As always, Neji didn't even look at them as they passed. TenTen did her best not to, and vengefully hoped that a couple of them were that guy's daughters.

"Remind me not to sit by them," TenTen grumbled.

"Why _would _you?"

"Target practice."

She'd gotten a smirk for that, which generally helped with the rest of the walk. It could hardly be called companionable, though, given all of the glares and whispers that seemed to follow them. Getting home was definitely a blessing.

"Hey, Mom," TenTen called as they walked in. "Hey, Dad!"

"Hey, Ten," Dad called, "Guess who stopped by the shop?"

"Torigawa-san?" TenTen set the shopping basket on the table, silently apologizing to Neji for the delay. He shrugged.

"Yeah, for some post-exam fireworks. You know that's next week, right?"

"We know," TenTen drawled.

"Yeah, well, I can't wait," Dad laughed from around the corner (TenTen knew not to go into the mixing room without an invitation). "The sooner people stop bugging me to protect my daughter from her 'evil teammate,' the better." The mockery in his voice was obvious, but TenTen's apologetic eyes still darted to Neji. He shrugged, smirking. He and Dad got along pretty well.

"Yes, well," Mom smirked as she came into view, "it shows how much time they spend with Team Gai." (she winked at both Genin) "These people _do_ know that TenTen's a Shinobi, right?"

"Sure," Dad laughed as he leaned on a wall. "After I tell them. Then it's gasps of horror all around, as if they didn't know why she needs protecting from Neji in the first place. Hey Neji, you're not gonna do anything evil to my little baby, are you?"

"Of course not."

_Hopefully_ they knew. Neji had been over enough, after all. The whole team had.

"_But_," Dad continued, "if they give someone some chance for some audience participation. Don't so much as poke them or they'll start squealing bloody murder."

Neji chuckled. "Considering my technique, that would probably be wise."

Dad nodded seriously. "You're right. You want to use Fire Jutsu, instead."

"… I'm not an Uchiha."

Dad blinked. "Really? But I could have _sworn_ Jiro said you'd used Fire Jutsu on your cousin—_Oh~_" (he smacked his forehead) "Stupid rumors, I can't tell the ridiculous ones from the stupid ones."

"Okay, dear, we get it," Mom said with an eyeroll. "Gossipers are stupid, you're funny, and we can trust Team Gai with TenTen's safety. Speaking of which…"

"Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!" TenTen quickly took her escape cue. "Try not to drive off the customers with bad humor~"

"You can't talk," Dad called as TenTen closed the door.

Props for Dad; TenTen and Neji had a rather pleasant chat on their way to the training grounds.

It helped that they went by roof.

"So how was the Guide Meeting?"

"Nothing new," Malgen-san sighed after swallowing her toast. They'd gone over this every morning, after all. "Don't let the Shinobi out of your sight, don't let them on the Internet, give them the best view of America possible…

"Pillage, burn, brainwash, blah, blah, blah," Aubrey concluded. "And you remember that we're making contact, tonight?"

Alpha, Hinata's Guide.

Sesshomaru, Shino's Guide.

"How could I forget?"

Tonight, security was lowering just enough to get a secure message out…

TenTen frowned. Aubrey slowed down as the car ahead drove on, and at first TenTen saw nothing but a ball of gray rolling and bouncing on the pavement. Were a pair of squirrels fighting?

It stopped. A lone squirrel dropped to the ground, unmoving. TenTen's eyes widened with realization as Aubrey pulled off to the side and slipped out, hearing no approaching vehicles as she walked to the limp body.

It was a young squirrel, slightly depressed and unmoving ribcage betraying its manner of death. Instead of being crushed in an instant, this one had gotten to experience excruciating pain, first. TenTen felt her chest constrict as Aubrey lifted the tiny thing and walked back to the median, where she closed her eyes and placed a hand over the tiny torso…

The fur glowed the softest blue, the ribcage expanded to its original dimensions, and eyes not even glazed over by death blinked. It shot up in an instant, ignored TenTen's looks of pure shock, and looked up at Aubrey before bolting up a tree.

"But you-you just…"

"It was recent," Aubrey sighed, "and the spirit hadn't even left the body, yet. Easily reparable, too…" The witch then stood, looking TenTen calmly in the eye—"This stays between us, alright?"

TenTen could only nod and follow her back to the car, wrapping her head around the idea of Aubrey bringing back the dead. They drove on silently after that, Meeting discussion finished, into Bossier, to the low wall of Barkesdale Air Force Base. It was unnerving to see nothing but trees, rooftops of houses, and the occasional plane overhead. Aubrey had explained how families of personnel lived in base-issued housing, but this… Was this really a military installation?

Aubrey unlocked the door, and seconds later a black-clad girl hopped into the backseat, plopping a small messenger bag onto the floor.

"Hey, Aubrey," the girl smirked as she fished for the seatbelt.

"Hey, Gwen," Aubrey smirked back. "This is TenTen, your fellow foreign exchange student."

"Whaddya in for?" Gwen smirked as they shook hands.

"America took over my country."

"You're from Konoha?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Canada. Mom married an Air Force pilot."

"… Huh." TenTen took in the sight of the girl with her short black and teal hair, black t-shirt sporting a lion and tiger, camo cargoes, and black lace-up boots. Counting the eyeliner and pale skin, TenTen guessed Goth or Punk. "When'd you get here?"

"Three months ago. You?"

"Four _days_ ago."

"Ouch. Your English is good."

"So is yours… Doesn't Canada also speak French?"

"Oui, comme la Louisianne."

"Ano…"

"Yes, Like Louisiana."

"Louisiana speaks _Cajun_ French," Aubrey corrected. "A merging of French and—"

"Yeah, we know," Gwen groaned. "Nerd."

"Watch it señorita."

"That's _senior_ to you, junior."

"Only in high school, n00b."

"Not the n00biest," Gwen protested, staring at TenTen.

"I haven't committed to anything," TenTen protested.

That was only the start of the thirty-minute ride, out to a forest-lined highway and inconspicuous dirt road and the sweet smell of rotting meat.

"The cats like to age their food," Aubrey explained as they pulled in through the gate. "Welcome to Briggs Wild Cat Sanctuary. Home of cats who were kept as pets, used in money-making schemes, kept in ten-by-tens, declawed, and/or kept in a garage for seventeen years, among other things."

… What.

"Has Aubrey ranted to you about the illegal pet trade, yet?" Gwen smirked as she emerged from the car.

"Oh. Yeah, at Six Flags." It wasn't something she liked thinking about. Maybe when she needed some stealth practice, she could sneak down to the border and… _liberate _a few birds on Neji's behalf.

"Malgen, Convault."

She strode around the building like Tsunade-sama, if it weren't for the chill in her eyes. Tall, authoritative, long blonde hair pulled back at her neck into an Ino-length ponytail. She had an assessing eye and a strong form, toned muscles showing from beneath her sleeves. The khaki polo and jeans tucked into boots displayed rugged professionalism, every inch of this woman simultaneously at ease and prepared to fight to the death.

"Lt. Gen. Armstrong," Aubrey and Gwen nodded. It didn't take that nod's similarity to a bow to show how much the Malgen respected this woman. But even without that, TenTen was impressed.

"This is Ming?" Armstrong-san inquired, gaze sweeping over her. TenTen resisted the urge to stiffen in response, knowing the weakness it would betray.

"TenTen Ming," TenTen nodded, racking her brain for a proper American greeting. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Armstrong-san."

"'San'?" The woman raised an eyebrow.

"We don't have names for Western ranks," Tenten explained. "'San' is a title used to convey respect."

"I see," Armstrong-san nodded, nowhere near a bow… which was a bit annoying. "How have you found America?"

TenTen wanted to be cautious in her answer, but had no intention of lying to someone like this. "Depending on the people, it has been anywhere from friendly to pleasant to outright hostile. Given my country's relationship, I'll need a good deal more time to form a proper analysis."

"Good."

_That I'm actually thinking_, TenTen decided.

"Convault, help me inside. Malgen, get the umbrellas up and show Ming around."

"Yes, ma'am," both nodded. Aubrey led TenTen the way Armstrong-san had come, to a gate in the high wooden fence.

Beyond lay grass, wooden walkways, and high chainlink fences.

And tall, colorful umbrellas.

Aubrey winked at her, and motioned toward shorter, covered cages past the wooden building footsteps were audible in.

"That's Taz," Aubrey explained as she opened the first umbrella. An ear twitched in response, but didn't move besides. The cat, bigger than a housepet, spotted, and looking rather fat, wasn't even giving her the time of day.

"Go nearer his pen, and he'll growl up a thunderstorm," Aubrey smirked. "Bobcats are known for their bad tempers."

TenTen would remember this. "And they're local?"

"Yeah, one of the only two cats here who are. The rest are African and Asian."

TenTen nodded, then her eyes picked up something odd. "His paws…"

"He was de-clawed front and back, fed nothing but boneless, skinless chicken breast, and then his nitwit owner wanted to release him 'back' into the wild."

"Was he born in the wild?"

"No, nobody here was. Oh, and do you know anything about feline nutrition?"

"Fur is their fiber source as bones are their calcium source." Thank you, obsessive reading streak. "And by de-clawing…"

"The bones up to the first knuckle were cut out of his paws so that he wouldn't scratch anyone," Aubrey saw TenTen's face, but continued regardless, "but it's better than not cutting that high. If you fail to cut off the knuckle, the bones grow back horribly deformed."

"Americans do this to what should be wild cats?" What would Lee think of this?

"And a good deal of domestics. Well, if the cats are gonna be cooped up indoors, sometimes. Others know better."

Since the "kept as pets, etc." introduction, TenTen had suspected that this place would make her still angrier at America. She was correct.

"It's not just Americans, though," Aubrey said. "It's a worldwide practice."

TenTen was suddenly even more grateful to be a citizen of Konoha. "Does it hurt for Taz to walk on it?"

"Yep. If our cats are grumpy, they have a right to be."

TenTen nodded as they went to the next cage, and blinked at the _gorgeous_ cats inside.

"Mongo, Noodles, and Speedy Gonzales," Aubrey smiled. "Servals. They're African bird-hunters, leaping higher than that cage in pursuit."

With those legs, definitely. The cats, probably Taz's weight but taller and slimmer, regarded them with calm indifference. Except for the smallest perched toward the back. That one wouldn't stop hissing.

"Noodles is a little ball of I hate you," Aubrey explained with a touch of fondness. "Their owner was actually a pretty good one, but she had to move from a house to an apartment…"

_And you can't keep those in an apartment_, TenTen concluded as Aubrey said the same line aloud.

Which was almost terrifying.

"And since we aren't the beloved owner, they hate us."

Oh, and now the other two were hissing.

"The guys're actually pretty nice by comparison." Aubrey nodded toward the bigger two, "but a bite from Mongo takes about three months to heal."

If you didn't have Sakura, anyway.

… Right, Sakura.

TenTen felt bloodlust. She whirled automatically, and her eyes locked with golden-green doom.

"That's Tigger," Aubrey said calmly. "A black African leopard, probably the most dangerous cat."

TenTen believed it. The cat's cage was meters away, the cat himself gazing across thrice that distance. Still she felt the danger, even as he sat on a plywood platform in the very back of his pen.

They approached the proximity fence that kept them five feet from the actual cage. The perceived malevolence increased.

"Hey, Tig," Aubrey called amiably. She was rewarded with a full-fanged snarl of a hiss.

Yellow-white fangs betraying his age and perfect for rending flesh.

"Leopards will bond to only one person," Aubrey explained. "That person is Buccaneer."

"Buccaneer?"

"He and the Lt. General run this place, and the former does a lot of the heavy lifting. He's the one who raised Tig."

"So, what?" TenTen asked. "When Buccaneer shows up…"

"Tig would purr if he were capable."

Right, they could only roar. Not purr. Still, this guy—

"And rub up against the fence like a housecat."

TenTen snorted at the thought.

"Sammy'll rub up for anyone."

TenTen followed Aubrey's gaze to the scruffy, dark orange tiger next door. He was sniffing at them curiously, good-sized for a specimen outside the Forest of Death and twice Tig's height.

"Hey, Sammy," Aubrey smiled. "I'll be inside in a bit. He and Delilah-" Delilah being the tigress snoozing in the back-"are Bengals. If they were wild, they'd be in India. As it is, they're from Texas, where they were kept in a ten-foot by ten-foot enclosure with a concrete floor that couldn't be seen because the cage was never cleaned and a murky bucket of water—not that you could fit a pool in there anyway. Whatever food they were getting was just enough for Sammy to give Delilah so that she was only somewhat starving when we got them, and could somewhat walk. Sammy could not, and was bleeding from both ends, indicating—"

"Organ failure," TenTen murmured, watching the tiger who was somehow so _friendly_.

"Yep. Delilah, meanwhile, was terrified of water for years because when she was a cub, her owner tossed her into a pool and told her to swim, like a little wind-up toy, because it never occurred to them that tiger moms teach their cubs to swim by holding them up. Y'know, instead of letting them pull every muscle in their bodies and nearly drown."

A tiger scared of water. How messed up was that?

"Oh, and you know Texas? That state next door?"

TenTen nodded cautiously.

"It has the world's second largest tiger population."

"Aren't tigers only…"

"Asian? Yep. You can thank assholes who think they make good pets, roadside zoos and carnivals, and hunting ranches."

"Hunting ranches?"

"Places where 'hunters' are guaranteed a kill, even if the cat is locked in a cage and they shoot them point-blank."

"That's not hunting!"

"I know. They can go hunting as well," Aubrey explained as they cleared a corner and continued walking along the Bengal pen. She propped open another umbrella, and TenTen went to another some three meters off. "Problem is, you get these businessmen from the big cities with no business holding a gun, wanting to go shooting. So you get safety shooters, who fire at the same time as the customers—and make the kill shot. They'll say otherwise, of course, but at least it's a bit more humane."

TenTen growled, reminded of stupid Daimyos as three more tigers came into view—

And two of them were pretty massive.

"Gomez and Natasha," Aubrey said, pointing out the two lighter orange tigers, sleek and absolutely beautiful, "two of our three Siberian sibs. And Putty Tat," a scruffier, darker cat who somehow looked like Kiba, "an Indochinese-Siberian mix."

The look that one gave them spoke of energy and cleverness.

"He and Gomez are rivals for King of the Pen," Aubrey explained, "except Gomez is a bit bigger, so he's the Alpha and Putty's none too happy. "Then Natasha tells them both off, even though she's even smaller than Sammy."

She _looked_ smaller, slimmer. For a tigress rippling with muscle beneath the fur, anyway. But… _Why am I suddenly reminded of Team Gai?_

Natasha strode up to the fence, eyes clear and calm, perhaps curious or even playful. Teasing, in a way. She paced back and forth, hopped up onto the rim of the huge above-ground pool, strode along the edge, walked all the way around the rectangle…

And snarled when Putty poked his head up at her.

"Putty has an unrequited crush," Aubrey smirked. "But who can really blame him? It's obvious that Natasha was a photocat."

"A what?"

"A photocat. Go to the carnival, get your picture taken with a tiger cub for twenty bucks… Then the cub's three, four, five months old and is _too big_ to be a photo cat, and is thus disposed of. Roadside zoos and carnivals, imbeciles who think they'll make good pets, and of course our good friends the hunting ranches. They'd just _love_ a tiger like Gomez."

TenTen growled at the thought of these cats locked up in a cage and shot, but amazement quickly overcame that. She had just _met_ them! Hadn't even been all the way around the sanctuary, yet.

"And there's Morticia, sister of Gomez and Natasha."

Her golden eyes were wide, nervous, and as she paced up and down the pen she refused to close the last six feet to the very front. Everything in the way she moved was defensive.

"She's easily the shiest," Aubrey explained. "For some odd reason she's terrified of camera tripods."

A two-hundred pound tiger was terrified of camera tripods. Something was wrong with that statement.

"Don't ask me to explain why a three-hundred pound Siberian tigress is afraid of tripods, though. I just know that the last time the news crews came up… her ears went flat, her gaze went wider, and she slunk into her house for the rest of the day."

It couldn't be a coincidence that her enclosure had the most cover. Vegetation, a board set up in the back like next door but with pine in front of it…

"She's also gone more into her shell since Pooh died." Aubrey's face was somber. "He was huge, bigger than Gomez, but he would play Ultimate Doormat for her. So when we tried re-integrating her with the three next door…"

"The guys didn't like it?" If TenTen knew guys…

"She eats first. The guys eat first. If it continued, they would have killed her."

"Gomez would have?"

"They'd been separated," Aubrey shrugged. "Besides, tigers aren't social cats. You have to raise them together. They'll be happier, mind, but it's a bit of work at first."

Yeah, multiple tigers would be worse than one.

"Then there're the lions," Aubrey smirked, raising yet another umbrella. "Almost always at the front of their pens for all to see…"

And sprawled out like the laziest cats TenTen had ever seen.

"The brothers Batman and Robin," Aubrey said, somehow able to distinguish them… oh, the tufts by the back legs. "Batman's" were smaller than Robin's, even though he was just a bit bigger. "They're from a roadside zoo in Texas, and it should say something about how they were raised that Batman's son is already bigger than him."

"His son?"

"Moses. You'll meet him in a bit. The ladies are Yogie and BooBoo," (whose ears twitched upon hearing their names) "the latter of whom is Mo's mom."

There was enough fondness in the name "Mo" that TenTen was decidedly curious. "Hello, Batman, Robin. BooBoo, Yogie."

Batman glanced at her from the corner of his eye, but didn't move besides.

"Then there's Boudreaux, who as usual is in his igloo."

TenTen glanced at the pen diagonally set from that of the pride, consisting of grass, a track of trampled earth, a knotted rope… "I've been meaning to ask. What's with the cage within a cage?"

The much smaller section of chainlink, found in at least one corner of every pen, with a sliding door.

"The lockdown area," Aubrey shrugged. "After all, if we were to go in with them and lost an arm, the cat would have to be put down."

"But if _you_ went in with _them_…"

"In the eyes of the law, the cat is dangerous regardless," Aubrey (subtly angrily) shrugged.

"But that makes no sense!"

"Welcome to animal law," a man declared.

It had to be a man. There was no way a woman had that voice. TenTen whirled to see the one who had somehow gotten within twenty feet of her, and saw a veritable giant. With a mustache, mohawk, and braid.

_Wouldn't just two of those be enough..?_ TenTen pondered as Aubrey greeted the man-mountain as "Captain Buccaneer." Who did the heavy-lifting. For some odd reason, TenTen could easily picture him wrestling with the lions, laws be damned.

It was probably his heavy-duty metal arm.

"This is TenTen," Aubrey smiled after a knuckle-bump. "The one from Konoha."

"Really now?" Clearly as much the soldier as Armstrong-san, he was looking over her with a mixture of skepticism and analytics. Above all else, the eyes paused over the muscles of her arms and the look on her face. "Seen much war, kid?"

"More than I would like, Buccaneer-san."

"Scared, Ming?"

_[Aw, __**Hell no.**__] _TenTen bit back a retort in favor of, "Would you want to see war on _your _soil, Buccaneer-san?" She refused to let the memories of the invasions come to mind.

To her surprise, he laughed. _Laughed._ "Heh… This one may grow on me." Then his eyes really started to follow her gaze to his right arm… "Curious?"

"Almost always, Buccaneer-san."

That got her a chuckle. "Automail's the next line'a prosthetics. Useful… strong…" he then hefted a large toolbox by the bench, relishing the resulting **CLANK.** "Durable. Back to work, Malgen."

"Sir yes sir," Aubrey said, mainly seriously, but with a touch of humor. "C'mon."

Around the pen they went, in a narrow divide between the perimeter and property fences, before turning the corner so that they could see into a small gray "igloo…"

Tarnish-blue eyes watched from where their owner lay curled up, all his attention on Aubrey.

"Hey, Boudreaux," Aubrey smiled with a warmth that betrayed her favoritism. It was obvious in her eyes, even if she didn't baby the cat the way others would have. She lowered herself to a crouch, eyes near-level with his. "How's your week been?"

Boudreaux gave a lazy cat's blink seemingly in response, before his gaze flickered to her. Nowhere near Tig's bloodlust, not as wild, not as territorial, but with energy and interest that the other cats hadn't really spared them. Except for, maybe, Natasha.

This one was different.

"He's from South Carolina," Aubrey explained softly. "He had kind owners, even if they did de-claw him, but then they got divorced and knew one person alone couldn't keep him…"

"So he was sent here," TenTen concluded. "He's declawed?"

"Only in the front. He and Batman had surgery awhile back, since the jobs were badly done."

TenTen nodded at that, again surprised that she felt fury over it when she hadn't been here thirty minutes. She shouldn't have been bonding so…

"They grow on you quickly, huh?"

TenTen blinked and gave Aubrey a look of _How did you..?_

"I bonded with Boudreaux before I realized it," Aubrey explained. "You seemed to have an eye for Natasha."

TenTen smiled at that. Perhaps she did, but bonding this easily was a disaster waiting to happen. Therefore, she would try to distance herself through the day…

And would fail miserably. Her day would next be composed of following Aubrey (who got into the walkway when giving tours) and seeing how it all went. It was a lot of what she had heard before, maybe a bit more for the kids…

Until Tig the leopard leapt at Aubrey and hit the fence, snarling right in her face.

"Hey, Tig," Aubrey beamed, as if ignoring both the predator and the screaming kids. "Leopards will bond with all of one person. As I am not Buccaneer, he sees me as a threat to his territory. Did I mention that leopards are the only creature besides humans known to hunt for sport?"

No, no she had not, and why the heck was she sitting down with her back to that raving leopard? "Anyone want to guess a wild leopard's favorite food?"

**E****nd of chapter.**

_So according to the reviews, I have made all of three people cry with this story… which isn't nearly enough!__ Oh, and those cats? They're as real as their stories. I have the honor of working with them. Do I have any animal lovers in the audience?_

_Anywhoo, I'm going to spend the summer upping the chapters I have available, but TenTen'__s next week and a half WILL be covered by the end of August. Oh, and if I'm getting too much into the locality and not enough into TenTen's take and struggle, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Thanks for reading!_

_~Ara _^_^


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